Plans, or Lack Thereof

I’m just sitting here, supposing I should write about my projects for 2025. I suppose it would be easier if I actually knew what they were, or if I didn’t feel that I was the project that most needed working on. But here I am, mid-January, staring at my laptop attempting to draft an article on all my sky-high plans, or my lack thereof, for this year.

The first thing I do is ask myself a question. How does one compete in a contest asking for plans for this year’s project when one doesn’t have a set project, well not a set time limit at least?

It isn’t that I don’t intend to write this year, or that I don’t hope that my creativity will lead to bigger and better things, and that I’ll be blessed with more success than I can imagine. I certainly do plan to write, and I do hope for success, as we all do. The thing is, though, I don’t have a specific task or project planned at the moment. Well, not really.

That may change next week, or even tomorrow. But as of this writing, I just don’t know what this year will bring. Will I publish a book? Maybe. I’ve been mulling it over recently, more so than I ever have in the past. Can I guarantee it’s going to get done? No, I can’t. Whether or not it happens will be determined by my sense of motivation, inspiration, and numerous other factors within and out of my control. I don’t know where any of those factors stand at this moment.

What I do know for sure is that I plan to continue publishing on Vocal on a regular basis. As already established in my profile, most of my pieces will likely be poetry, with challenge entries, personal essays and fiction thrown in for good measure. I intend to keep supporting and engaging with the community as much as I can. I know I’ve been a little slack on engagement lately, but as you know, sometimes life gets in the way.

I hope to will take some time to organize my profile into themes, specifically my poetry, just in case I do get the urge to publish. It’s much more likely I’d be apt to choose that genre as I have so many poems to pick from, which may or may not be a good thing. As we all know, too much choice can be overwhelming, and since I have this unfortunate habit of overthinking everything, this task may be considered an entire project on its own.

I also hope to finally branch out to other platforms this year, my first venture being an entry in a Canadian non-fiction contest. I’ve already got a piece mostly written in my head, I just need to transcribe it onto the screen; edit, swear, edit, swear, and edit again. Thankfully, I have until March. Thankfully, I know a lot of swear words.

For the first time, I am considering entering some poetry contests outside of Vocal. I’m not sure which ones yet. I’ve seen ads pop up on my FB page lately, and I’ve looked briefly into them, but I haven’t really considered entering anything. I know I need to do some research before deciding which ones to proceed with.

So far, the only writing I’ve published has been on the Vocal platform, and it’s been my comfort zone. I was a nervous wreck and had little self-confidence in my ability when I first joined. Three-and-a-half years, numerous friends, and a few challenge placements later, I have to say it truly feels like home. I am happy, I am comfortable, and my confidence has grown to the point where I can say that I am truly proud of some of the pieces I’ve published. For that, I am grateful.

So, there they are – my projects for 2025. Seems I do have plans after all, even if I’m not reaching for the moon, and even if, thus far, my projects exist only in my head. But that’s okay with me for now. Since every project has to start with an idea, I am happy to say I at least have some inkling of how I want the year to go creatively. My plans form nicely in my mind, even if my ducks are too busy quacking at each other to line up in a row.

That’s the thing with me, and my writing. It’s hard to make definitive plans when I never know when inspiration will hit. If you’re someone who knows me well, or is familiar with the creative brain of Cathy, you’ll know I have little control over it. I write when I can. I write when inspiration comes, when I’m engaged. When I’m not inspired, I don’t write – not anything good anyway. I can’t force it. I’ve tried.

Sometimes I can squeeze out several pieces a day, for several days in a row. Sometimes I have trouble stringing seventeen syllables together. Sometimes I don’t publish for a couple of weeks.

There have been days when I’ve sat with my notepad, or my laptop, trying to force myself to write something. It gets down, on the paper on or on the screen, but what I end up with is a bunch of drivel with no flow, no rhyme, no emotion, nothing but blah.

I know that sounds like an excuse or a cop out. It sounds lazy. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. And yes, it is a cop out.

I made a half-joking comment at the beginning of this piece about my project for 2025 being me. I think I’ve just come to the realization that it wasn’t a joke. Maybe, as far as creativity and my ability to write on demand go, me is exactly what I need to work on – and I will.

In fact, I believe I’ve already started. It’s late afternoon of the last day of eligibility for this challenge and I am attempting to finish this piece that I just yesterday decided to write, this piece that began as an “I suppose I should.”

Lack of inspiration and zero motivation caused me to skip the last three challenges. Yesterday, I sat at my computer and forced myself to write something, whether I wanted to or not. It didn’t flow easily. It took much longer than it should have, considering the word count, and I walked away numerous times. The difference between this and previous instances of losing inspiration is that this time, I came back. Happily, I can report that “suppose I should” has morphed into “I will,” and will soon be posted as “I got this.”

I, better than anyone, know my creative mind. I just need to remind myself that I also own it. I just need to make my plans and learn to work through its many moods. And believe me, it’s got moods. Somedays, it wants to play nice. Somedays, it wants to be a cranky little bitch. Somedays, it just wants to sleep; and somedays, it stands in the doorway screaming to be let out.

Oh dear. I think I’ve just come to another realization. My mind is cat. Maybe I should give it a treat, or maybe I should have just gotten Abigail to write this.

Cheers to 2025! We got this, Vocal peeps.