My Story

I am a very shy, introverted person by nature. I love and admire alternative looking people. In this I include those who have piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, shaved heads, and unique clothing styles. My desire to change my own style weighed heavily on my mind for years.

After having a rough time in my early 20's, I now know that I can be who I want to be. I was in a relationship with a Narcistic jerk for three years. After having a child and the abuse continuing on, I sought help. After his stint in therapy, we were supposed to marry in 2017. One month before the marriage, I was assaulted and almost murdered by my now ex fiancé. After that, I knew things had to change so I took my daughter and left.

Three years later I am with my amazing boyfriend and life is pretty good. In January of 2020 I lost my mother to cancer. It was somewhat sudden because she was supposed to be in remission for almost four years. Apparently it spread in that time and by the time the doctors realized she was ill, it took only a month for her to pass away.

She was my best friend. She passed away in my living room with my boyfriend by her side. He had told me to stay in the bedroom while she passed. It has been so hard this year but I remain strong for my daughter and my partner. I've survived suicide attempts, self harm, and eating disorders. I am strong and I am now a mental health mentor for a nonprofit in the US. I believe that strength comes from hardship and heartache. I have proven over and over that I have strength and purpose. I am because you were, Mom. (Pictured: Fingerprint is her's with that quote)

Now, October of 2020, I am a completely different person inside and out. I have moved from Christianity and am now a proud Pantheist. I have shaved my head and dyed my hair many colors. My nails are done and I have contacts in my eyes to see by. My clothing is very diverse and I often wear jeans. I wear a nose hoop in my septum and I have Angel Bites on my upper lip. My tattoo count is 3 now and I publicly came out as bisexual late January. I spend time doing a lot of art projects for both school and as a hobby. In my home I now have incense and aromatherapy diffusers. I have scars but they are healing and I have calmed my depression. My dachshund, Lu, is by my side and I will always remember how much my Mom loves me.

I love myself more now than I ever did before. I love my look and the way it makes me feel to be unique. My own sense of self has changed. In my spare time I often ponder what life would be like if I had not made it out in time. I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed and if my mother had never gotten cancer. Perhaps I would still be a shy, introverted girl who loves animals and alternative people. I would still be hidden in the shadow and would be loving a guy who was wrong for me. I love my little family now. My boyfriend is amazing and my daughter is my world. I enjoy school, work, and pizza on a regular basis. My story is not over yet. I am here to stay and will keep my strength like a phoenix rising from the ashes of my past.