My Room

I was sitting in a dark room. Pitch black. I had a flashlight, but the batteries were old. The light wasn’t as bright as it used to be. I knew the room was full, but I wasn’t able to see my surroundings clearly until I got close to them. I was stumbling, bumping into old furniture and boxes. Feeling my way around, trying to make sense of the clutter. For so long, I had been surrounded by the mess. It was overwhelming. And then, I found the light switch.

Flipping it on, suddenly, my room was illuminated. At first it was a shock. After spending so long in the dark, my eyes were had not adjusted to the bright light. I kept them closed because I was afraid of the sudden change. One I got past that fear, my eyes adjusted and I could see everything that was in my room. My mess. I could see the boxes, the furniture and everything else I had collected over the years. I could see everything I needed to keep, and more importantly, everything I needed to get rid of. There were so many things that served me no purpose. I decided then and there to start cleaning. I went through each item individually and asked myself, "Do I need this in my life?" If the answer was no, I simply let it go. I let go of all the things that no longer served a purpose and started paying more attention to the things that were important.

My room finally started to feel like a safe, bright space again. A place I could be comfortable with myself, free from judgement, free from fear of others opinions. A place I could be me and be happy.

In this story, my room is my life. The boxes and furniture and clutter are the relationships and situations that do not bring me joy or serve purpose. There are also good things in the room though. People I love, relationships I cherish, and things that I couldn’t imagine my life without.

If you feel like you are overwhelmed with things that are not good for you, clutter, maybe it’s time you "cleaned your room" like I did. I now live a life with purpose. My goals and dreams have changed now that I no longer fear what other people think. I’m so much happier than I ever have been and I feel my life moving in a positive direction.

The truth is, it’s okay to have clutter in your life. The key is knowing which parts are good for you and which ones are holding you back. That can sometimes be the hardest part. Once you start to feel like something is missing from your life or like the direction you’re going maybe isn’t for you, that is the universe (or whatever you believe in) telling you that it’s time for a change. Moving on from relationships and situations can be hard, but they may only be what you want in the present. If they are not what will be good for you in the long run, don’t dwell on them any longer.

Every single person on this earth deserves to live their happiest life possible, whether they believe it right now or not. We are all destined for greatness. Don’t let worry and fear get in the way of you living your best life. For me, covering my house in affirmations helped me in my process of letting go of fear and intimidation. Two of my favorites read: "I am always in the right place at the right time, engaged in the right activity" and "I deserve all happiness in my life, now and forever." I struggled for a long time with insecurities and low self-esteem. I thought I wasn’t worth anything. I was down on myself all the time and it seemed like the universe was just giving me more of what I was putting out there. My finances were terrible, my relationship with my boyfriend was not great, and most importantly, I wasn’t feeling like a very good example to my daughter. When my attitude about me changed, everything around me changed. Money started flowing more easily to me, my relationship with my boyfriend got and continues to get better and stronger every day, and I finally feel like I am someone my daughter can look up to.

If there is anyone out there feeling the way I was feeling, I hope you too can find the peace and happiness in yourself that I found in me. You are worth it. You do matter. You can change your current situation because it doesn’t define you.