Morose, yet Hopeful

At times I feel so morose, stuck in my mind or stuck in an emotional place that is far from ideal. It feels like a cloud hanging over me, or rather that I myself am that dark cloud. I know this condition to be temporary because even the heaviest of clouds eventually evaporate, but still I feel weighed down. How does one become relieved of this condition?

I write, & I feel sunlight coming through. The cloud has rained, and the fruit of my sadness are these here words.

The emotional condition is just as I mentioned before: temporary, elusive, real and at the same time a fallacy. How can that be? This is but one mystery of our human condition.

I don’t think I know the answer as to why emotions carry weight; I can only feel my own and feel the difference once they have been released. Released through these words, released through movement, released through varied means of expression. Dance, exercise, poetry, painting, crying, laughing; I’m not sure it really matters, so much as we allow ourselves that release.

I am grateful because in my sadness, rather in expressing my temporary condition of sadness, I find freedom and purpose. I find that I am not alone in my feelings, that others too bear the same weight, and that if we can talk about it we can find respite, can find solace to our miseries.

To what extent is our sorrow self-imposed? To what extent is it a reaction to unnatural living? To live in a city is just that, physically unnatural; and yet this is many of our collective condition, to live in an unnatural state. Thus, the journey is to find oneself amidst the illusions of the age, amidst the fallacy that is society. A ruse we have created for our own containment; for our own sense of security. Society could never bring an end to the troubled conditions of man, because the very nature of society asks us to diminish the essence of our natural being. How then do we proceed?

I believe we proceed by being honest with ourselves about these feelings we carry. I believe we must speak to one another of the injustices we partake in and fall victim to. I believe we must come to terms with our journeys of personal development, and recognize that the work is never truly finished, but a constant constructive process.

The year we step into is 2021. Some say we are now in the Age of Aquarius, meaning that the reality we inhabit will be subject to various changes. The only way to cope, in my view, is to continue to discuss the nature of this reality. To dissect, assess, and reframe, so that we may come to new understandings about the systems and structures we occupy.

My deepest intuition tells me that we will not fall completely to ruin. I believe the collective human spirit too strong to allow such a thing. Still, we have difficult times ahead.

It is in one’s best interest to develop soundness of mind, soundness of heart, soundness of spirit. A collected mind & compassionate spirit is timelessly valuable, though we are not always led to believe so. A strong will combined with these qualities is the most dangerous thing to our present status quo, but the most necessary to bring in the new social age we desperately need.

I feel the youth seeks these qualities for the enrichment of the soul. If you’re not “woke”, it means you ascribe to willful ignorance, a condition far from socially desirable. We must then come to terms with what to do once we have become “woke”.

The most important thing at this point is to assess the quality of one’s experiences. Ask the “why”; why am I using this platform, why do I seek this kind of clothing, why do I enjoy that type of music?

There is no objective right or wrong way to live. There is objectively no criteria for sound living, only the subjective experience and subjective suggestions for how one ought to live. Give and take what resonates with you at the soul level, at an intuitive level. Step outside of your comfort zone, ask difficult questions, & rest with what speaks to you. Don’t be afraid to let go of all that was once known, be willing to embrace new perspectives.

This world is changing, and so are we. It’s a blessing to perceive it, and a blessing to live through it. This cloud that was over my head at the beginning of this paper is now gone; I am no longer feeling morose, & instead the light shines through me.

Thank you for reading.