Moving Through Fear

Just like Brené Brown puts it, this is an FFT a Fucking Frist Time. An FFT is usually accompanied by awkwardness, excruciating vulnerability, and fear.

And I am experiencing an FFT right now. I have always wanted to start a blog. And always wanted to write about the stuff I am passionate about, the books that I read and generally sharing any thought and concept that could help someone become a better version of themself.

"When we get to the point that we only do things that we’re already good at doing, we stop growing. And truly living. "

Brené Brown in "Unlocking Us"

So here I go. But how do you move through fear?

We all have pet names for fear. We call it Worry, Anxiety, Stage fright, Dread, and so on.

Fear is not the Enemy

Fear is evolutionarily designed to serve us. It is healthy to fear. It tells you weather you should run toward a brown bear or not (Don't run toward a Bear).

Without fear, people would walk into running trains and towards wild animals. In short. We would all be dead. Fear is here to keep us safe and sound.

But with our developed brains and our not so prehistoric like lives fear can stop us from going for what we really want in life. It can stop us from asking for a promotion, asking out the woman or man we really like on a date. It stops us from building that business, quitting that job, and staying stuck in our lives.

Before sitting down and writing this article I was too captured by fear.

I wish there was a way to think yourself into moving through fear. But unfortunately moving through fear in more an art than a science. So let me move you through a strategy for moving through fear I have from Marie Forleos Book "Everything is figureoutable"

So how do we move trough fear ?

Action as the antidote to fear

Taking action is the number one thing that gets us out of fear and thought it. Because it provides evidence that is contrary to our fear. It tells our brains that what we feared would happen isn't actually going to happen. Or if it does It usually isn't as bad as we painted it to be.

In our modern lives waiting to stop feeling afraid is the biggest mistake you can make. It is taking decisive action that transforms fear. It is the "doing the thing anyway" that helps us move through it.

That's what courage is all about . Feeling fear and doing it anyway.

Easier said than done right?

Top books that come to mind for me when I think of fear:

• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

• 5 Seconds Rule by Mel Robbins

• Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

Today I am going to focus on Marie Forleo's approach since its my most recent read.

Moving through the fear approach by Marie Forleo

"If a fear can't be articulated it can't be conquered"

Steven King

Step 1: Figure out what you actually afraid of.

Ask yourself. What am I actually afraid will happen if you say yes to this? What is the Worst-case scenario? Write it down dig deep.

Say you dream of being a candle-maker and selling your candles on Etsy earning yourself a living. Your worst-case scenario might be that you are afraid to make a fool of yourself in front of your friends or maybe you are afraid nobody will buy your homemade candles or you end up a giant failure wasting your time and money on this instead of working a "real job".

Step 2: Take a look at what you have written

How likely is it that the worst-case scenario actually occurs? Rate it from 1-10. With 1 Being Crazily unlikely and 10 is guaranteed to happen.

So with the candle making scenario. How likely is it really that you are going to be a giant failure and your friends and family will laugh at you? Are you really going to face that kind of ridicule?

You might already anticipate where I am going with this but stay with me.

Most of our crazy fear scenarios are actually quite unlikely and you might already feel a little lighter. If that so keeps going there is more to dig up.

Step 3: Steps you'd take to recover

This is something quite unique in Marie Forleo's approach to fear. You don't stop at the likelihood you go further.

Should the worst-case scenario, no matter how unlikely it is, actually occur. What steps would you take to recover?

So say it really didn't work out. You set out ordered yourself all the materials. Spent hours and hours on learning the craft and making the candles. Put them on Etsy. And ... Nothing. Not a single one sold. Your worst-case scenario hits. You lost the money the time. All of it. Strangers on the internet hate you and friends and family said they never believed it'll work out in the first place.

You are crushed.

Now what? What will you do to recover? Will you take on another job? Take a loan? Ask your parents for money? Downgrade your lifestyle and keep making candles?

What does it teach you? Will it teach you who your friends are? Will you learn how to market yourself? Is this gonna show you what you really want?

Step 4: Flip the Script

Think of the best thing that could happen? Imagine it. Go wild. What is the best possible scenario?

Will you sell thousands of candles that you have to hire more people. Are you envisaging to earn your whole family a living? Do what you love? Expand and gain creative liberty? Financil freedom? Give it all here.

Step 5: Explore fear as your GPS

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy."

Friedrich Nietzsche

What helpful and positive message is fear trying to send you? Is fear telling you, you are out of your comfort zone? Or are you going to be stretched? do you have to face the unknown? Listen out for the message.

Step 6: Leverage your language

Giving something a name leverages its power. Is it fear or anxiety or worry? Give your fear a cute pet name like blubish or fluschy. Suddenly it doesn't seem as scary anymore, does it?

Now you can use phrases like. " I am feeling a bit flushy about this presentation tomorrow".

Step 7: Think about past failures

List 3 good things that came through failure. Did you learn a lesson? Gain clarity? Get a direction?

My takeaway

Personally I've found this strategy pretty helpful. I realized that one of tho things I am afraid of most is crickets and I can handle that. So this is me moving through fear handling my FFT.

How do you face your fears?