Family Is Not Always Blood Relative

I am a massive advocate for spending quality time with one's family, and relishing in every moment with them, as family is undoubtedly one of the most precious blessings to have in life. One thing I have really learned in life though, over the past 12 months, is that family is not always blood relative. We can look in the dictionary to see that family is defined as being "all the descendants of a common ancestor", but in reality, to most people worldwide, family isn't defined by definition, it is defined by love. Although I wasn't personally raised as an adopted child, I'm sure many individuals who were indeed adopted, can agree with the fact that the parents who raised them, are considered to be true family, even though they are not blood related. Why? Because it was these certain people who took on board those adopted individuals born into a broken family, or who were given up, or who were abandoned, or whose birth mother was unfortunately incapable of providing a quality life desired for their child, and they accepted the responsibility to love, care, support, raise, educate, and nurture these children into their adult years. Irrespective of color, race, or religion, it took the act of love to bring in an unknown child into their household, raising them as their own, and accepting the responsibility of caring for them, to help them grow, develop, thrive, and succeed in life. That's love as it finest! When we think about family not always being blood relative, we naturally think of adoption as that classic example, but it extends further than this. As I mentioned above, I wasn't raised by adopted parents, but I have begun to see that being blood related doesn't guarantee you the love, support, care, and encouragement that we come to expect from our family. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't have asked for better parents, as they were fantastic in the way they raised me, and I will forever be grateful for everything they ever did for me, and provided me with. I miss them both dearly, and no words can express how much I wish they were both still alive. What I am talking about includes extended family, or anyone else to whom which we are blood related.

I mentioned the key word to family is "love". I don't know about you, but to me, family are those who show true love, care, compassion, support, help, and encouragement. The thing is, love is proven by actions, not words! It's easy to say to your siblings, your uncles, your aunts, your grandparents, your cousins, even your friends, the words of "I love you", "I care for you", and "I'm worried about you", but how easy is it to say anything to someone, and not even really mean it? Most of us indeed do commit this act of lying to others, because we don't want to hurt them, we don't want to admit the truth, we don't want to incite disagreement or conflict, we don't want to be disliked, and we don't want to viewed in a bad light. We say one thing to people's faces, and yet go ahead and criticize and gossip about them behind their back. When it comes to what we perhaps say to other family members, or what other family members may say to us, the words can so often be spoken more so out of obligation rather than sincerity. Because they are family, people feel this obligation to communicate like they do love them, care for them, and support them, yet nothing they ever do really supports such sentiments. I have not hidden away from the fact that from December last year, through until April this year, was undoubtedly the toughest period of my entire life. I was at the lowest of lows. It was even more challenging with the fact that all my family live interstate, and I had no one around me whatsoever, to whom I could turn to, and find comfort in. When I needed my family the most though, they went missing, even though they were fully aware of what I was going through! In fact, the only thing I received from them was criticism. From my entire extended family, I received just one phone call in that five month period. No texts, no Facebook messages, nothing but one phone call! It was here I really started to understand that words hold no substance, and that when you're in times of desperate need, many of those people who say they love and care for you, will actually distance themselves from you instead. That's not what true family would do!

I mentioned that this toughest period of my life ended in April, yet the funny thing is I am still going through an extremely challenging and anxious time right now. The difference between how I felt a few months ago, to how I am feeling now though, is family. Now I am not talking about my blood family, I'm talking about adopted family. No, I haven't been adopted by two new parents, at the ripe old age of 43, I am talking about a group of people who have basically opened their arms to me, and proven they genuinely love and care for me, demonstrated through their actions. These people are genuinely concerned for my welfare, my mental health, my wellbeing, and my future. They continually check in with me to see how I am, how circumstances are going, and where they can offer their support. I have been invited over for dinner, I have been embraced, I have been prayed for, and I have been included in various activities. For the first time in a long time, I have actually rediscovered what it's like to have family again. I've known these people for no more than two months, and they are treating me like they have known me forever. As hard as it may be, sometimes we just need to accept that our blood relatives will not be there for us, nor love and support us, when we believe they would. Take comfort in the fact that there are other people in this world who will genuinely love, care, support, and uplift you, which will be evident in their actions, not their words. It's these people who are your true family in life, despite not being related to you. Perhaps these words are a wake up call to you personally also, on the flip side of things, that you haven't proven to be the genuine loving, caring, supportive, and uplifting family member that you really should be, evident by your own actions? At the end of the day, there are many genuinely loving, caring, compassionate, generous, kind, supportive, uplifting, and encouraging individuals in the world, and if they can't be found in your blood family, take heart that you can still find them in the community. We should never stop loving, supporting, and caring for our blood family ourselves also, no matter who we are. We all deserve family, and we all deserve love, yet it doesn't take blood relation to receive these blessings in our life!

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