Nose on the Grindstone

Year 2020 has become one of the years for the gravestone. What did that opinion do for your mindset? I wonder if you’ve given grace to this year and yourself the way I’ve learned to this year. The COVID brought out the survival in us all. Naturally we are defensive, not compassionate. Vulnerability is the gift to humanity that’s often taken for granted, by self or another. We all have been through the ringer this year one way or another. My story? I’ve begun a journey that I’ve manifested due to my dreams and aspirations. Music has not only inspired me to compel forward at each high and low, but I have been able to transcend through the goosebump intimacy I’ve allowed through sound. This feeling is recognized through a sense of comfort, especially in times where we aren’t able to distract ourselves as easily.

My journey has more than a love story to unfold, but a personal mission of embodying the humanitarian I aspire to be. Has anyone else been under extreme pressures and overly critical of themselves? I sure have. This year has shown me that one can not set a time frame for themselves without the cosmos laughing and shaking things up. Control? That went out of the window! At least we can still control our playlist!! Thank goodness for cell phones. I’ve been spending this time evaluating how I treat the items and people around me. I’ve been unfair to myself and others with having less personal freedom during the COVID’s appearance. Opening up has become seemingly more difficult for my personal life, whilest life must continue on.

Since the COVID has begun, we’ve needed one another more than ever before due to the many deaths, job losses and insecurities it has brought upon our nations. All the while it’s brought intimacy to the front line for discomforting discussions. A soul like mine, has both loathed and adored the emotional awareness I’ve presumed responsibility over! It’s been a rough transition not being able to degress my emotional thoughts with movie theaters, lounge bars, pools, amusement parks, even the comfort of my own skin! The masks completely taken pieces of my dignity away by them being expected and consistently enforced, with no regard for self right! Am I wrong for wanting a choice here? I don’t think so! I understand we don’t have the choice because of others lack of respect to the next person if they are sick, but we should be trusted more to make our own concious decisions. This way our communities are not in a constant state of anxiety due to one stipulation.

Bringing me to my story. I met the love of my life this year, at age 22. My mind was completely blown away with the way a miracle [feeling] took place and brought my lover and I together. I’m from Kansas City, KS whilest my lover is here in Newnan, Georgia. How did this happen you’d ask? How did I move from Kansas City, KS to Georgia? I trusted love. I trusted my feelings. I trusted the solitude I’ve faced and set out on a journey to be consumed in what I thought to be love and romance. I attracted some many opportunities for continuous abundance to flow in, without stopping to show gratitude for all that I had already achieved. My constant anxiety of not being able to nourish my individualism anymore due to Covid and now my personal responsibilities, became too much to bear. Mental health is a very serious issue many of us are aware of but not too compassionate towards. That applies for ourselves and our loved ones around us. I’ve begun a self cleaning quest, of alleviating myself of certain expectations and time frames. Taking care of things in front of me with an open mind, an objective stand point rather than a pessimistic attitude. Keeping your focus is not easy, whether you face mental health issues or you do not, you are strong for forging through each day. I recommend Nose on the Grindstone by Tyler Childers because it’s high value in moralism and integrity. You are your biggest supporter or your biggest enemy. Become more introspective and expressive with yourself; others are dying to know the details. Surrounding yourself in environments that help you overcome your insecurities and fears, is pertinent and extremely impactful. Keep that in mind as you enter 2021..