Last year sucked. Do better

Dear Me,

Let's start off by being honest with ourselves babe. Last year was garbage, on fire. No denying that. When you truly stop and think about it though, was it your worst? No. You've had years filled with extreme loss. 365 days of absolute misery and luckily for you, this was not one of them. Did it suck? Holy shit, yes. It was scary, depressing, many a times lonely, even though you have a husband and 3 kids. To suddenly be stripped of your ability to go out and enjoy some quality time with friends. Quailty time with yourself? I know, I know. You had loads of time sitting at home, but did you do anything useful or fulfilling with that time?

I'm going to stop you right there little darlin. No, you pretty much did nothing. You lounged around all mopey and sad about the fact that the entire world was in shambles. You mucked about, enraged with the fact that you JUST NOW are understanding how corrupt your government can be, and how scared you were at the thought of them taking total control of your life. You ate a ton of shotty food. I mean, you're no health nut but, damn girl. You took all that fear and depression, and swallowed it. Laying it to rest on your hips, thighs, tum-tum, and now you could very well take flight with your arms if you tried hard enough. Lucky for you, your personality is generally bubbly and you can laugh about this.

I know the loss of income there, for a while, absolutely massacred any feelings of safety, but it did spark something in you. Something that's been in you for a long time but you've been either to scared or too lazy to actually do. Well b*tch, now's the time! Do it. Now! I'm not just talking for the sake of financial stability. Do better in all aspects of life. That quality time you are always so afraid to take because the idea of spending time on yourself instead of your kids or your husband completely overtakes any joy that might come of it? TAKE IT! Stop worrying about money. Some people are happy in life, the happiest even, with very little. This isn't you.

Now don't go torturing yourself because you like a certain way of life. You like a little extra to spend every now and then. I know your little heart has been burning to travel. Listen to me babe, listen to yourself. Take the damn trip. There are plenty of ways to come by money. Look at what you're doing right now. You are writing a letter to yourself, praying that it is good enough for other people out there so that you might make some extra money to help with bills. Girl, bills will always be there unless you magically win the lottery. Make the money, and take the damn trip babe. And don't feel guilty about it.

I Know you're down about your body as well. We never did get back to our pre baby body, but, um. Hello? You do know you can do that anytime though right? Yes, it's a new year but every time the good Lord blesses you to open up your eyes in the morning, is a new day. A new chance to change. Stope saying " I'll start it Monday. It's going to be a lot celebrations and delicious food, so I'll start doing better after that." Ughhhh you raggedy bitch. Do better. Even if it's just a little change everyday. Instead of waking up at 6:30, wake up at 6:20 and give yourself ten minutes to stretch and breathe. Choose to walk instead of drive. Try an apple in the morning instead of a donut.... or maybe just a smaller donut. You want to get your ass back in shape.

Well like Genie from Aladdin says, "IT CAN BE DONE!" Unfortunately you don't have a genie, but what you do have is determination. You just lost it for a while, but baby, it's back with a vengeance. Honestly, I wish I could give you some more inspiration other than, " I want to look like that again", but truthfully that's just how you feel. You don't want to look like a supermodel. You don't want to look like f*cking wonder woman. You just want to look the way you did when you felt good about yourself, and that's all you need babe. I Know it's hard for us. We are so impatient. We want to run one mile and look like we can run a marathon. Just remember honey, Rome wasn't built in a day. Give yourself time, you'll get there.

As for your job? Pffft, please! You love your job. Being a dental assistant is awesome! The pay? Yeah, we could work on the pay, but hey! We still love what we do. Both of your bosses are amazing. So if we change anything this year with work, let's change your attitude in the mornings. You are a grouchy bitch in the mornings. Why do you have to wake up as edgar from men in black? Stiff, disoriented, walking with a little bit of tilt and just annoyed at the human species? Haha, I'm joking. we aren't quite that bad, but close love. Very close. Well shoot, let's end this letter. Last year sucked, so give yourself a big hug, take a deep breath, eat that very unappetizing spinach and egg salad in front of you, and get your booty back upstairs to work! Look at you, doing better already :)

Love,

Me

P.S. I know it sounds cliche, but smile more. Seriously, you didn't go through braces twice to not show off those straight horse teeth.

P.S.S. Still love your best friend even though after 25 years of friendship she still does not like pumpkin anything and somehow got you to like macha tea. The madness will never end with her.