Morphing from a 'snowflake' into an icicle.
An insider's guide into everything wrong with seeing Gen Z's as the 'righteous' snowflakes and how life is difficult for all.
I think the first time I was ever so-called 'triggered' by the fact that I was a snowflake was amidst an A-Level Psychology class whereby a teacher quickly lumped us all together when referring to our attitudes to mental health. At the time, it was difficult to not scream from the top of my lungs, not only as a 'teacher's pet' but also as the only person of colour in the room. I knew all too well just what growing up in 2020 was really like and the 'hardships' I had faced - although, I refuse to call them that hence the italics.
This isn't an insider’s guide into my life by any means but I think a part of understanding what it is that I want to say to all those who group us youth into a collective relies on me providing real life examples of life without the rose tints. And like all good students, I intend to delve into both sides of the discussion.
So, a tad about me, your mystery author. Well, as the Sherlock Holmes amongst you can gather, I am 18 and from the UK. I have struggled with both anxiety and depression - the typical illnesses of the 'snowflake' - for a number of years for so many reasons that there will almost certainly be more posts on this. Irrespective of this, as part of 'coping' with both, I set up an email address which I have spent the last year and a half emailing advice, diary entries and inner thoughts to. My 'eco-friendly' solution to using a physical journal probably does not help with proving myself different from the snowflake but there you have it.
I decided that, despite how personal these entries are, I'd share a few segments with you today of one from the 1st of May 2020 at 22:18.
Please see this as a trigger warning because what's to come, might not necessarily be pleasant to read.
'Purposeless is how I feel right now. It is the 1st of May 2020 and I haven’t felt this purposeless since God knows when. I lied – since my last email. I’m at home in my front room feeling confused. Right now, all I want is to be alone and to refresh my brain. I feel like I’m not able to think properly about myself.
I often think I don’t know why I’m alive. What is the reason?
I also feel incapable of ever being happy. Academically, I know I haven’t tried very hard and this is the issue with me; I want to be successful, really smart with the best grades and job but I don’t want to work for it and I struggle to accept being mediocre (which is still good for me despite the amount of effort I put in). I just don’t think I’ll ever be capable of being happy.
Also, I’ll never understand what it’s like to have someone love me for me. I’m constantly doubting myself and I don’t even take relationships seriously because I automatically can’t help but file them away as something which will never happen. Genuinely, I believe that I am unlovable. I feel inadequate to be a human and I feel like my feelings are reinforced when I’m around other humans and I think that what has sparked my longing desire to be alone. Alone with just myself and my own thoughts. Free from judgement of others but of course, God will always judge.
In all honesty, I have no idea how I keep myself alive. I genuinely feel it’s a fear of death that keeps me alive.
I hate being alive and I hate the thought of being dead so all I ever feel is trapped.
Genuinely, I wish I never existed. Like I wish I was never an egg nor a sperm. I wish I didn’t have to be given life of any kind – whether it be the one I have right now or another. I just genuinely wish I never existed ever.
I just wish I never lived a day and never breathed a day. Life – both in this world and most certainly, in the life to come – suck the most and the thing that I am most hateful about is having been given life.
The wait until death continues… only to do this shite all over again. F*** me, being alive sucks.'
Now, to the naked eye, it's clear to see one thing amongst this entry - a longing for purpose and a desperate referral to the NHS Mental Health Service. I can say that I have successfully managed the latter so far in life but the first one, not so much.
How can it be that at 18, one can feel like this about life?
The answer to this is simple - the wanting for love, the wanting for success, the wanting for approval exists in us all. Bones and flesh are the core of who we are; from the Caucasian, 73-year-old Daisy of Somerset to the South Asian, 4 year old Aman's of Leicester, we're all fundamentally the same.
But this you already know. Yet you struggle to genuinely see. And you are not alone on that - we're all so focused at looking at things so closely that we just miss the true value behind the things we do. Let me explain.
Take, my longing for academic success. What is it that I fail to see? The value of learning. My longing for love. I fail to see the love I already have. My longing for purpose - failure to see the purpose I have at this minute in time which is to live.
