Lightbulb Moment

Lightbulb Moment

(Excerpt from my forthcoming book SOUL SEARCH'N)

By defining D.A.D. I came to the realization that many people have a form of narcissism; judges, doctors, lawyers, politicians, celebrities, etc. I believe there is a little part of all of us who wants to be the center of attention; who wants to be in control. But even if it’s not narcissism we posses, perhaps, it’s egotism and the mentality that the world revolves around us; that’s the Damon in me, perhaps, in all of us. It’s an all about me attitude to the detriment of everyone around you. A deep selfishness that doesn’t know any other way to exist.

I have realized that all people have a Damon in them like I do and we have all been, at some point in time, stuck in an adolescent phase of development and have not matured into actual adulthood. I think we all get stuck in different phases in our lives at different times in our lives. Most adults don’t ever realize that they never made it to adulthood which is why so many so-called adult relationships don’t work out. An adult dating an adolescent is just wrong. Adults know how to apologize when they are wrong and take responsibility for their actions but adolescents and children don’t.

We also have an Angel in all of us; the child phase of development, the phase we revert back to before we die. A child looks up to anyone who’s older. An adult and an adolescent can control a child which is why an adult child in a relationship with an adult or adolescent adult never works. Here’s an example: my ex-husband thought he would be able to “mold” me into who he wanted me to be because at the time I was with him I was still in my Angel phase. But, I, eventually, grew into my adolescent phase, my Damon phase, and moved on. I didn’t like to be controlled. Adolescents like to control and be in control of others which is why he thought he could control and “mold” me. However, they also need guidance which is why a lot of adolescent adults seek out adults in relationships; the father figure or the mother figure they never had or are in search of. But once the adolescent adult grows into adulthood that adult is no longer needed and the relationship fails.

Since most adults never make it to adulthood most don’t realize that they are not actually dealing with, for example, their adult parents or friends. They are actually dealing with an adult who is more like a child or adolescent teen. So, I have realized, now, that I was never living with an adult mother but was actually living with an adolescent mother and have been all my life. I see so clearly, now, the problem with her having to take care of her aging and ailing mother who was in her child phase of life before she passed away. It was like putting an eleven year old adolescent, my mother, in charge of a three year old child, her mother.

By defining the part of me that I call Damon I have realized that I have just defined the majority of adults in America, if not the world. How depressing! No wonder society is so messed up. It’s being run by a bunch of spoiled adolescent adults! Now, I see, that just because you make it to become an adult doesn’t mean you make it to adulthood!