My BEST Life

Today is January 25th, 2021 at 6 o’clock in the morning. It’s still dark out and as I sit here in bed, eyes closed, I can feel a stirring whirlwind inside my chest. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel bad. It feels unknown...or maybe undecided. It’s an unsettled wind that was turned up by the hurricane of events that was 2020: a mixture of chaos, anger, and loss. A breakdown of life as we know it, leaving pieces scattered about. Over the past year I have been feeling disconnected, moody, and heavy. And when I look at all those pieces scattered about, I am acutely aware that whatever my life previously was, it wasn’t what I truly want, or need. It’s too busy, too messy, and too bogged down with STUFF. I’ve been SPENDING too much, EATING too much, and WASTING too much. All this time, money, and energy spent with little to show for it that I actually VALUE. But in these early days of 2021, there is a sense that, in some ways, a storm has settled. And as I take an internal survey, I can feel that in between the cracks and rough edges lies the answer: the little pieces of GOOD laying around. The little pieces of what I value and hold dear: my FAMILY and FRIENDS, my HEALTH, my love of NATURE and respect for the ENVIRONMENT, my CREATIVITY, my GARDEN. This is MY potential. This is my compass. This is my way forward in 2021. With this new air of possibility, I’m not going to rebuild my OLD life. I’m going to identify the most important pieces of myself and stitch them together to form my BEST life. A life where my day to day has PURPOSE and most of my steps are leading me towards the life I WANT to lead.

Now, how am I going to get this 39 year old woman (that’s me;), with all of her baggage, bad habits, and undisciplined tendencies, to make changes that actually stick? How am I going to pass up those cookies, get myself to yoga class before work, and spend my time being productive instead of sitting in front of the t.v. for 3 hours? By slowing down and being more thoughtful; more purposeful. By calming my thoughts and sitting silently when I have an unhealthy craving. By having quiet talks with myself like telling a little girl, “Listen sweetie, I KNOW it’s hard, but if anyone can do it, you can. You’re BEAUTIFUL and STRONG and everything you need is INSIDE you if you just listen. Now, take a deep breath......and go.” I will start small and focus on being consistent. And, most importantly for me, avoid distraction. “Drink more water from my reusable glass container.” Check. “Eat more organic vegetables that are not wrapped in excessive plastic.” Check. “Walk right past that remote control.” Check. After all, with 2021 comes the passing of another year, and the realization that I am not getting any younger.

So, back to that stirring whirlwind in my chest. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel bad. It feels like momentum. And if the event storms of 2020 have taught me anything, it is that we are all responsible for our day to day actions. The outcome of my life is MY choice. And I choose to direct that large, stirring, momentous whirlwind as HARD as I can towards what my heart most desires: fulfillment of my TRUTH and my best life.