My Healing Journey

I started my journey broken. My heart was always in a million pieces. And like a puzzle I had to pick them all up and begin to heal. Past trauma, abusive marriage, narcissistic men, sexual abuse. I am Bi Polar 2, Complex PTSD, High Functioning ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety and more. This hindered my capability to be “normal”. So one day I decided to stay abnormal and see how it was.

Instead of self harming I decided to tattoo my right hand. And I did. I am no artist by any means but I knew that it would help my pain. It did more then just help. It taught me patience. It taught me to follow through. It taught me to stay unique and different. Everything I have tattooed on myself means something. From the teepee to the sweat lodge to Grandmother Moon to the Tree of Life. And I’m not done yet.

It helped me process my trauma, sit with those feelings and really feel them deep inside my spirit. It helped me understand who I was, where I came from and where I am going. It gave me a purpose and helped me understand it.

The sweat lodge on my hand is a Buffalo Lodge in the summer. And a Bear Lodge in the winter. The Bear lodge sits inside a teaching lodge in the winter months. The hottest lodges I have ever sat in the healing I get when the lodge keeper opens the door is exceptional. It’s genuine. It’s life changing. I suffer. I heal. I love it. When I found the lodge I knew Creator needed me to heal. The teepee is my sanctuary. It’s where I go for Full Moon Ceremonies. I release everything that I kept deep in my heart. As grandmother moon watches us, listens to us, takes all our sadness, pain, hurt and words. She brings them to the Ancestors that will help us. The blue arrow on my wrist reminds me to always put out kindness and love in the world. Because it always comes back to you in one way or another and 10 times better. The Tree of Life refers to Sundance Ceremonies. Next year will be my first year as a helper. This journey I have been on since I have walked tbay Red Road is always a Healing Journey. And as I put the puzzle pieces of my heart back together I see how it has changed and how much I have grown. Every moment is teachable. We are always learning. We are always growing. We are always evolving. Our ceremonies keep us grounded and always teaches us.

I am Sky Thunderbird Woman from the Bear Clan. And I am a strong, independent, unique and diverse Ikwe. I am forever learning and forever yearning to learn. I am an activist and an eco warrior. I fight for what is right even though I stand alone sometimes. I am a healer and a medicine harvester. I am a Jingle and Traditional Dancer. I am awesome and ever growing. I have a daughter with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and Tourette’s. One day she will forget me. But right now we are making memories she can fall back on. She has extremely bad memory loss. Sometimes I will cry knowing one day she will not be able to remember me. And I’m ok with that. I make the most of my time with her right now. Make all the memories. So when she finally forgets me she can fall back on all the goood times we have had together. My healing journey is forever. My healing journey is always changing. I’m happy. I love fully. I am kind and gentle. But I am also a warrior. Wiindo Debwe Mosewiin

Chi Miigwetch