Living With An Illness

Living with an illness that many doctors know nothing about is very overwhelming and very tiresome. I have been through lifetime of nightmares with this illness and have had so good times just from having this illness. Living without support that you need and not being able to work or do as you please, stresses a person out beyond relief sometimes. I have struggled with keeping jobs and staying healthy enough to keep a job. People tend to treat you different and some show sympathy when they think your not capable of handling yourself. I don't want sympathy, I want advise on how to live with this illness without dying or without a job to support my children. I have to teach myself and have the agility and power to accept the changes around me. I must remember that the more I push myself the worse It be for me. I have to learn that by not taking care of my health will result in me losing my life again and again because the next time may not be so sweet. Some of us are lucky to be able to do normal things with normal activities and some of us are not. I stayed my whole childhood in a children's hospital and it would sometimes last for weeks or months at a time. Now that I am older, I can control my pain better and try and take care of my children but most of the time they are taking care of me. The thing that I hate the most about doctors are the question some of them ask, "How Long Have You Had the Disease?". The most hurtful and dumb founded question in the world and you call yourself a Hematologist Oncology doctor. I be so ashamed to tell someone that I have this disease because with it there are so many problems and weakness that come with it. When finding ways to control my pain at home , I do problem solving techniques to find a solution to control myself and prevent myself from going to the doctors that I can afford. They keep giving me the wrong medication which a few times has caused me to die under their care and watch. I records clearly indicate that I am high risk patient with a history of allergies to some medication and medical supplies. Most of them don't won't to hear that, they just want your money that you will be spending on all the medical equipment and supplies that they have to use. Living with this illness have taught me so many lessons and why people are not there to help you when time is needed. It is a huge burden on us and those that have to care for us when we are to sick and down and can't move. Some days I wish I could make a cure that wouldn't cost a billion dollars to cure us all or just temporarily cures us. We have a lifespan of 40 years but I have witnessed a few to live past the age of 60, they said we can't bare children but I have 2, sister have 3 and some have up to 6 children. They say we can't work but their are many with jobs and I have had 2 my entire life. We just living for the moment and I know that I am ready and prepared for this day to come because I have been there before and now I know what to do and what to expect. I will leave footprints wherever I go.