Judge Me However You Want!

I don't know whether it's just a maturity thing or what it is, but as we transition from being a young adult, through to our middle aged years, and then to our senior years, we start to care less and less about what others think of us. Well, at least most of us start to care less anyway. We finally begin to understand how insignificant it really is to be so concerned and worried about how others perceive us, or what their opinions are of us. We finally start to tire of constantly trying to please others, and we start to realize that having concerned ourselves about what others think of us, for so long, has only ever brought us unhappiness, and drawn us away from creating the life that we desired. Sadly, for most people, so long had been their concern to please others, to be liked, to be respected, to be accepted, and to be admired, that a huge portion of their life has passed them by. Although it's never too late in life to start pursuing one's goals, age does become a factor in some regards, as we become a little more limited in what we can do. We become a little less agile, productive, and energetic, as age slowly begins to take its toll on our body. Not only that, but we can't disregard the fact that achieving significant goals naturally takes time also, often several years. So when we put this into clear perspective, if we discover in our middle to latter years that pleasing other people, being concerned about what others think of us, being worried how others perceive us, and being so focused on having others like and accept us, is in fact detrimental to our happiness, wellbeing, and the pursuit of our goals, we have likely just wasted half of our life away, even more, being unhappy and unfulfilled. The question has to be asked, why does it take so many of us so long to finally realize this?

Considering we are surrounded by people every day, the last thing we would want is for people to dislike us, to disrespect us, and to reject us. It's never much fun to be disliked, unloved, and even hated. The problem is that far too many of us are infatuated with the need to be liked, respected, admired, and accepted by others. Truth be told that we literally go out of our way to ensure that we are indeed liked, accepted, and so forth. We do this by believing the same information as what the majority of other people believe, even if we don't necessarily believe it to be truth or fact, within our heart. We behave like most other people behave, even if this is abnormal to us personally. We make decisions in line with what most other people decide on, even if we don't personally agree with them deep down. We talk like most other people talk, such as using constant profanity, in a bid to look "cool". We act however we need to act, even if it is fake and not the person we truly are, in order to impress others. We turn away from pursuing our goals and our dreams, if it means that we can avoid being judged, ridiculed, and criticized by others. We agree with others where needed, if it means avoiding confrontation and opposition. In doing all this. and sacrificing the person whom we truly are, we seriously believe this course of action and behaviour will spare us from people disliking us, hating us, judging us, criticizing us, opposing us, and rejecting us. Oh how we are wrong! We could be the most popular, most successful, most wealthiest, and most flawless person in the world, and guaranteed we would still have multitudes of people who would still dislike us, judge us, and criticize us. We cannot please everyone, but in all fairness, we shouldn't be going about trying to please anyone anyway! To be focusing on pleasing others, and be attempting to make others like and admire us, would only indicate that we don't truly have our own best interest at heart. It's proof that we seriously do not give a stuff about the quality of our future, nor our goals, ambitions, and authenticity as a person.

At the ripe old age of 43, I can well and truly say now that I've reached the stage where I really couldn't care less about what people think of me. I can't say I enjoy the feeling of being disliked, rejected, and hated by others, but it no longer bothers me like it once did. There are two facts I've come to realize over these past few years, and what more people actually need to come to realize also. Firstly, is that if you make your own decisions, adopt your own beliefs, behave naturally, and be your true self, then people will judge you, criticize you, dislike you, reject you, defame you, belittle you, and gossip behind your back. Secondly, is that if you make decisions in line with what most others do, follow the beliefs that the majority of society has, behave like most other people do, and be someone who you believe will be accepted and liked, then people will judge you, criticize you, dislike you, reject you, defame you, belittle you, and gossip behind your back. If you didn't spot the difference, then don't dismay, because there is none. It doesn't matter if you do everything within your power to be liked, admired, respected, and accepted, because at the end of the day, people are going to judge you, form an opinion of you, and gossip about you anyway. You may think that people like you, that they respect you, and so on, but guaranteed, they will be going behind your back and gossiping about you, seeking to uncover any negative traits, habits, and characteristics about you. People don't like you for believing what they believe, or acting the way they act, or making decisions along the same line as their decision making! They like you because you are easy to manipulate and influence. They like you because they can easily mould you into someone who is of convenience and benefit to them. They like you because, to them, you resemble a door mat, and something that can easily be walked over. It's these very same people that if you dare oppose their decision making, beliefs, views, opinions, values, and behaviours, they will become extremely narky and defensive. They will throw the guilt treatment at you, criticize you, label you as being foolish, belittle you, and play the victim, not because they necessarily dislike you, but for the fact they understand they don't have that manipulative power over you. For some reason, this sort of confrontation and disagreement drives fear into so many people. They don't want to face that feeling of people not liking them, and having to confront them only to be criticized and belittled. People love to hide in that little safe space, where they can avoid confrontation and difference of opinion, even if it means sacrificing their true selves in the process.

We are always going to have the haters, whether we believe that or not, but our role is not to be pleasing people in life, only to be helping, supporting, encouraging, inspiring, and uplifting them. We should never sacrifice our values, our beliefs, our morals, our character, and our personality, just to please others! How many years do you want to waste away playing the game of pleasing others, and bowing to society's every wish? Be yourself! Follow your goals in life, and create a future blessed with happiness, success, and prosperity! This will mean you will have to make decisions and engage in actions that are uncommon to society. You only need to look around and take note of the number of people who are unhappy, unsuccessful, unfulfilled, and financially battling in life, and marry it up to the fact they are living their life exactly in line to how the majority of others live their life. The wealthy, the successful, and the happy people of the world have chosen to be different to society. They draw their own conclusions, they remain steadfast in their beliefs, they take risks, and they make decisions that they believe are creating a pathway to achieving their goals, irrespective of who opposes them and their journey, and irrespective of whether people are judging them or not. The simple fact is this, you have one of two choices. One, is that you live your life pleasing others, or two, you live your life pleasing yourself. There is no in between, nor third option, it's one or the other. You cannot achieve your goals and genuine success if you live your life pleasing others. It just does not work! Never be ashamed of making decisions that are in your best interest, and that are working towards creating a future blessed with success, happiness, and prosperity, because this is your life! This doesn't mean we should be turning our back on not helping, giving, and supporting others, because this is our purpose in life after all, but we don't want to be making decisions, believing information, forming opinions, and executing actions that are appeasing to them. What matters is that we are creating the life for ourselves that we desire, and if that pisses people off, and they in turn form a negative opinion of us, then who cares? Let people judge you however they want, because they are doing that anyway! Why live an unhappy life by constantly pleasing others and seeking to be liked, when you can live a happy life by chasing your goals, accomplishing success, being your true self, and not giving a crap about what anyone thinks of you?

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