I heard this quote from Ellen DeGeneres regarding the death of basketballer Kobe Bryant and it was 'life is short and it's fragile. We don't know how many birthdays we have...if you haven't told someone you love them, do it now' and it truly resonated with me. I think, as humans, we spend so much time seeing people as so different from us and grouping them into these categories - be it gender, sexuality or in this case age - that we forget that beneath it all, all we are is the same.
Perhaps, if we stopped and listened to one another a tiny bit more, we'd make more change than ever before.
If you have been affected by anything within this article, please contact 116 123 if you are from the UK or visit https://www.nowmattersnow.org/help-line for local and national support.
About the Creator
Staring at the Sun
I have no actual way of describing what this profile will bring; if you're looking for a good story or some advice to read over a cup of tea, you're at the righ place! Oh, and by no means am I qualified at all to do this!
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“He Kept Going When No One Was Watching — And That Changed Everything”
No one ever noticed the days he almost gave up. There were no messages asking if he was okay. No one wondered why he became quieter. No one asked how much effort it took just to keep going. To the world, he was just another ordinary man. His name was Ayaan. Ayaan’s life didn’t collapse in one dramatic moment. It slowly faded. Missed opportunities. Rejected ideas. Silent disappointments. Every failure was small, but together they became heavy. He had dreams once. Big ones. Dreams that kept him awake at night, imagining a future where his hard work would finally matter. But over time, those dreams began to feel unrealistic—almost embarrassing. People around him seemed to move forward effortlessly. They celebrated promotions, achievements, and milestones. Ayaan watched from the side, smiling politely while feeling invisible. At work, his efforts were ignored. Among friends, his voice faded. At home, expectations weighed heavily on him. Slowly, a dangerous thought settled into his mind: “Maybe I’m not good enough.” That thought followed him everywhere. It followed him on crowded buses. It followed him into sleepless nights. It followed him every time he tried again and failed. One night, after scrolling through endless success stories online, Ayaan closed his phone and stared at the dark ceiling. His chest felt tight, not because of pain—but because of exhaustion. He whispered quietly, “How long do I keep trying?” There was no answer. But that night, Ayaan made a decision—not a loud one, not a confident one. A tired decision. He decided to keep going, even if nothing changed. The next morning felt the same. The same routine. The same doubts. The same fear of wasting his life. But Ayaan showed up anyway. He worked when no one praised him. He studied when no one guided him. He practiced when no one believed in him. Some days, motivation disappeared completely. On those days, discipline took over. He reminded himself: “I don’t need applause. I need progress.” Weeks passed. Nothing dramatic happened. No sudden success. No recognition. No miracle. But something subtle began to shift. Ayaan became calmer under pressure. He learned to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. He stopped comparing his journey to others. The silence that once scared him now became his training ground. Months later, a serious problem appeared at his workplace. It was complicated, risky, and easy to blame on someone else. Most people avoided it. Some pretended it wasn’t their responsibility. Ayaan didn’t announce himself. He didn’t seek attention. He simply started working. Late nights. Mistakes. Corrections. Learning. There were moments he wanted to quit. Moments when fear whispered, “You’re not ready.” But he answered back, “I’ll learn.” Slowly, the problem began to disappear. Not perfectly—but steadily. People noticed, quietly. One afternoon, his manager called him into the office. Ayaan expected criticism. Instead, he heard a question that stunned him: “Where did you learn all this?” Ayaan paused. How could he explain years of silent effort? How could he explain working when no one cared? He simply replied, “I kept going.” That moment didn’t change his life overnight. He didn’t become famous. He didn’t suddenly become successful. But it changed something far more important. His belief in himself. For the first time, Ayaan understood that life doesn’t always reward effort immediately. Sometimes, it watches. It watches who continues without praise. Who improves without recognition. Who grows in silence. Years later, Ayaan looked back at the version of himself who almost quit. The man who felt invisible. The man who thought no one was watching. And he smiled. Because he finally understood the truth: Life was always watching. Not to judge. Not to rush. But to see if he would keep going when it was hardest. The world doesn’t reward those who only work when they’re seen. It rewards those who build strength in silence. And sometimes, the moment that changes everything doesn’t come with applause. It comes quietly. After patience. After effort. After consistency. That is when everything finally begins to change. Final Message Keep going—even when no one is watching. Especially then.
By Inayat khan5 days ago in Motivation
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