Pursuit of Contentment
The Art of Finding Happiness in Loneliness
I went to Joshua National Park to put shit into perspective. I have never been genuinely happy unless I'm far away from the city. Staring out into the 110 degree desert landscape with Joshua Trees being the only source of green reminded me of the beautiful things Mother Earth was capable of-beauty even in the harshest environment. Like I, those ancient and mighty Joshua Trees grew in harshness, which is why I loved them from the very moment I laid eyes on them.
Only one time I felt like everything was green full of life and happiness. At just eighteen I was engaged to the most beautiful and kindred spirit I had ever met. I trusted, then, loved with no bounds, until one bullet ended it all. It may sound odd, but I felt it when it happened, a sharp cold sting pierced through my chest enough to make me stop running. The sun was beating down on us even though it was only 0700, Afghanistan is an unforgiving place, but the warmness ceased to reach my heart as the bitter coldness took over, and enveloped it in a stainless steel case. Something was wrong, even my military working dog dropped his Kong looking out into the distance. The cold shiver of dread told me that I should have tried harder in trying to diverge my fiancée from joining the Navy with me. But being born into poor, homophobic families left us with no choice. A human figure appeared and disappeared in a millisecond. I don't believe in ghosts or messengers, or any of those superstitious things, but it was at that specific moment that I believed I had just seen my fiancée's spirit saying ‘goodbye.’
She took my happiness with her, my aspirations to be a better self, my love of life, and love for other humans. I lost many friends after that. I became a hard person to like, or as most of the people that knew me would say that I was ‘awkward, weird, and a downer.’ As the years progressed these things became engraved in my very soul. Ask me how many friends I got, without hesitation I will tell you none. I have given the benefit of the doubt to a few, and they quickly reminded me why I was better alone.
It is what it is.
I love this quote. It has become my mantra since the unfortunate, yet fortunate events of the past year have left me feeling momentarily lost, and soul wrecked. I don't like to talk about personal things, and to be honest it may be why it took me a complete month to write this. I always feel like I'm ranting, but some things need to be put on paper so that I can reflect and learn from it.
And I did learn from it...the HARD way. It is out in nature that I find my happiness. Its in the ancient volcanoes in Lassen Volcanic NP, the solitude in Crater NP, the mighty trees in Redwood NP, and the deserts of Joshua NP that I know that love still exists in me. Although it may not be for another human, I at least can say that I have forgiven myself enough to let the grief and regret of letting my fiancée sign her life literally away, by taking these trips that we have talked about for us both.
Happiness, I have found, is fleeting and temporary like the people in my life, so now I am just fortunate to feel content with living. I have gone so far, despite the major bumps I'm still facing on the road.
Content with being me.
Content of loving myself.
Content and fortunate.
That's all I could ever ask for.
About the Creator
E. M. Navt
In my upcoming short novel, The Lights of Darkness, I defy the odds against the confinements of labels and categories. My work in poetry and short stories derives from actual personal life experiences, LGBTQ+ issues, sci-fi and myths.
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More stories from E. M. Navt and writers in Motivation and other communities.
Sandstorm
Military Working Dog Sandstorm, aka Stormy, was the very first dog I trained from puppyhood when I was a Master at Arms in the Navy. He was a beautiful black-tipped fawn-colored Belgian Malinois. His eyes always had a glistening honey brown look to them as if they were holding a secret in their depths. He was always willing to put in work, and after two years of intense training, consistency, patience, and headache, he passed the test necessary to clear him in being an official MWD. What he excelled in most was detecting IEDs, (improvised explosive devices). I feared that upon graduation, we would be stationed in the blistering and unforgivable desert that most deemed ‘hell on Earth.’ No sooner had I prayed, that my commanding officer walked in to tell me the news.
By E. M. Navt3 years ago in Petlife
The Hustle Trap: How Chasing Success Is Quietly Stealing Your Happiness
For an entire generation, success has been rebranded as a lifestyle. Social media feeds are filled with early mornings, late nights, motivational quotes, and captions that glorify exhaustion as a badge of honor. The message is clear and constant: if you are not grinding, you are falling behind. This idea, often called “hustle culture,” has become one of the most powerful and persuasive narratives of modern life. At first glance, it sounds inspiring. Work hard. Push yourself. Don’t settle for average. These are not harmful ideas on their own. The problem begins when effort becomes an identity and rest becomes something to feel guilty about. Many people now measure their worth by how busy they are. The signs of the hustle trap often appear quietly. Skipped meals become normal. Sleep becomes optional. Weekends turn into “catch-up days.” Time with family and friends starts to feel like a distraction instead of a joy. The line between dedication and self-neglect slowly disappears. Psychologists warn that chronic overwork doesn’t just drain energy — it changes how the brain responds to stress. When the body stays in a constant state of pressure, it begins to treat even small challenges as threats. This can lead to anxiety, irritability, and a feeling of being permanently on edge. Ironically, this state of mind often makes people less productive, not more. Creativity declines. Decision-making becomes rushed. Focus becomes scattered. The very success people are chasing starts to move further away. One of the most dangerous myths of hustle culture is the idea that “you can rest after you make it.” The problem is that “making it” is a moving target. There is always another goal, another level, another comparison. Without realizing it, people can spend their entire lives chasing a future moment of peace that never arrives. But a quiet shift is beginning. More professionals, entrepreneurs, and creators are starting to question the grind. They are redefining success not just by income or status, but by quality of life. They are asking different questions: Do I have time for the people I care about? Do I enjoy my daily routine? Do I feel present in my own life? Some companies are experimenting with four-day workweeks. Others are encouraging employees to fully disconnect after hours. Individuals are setting boundaries around their time and attention, even when it feels uncomfortable at first. This doesn’t mean ambition is disappearing. It means it’s being reshaped. There is a growing understanding that sustainable success is built like a marathon, not a sprint. It requires pacing, recovery, and self-awareness. Just as athletes schedule rest days to avoid injury, high performers are learning to schedule mental and emotional recovery to avoid burnout. Another powerful realization is that identity should not be tied to productivity alone. People are more than what they produce. They are friends, partners, parents, learners, and community members. When work becomes the only source of meaning, everything else can start to feel empty by comparison. Small changes can begin to loosen the grip of the hustle trap. Turning off notifications in the evening. Taking a real lunch break. Saying no to commitments that don’t align with personal values. These acts may seem minor, but they send a powerful message to the mind: my life is not a machine. In a world that constantly pushes for more, choosing “enough” can feel like an act of rebellion. But it is often in that space — between ambition and acceptance — that people rediscover something they didn’t even realize they were losing. Joy.
By Hazrat Usman Usman3 days ago in Motivation
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