March to the beat of your drum.

I started in 2021 with a challenge unlike any I have had before in 29 years. In the short time since, I have had to learn to redo all of the regular activities that brought meaning to my day, and I have to give up those that were not feasible, such as toting around open containers of my favorite snacks. Giving up my regular commute to the fridge and work vending machines has shaved off a few pounds, but giving up my dog walks took a heavy toll on my relationship with my pup. What I have traded off in loss of some independence I have learned to substitute with mindfulness, however. I fractured my left 5th metatarsal and am now bound to a crutch and boot for some time this year. The doctor described it as a “funny ho-ho ha-ha” kind of fracture that he’d like to heal noninvasively. While the road to recovery is still early in its stages, and I may be moving considerably slower than what I have been used to, I am resolved to modify my expectations not to be put down by this challenge and grow as I learn to navigate this new form.

From the moment of the injury, I knew I had to set the tone for not letting this injury dictate how I lived. I may have been victim to the physical damage, but my spirit was unchanged and, therefore, ready to step up in ways I never knew I could summon. I hopped my way around from clinic to clinic, at first very stubbornly and overly ambitious to the depth of the injury. Now I crutch around my day, deliberately and with purpose. I cover my boot in the rain and shower, I kick around the laundry basket and drag a stool to do the dishes and cook. I haul a camelback for water and a backpack for my daily essentials at work. As if it weren’t enough of a challenge, this January in California turned out in the rain and snow to humble and grace me with a muddy fall. But I found strength in my resolve to my routine and my support system beyond these crutches.

In this short time, I have learned patience and gentleness with my limitations, the extra work my right foot has taken has not gone unnoticed, the vocal pain from impact-on-impact screams at me from time to time. In this pain and patience, I have found precious jewels such as 30 minutes to do dishes that before I felt like I had only five minutes because the compelling show I’d be watching simultaneously demanded 25 for itself. I’ve been able to find that extra time I would have searched weeks to get to work earlier. By finding spare time for my outdoor walks, I have increased my stamina on the crutches, and my nimbleness on them makes them quite entertaining. I have felt the importance of a routine by experiencing the withdrawal of not performing those simple habits that made my day worthwhile. I have detoxed myself of those habits I could do without knowing now that there is no consequence to their absence.

I have a fraction of some of the frustrations others endure with more permanent or extending handicaps. I have learned the importance of advocating for this community. I have learned that while handicaps force individuals to modify, in odd ways to the broader population, how to do essential tasks, it does not force out our internal pursuit for success and self-efficacy, which are influential to our happiness.

I have grown to appreciate my support system, my spouse, who tolerates a slower pace and stubbornness to help out with chores. My family and friends who exhibit the same patience and welcome laughs with me about the situation. The medical staff treated me despite every technical obstacle thrown at them (I work with them, so I knew what was going on). I invite others to challenge themselves to have patience and be mindful of themselves. To realize that perhaps the obstacles and deadlines we face may need a second look, we might find the block is more manageable with a slower approach or that we set a pre-deadline that could be pushed back and allow us to focus on a more present challenge. I challenge you all to march to the beat of your drum, the one you were born with and will have until the moment we pass; it is our internal drum, you know the one. Follow your heart, dear readers, thank you.