Quiet Firing

I kept reading all these stories about “quiet firing” and then it happened to me. I lived it every single day I came to work; yeah, I later realized that I was a DEI hire. I kept wondering why they hired me in the first place and then it dawned on me, dummy you were a political hire! The social isolation was deafening. It was so loud I couldn’t hear it or maybe didn’t want to believe it was true. I would awaken everyday depressed and with dread going to work among people I knew hated or intensely disliked me but wore a fake smile like a warm blanket on their faces almost every day. Sometimes they let the fake grin slip, and I caught sight of their true feelings. Wow, they thought they were great actors…not. I saw right through it all and that is why I never trusted them or let myself get too close. I did not want to get burned or feel like a fool. I still worked my butt off, often coming home exhausted.

Yet, when it happened, the firing or being laid off or whatever they want to call it, happened, I was a bit surprised at how quickly it happened. It was like ripping off a band aide. There, it was finally done. I didn’t cry; actually, I was quite gracious, but I know that that was the Holy Spirit in me. It kept me calm and sincere. I was able to tell one of them, “May God bless you” and give him a hug (I must have been insane!). I actually think I meant it. It had to be the Holy Ghost because without it, I might have slapped him instead of blessing him. He would have deserved since he was the most deceitful of them all. I actually told him that he has a good poker face and that he should go to Vegas.

Once the shock wore off and I was able to gather my belongings, I slowly drove home or maybe it was a normal speed, I forget. I do remember calling my son from the road and telling him ahead of time that I had been laid off. I wanted to soften the blow before I got home. You see, neither of us has a job now. My handsome son who has Autism has been looking for work for over 2 years and now I am I out of work. What are we both to do?

Should we succumb to despair and/or become the latest statistic du jour. The thing that makes people thrive verses dive is will power and the strength and faith that God gave them. I have been leaning heavily on my faith for most of my life especially since I am an orphan since the age of 18. It has steadily and consistently sustained me. I have seen God work miracles in my life and insulate me from harm though at times it did not feel like it.

As reality has set in, I have calmed down even more and realized that they did me a favor. I don’t feel as tense and by the second night, I was able to sleep. Once you live by faith, you realize that all things really do work out for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. He has always protected me. One recent example is during that horrible nightmare the whole world experienced.

Right before the pandemic or Rona, I found a better place to live… rather hurriedly, I might add. I was not getting along well with my neighbors since they wanted me to constantly inhale exhaust fumes via my balcony when they backed their cars in and I had the nerve to complain about it according to them.

So, I had sat down and started looking for a new apartment and called about one place that looked promising. I had to leave a message which was promptly returned. Within two hours, I met the landlord and saw what became our new home.

I called it home because it felt that way. It was like night and day between the two apartments. We had one whole half of a 3-apartment house. I had an upstairs and downstairs, hardwood floors, 2 Rookwood Fireplaces (They were inoperable, but I didn’t care. They were still beautiful), great parking and a front porch. I quickly turned it into our Oasis in the pandemic.

Since, I had settled my claim and was financially stable, I was able to decorate and live normally while everyone else was locked down and hoarding toilet paper. It was a strangely happy, peaceful time. I grew a beautiful garden on my side of the front porch and even grew tomatoes for the first time. I also caught up on my reading; I think I read something like 6 books. God was indeed sustaining and insulating us. I was able to lead a “normal” life in the middle of chaos.

During this same time, I went to D.C. to take care of some business. I took some time to relax on the Eastern Shore where it seemed that there was no pandemic. People were sitting outside at restaurants without masks and social distancing was nowhere in sight. It was refreshing! I was living normally during an unnormal time. Again, God insulated me/us.

I know that He is doing it again this time. I am not sure about what is going to happen next, but I know that something big is going to happen and God is once again insulating my son and I in every way. Whether it be financial disaster, war, something bad at the company that laid me off, or sickness, I am sure that something is coming and God is preparing us and always protecting us. This is why God always has my gratitude and devotion. Though I was quietly fired, I am loudly protected because I know that my Father will have the last thunderous word.