Lake Walks: A Journey of Healing

Writing, kept me alive during high school. I lived through a traumatic and unconventional childhood and I was already fragile when these challenging years came to be. Penning poetry, and stories, provided me with a powerful outlet for expressing myself. Back then, I constantly said that I would write a book when I grew up.

As the years went by, I tried to write my story down. Unlike poems and fictional pieces, these attempts left me raw and vulnerable. The structure never seemed to be quiet right, as the brain doesn't linearly process trauma. I couldn't seem to find a beginning, or end, to the saga.

I gave up on my book, and my dreams of being a journalist, earning a Masters in Management and Leading Teams instead. But the call of the writer never went away. I'd frequently joked with my husband that I kept going to school because I got to write so many papers.

In October of 2018, I decided to write a book. Not “The Book,” but a novel nonetheless. I concluded that I would walk around the lake near my house everyday for the next year and keep a journal. I thought it would be a tale about what happens when you commit to doing something every day for a whole year. A “Walden’s Pond” kind of pilgrimage.

This meant walking when it was dark, when I was sick, when I was tired, or when it rained (or there was a blizzard). I did well, up until, the first major blizzard hit in December. That’s when I realized that I was insane. My idea became yet another unwritten book in the library of my mind.

Then on August 6 2019, I elected to try again. In my new rendition of the story, I wanted to attach a photo to each day. On this particulate day, I had taken a picture of the sunset and it was stunning. This photo has no filter applied, just honest Montana beauty, shot with my smart phone while I muddled through the emotional soup in my head.

A few moments later, I caught a better shot. I supposed, in order to use both photos for the book, since I had decided on “one photo each day” that I would have to walk around the lake twice. So, I did, and walked 3 miles that day.

My novel originally started as a record of the mental changes that take place when you commit to doing a task, such as meditation, or walking, in nature every day.

I have walked through storms, both figuratively and literally, while the lightning crashed around me.

I have dredged through the puddles and muddy paths. I've shivered in below zero weather, while plodding through inches of snow. Every impediment turned into an awareness of my trauma. The works I have written, read similar to how I always believed, “The Book” would.

No longer am I content to live as the abandoned, and abused, daughter who managed to survive and be normal. I will be the woman who dauntlessly rose above the obstacles to live a life of purpose, sharing these exceptional stories with others who need hope.

So many life transforming things have happened in the five months since I started walking around the lake. I am writing about my childhood on a public platform. I get paid for these pieces and had to file “royalty income” on my taxes. Like a real writer! I also got a regular freelance writing client and increased my income by $1200 a month. I wrote a short story fiction piece for a contest.

All of these tangible things are exhilarating. However, the most significant change I have noticed is the way I understand things and see the future. I’m encouraged, inspired, and optimistic . I remembered what it feels like to create the destiny you want and not the one people tell you that are destined to live. Following your passions in life is a freeing and altogether noteworthy experience. I dream of accomplishing just that.