I Choose Myself

They say love can do everything, but no one warns you that some loves break you from the inside out while you, naively, try to hold onto the unholdable. My story doesn’t begin with “we were happy,” but with silences, lost glances, and small warning signs I chose to ignore out of fear of facing a truth that hurt more than the lie I told myself every day: “this will get better.”

I was in a relationship where I slowly stopped laughing. Without realizing it, I started speaking softer, dreaming smaller, asking for less. Convinced that it was “normal” to receive crumbs, I adapted to the neglect with a smile, justifying every absence, enduring every indifference as if it were my responsibility to make him love me.

There were no shouting matches, and maybe that’s why it took me so long to understand that indifference can also be a form of violence. He was physically present, but emotionally he had left long before. I watched him give time, attention, love, and energy… but not to me. Suddenly, any excuse was enough to leave home, to be available for others, while I waited, hopeful, like a child dreaming someone would come back to save her.

It wasn’t until I looked in the mirror one day that I realized no one was coming to rescue me. My eyes had lost their sparkle, dark circles marked my face, my soul was tired from pretending everything was fine. I saw a woman who had postponed herself so much that she no longer recognized who she was. And then, with a clarity that only comes when you hit rock bottom, I asked myself a brutally honest question that hurt: why are you choosing to stay where you are dying inside?

The answer was as harsh as it was liberating: fear.

Fear of what others would say, fear of failing my daughter, fear of being alone, fear of confirming that I had given years of my life to someone who never truly saw me. That’s when I discovered the big lie we’ve been told: staying isn’t always a sign of love; often, staying means abandoning your own dignity.

That day I cried like never before, but I also was reborn. And amid my tears, I repeated a phrase that marked a before and after: TODAY I CHOOSE MYSELF.

The decision wasn’t heroic. I didn’t wake up strong. There were days of doubt, nights of guilt, emotional relapses that made me think about going back just to avoid facing the void. But when a woman decides to choose herself, even if she trembles, doubts, or breaks… something beautiful happens: she stops surviving and starts living.

The process was slow but magical. At first, I didn’t know what to do with my freedom. I felt lost in my own life. But little by little, I began to embrace my solitude, enjoy my own company, remember what made me happy before love became pain. I started walking without rush, listening to music that made me sing, laughing out loud, eating what brought me pleasure, sleeping peacefully. Without realizing it, I was being reborn.

I understood that self-love has nothing to do with ego. Loving MYSELF meant recognizing my value, my boundaries, my dreams. It meant looking in the mirror again and saying: you’re not perfect, but you are valuable. It meant forgiving myself for always putting myself last. It meant taking care of my heart as I take care of others. It meant becoming the woman I needed when I was broken.

Today I can say I speak not from the wound, but from the scar.

And a scar is a beautiful mark of battle: it shows you were in the fire and still survived.

To the women who are going through a relationship that weighs more than it adds, I want to say, from my soul to yours:

Don’t wait for him to change to start living.

Don’t get used to daily sadness just to keep a “partner” title.

Don’t sacrifice your light to fit into a story that’s already over.

Don’t feel guilty for choosing yourself.

Your children don’t need a “perfect family,” they need you happy, free, alive. In the end, we don’t teach with words, we teach with example. If you stay in a place without love, they will learn that sadness is a normal part of love. And you weren’t made for that: you were made to bloom.

Maybe right now it seems impossible. Maybe you think you can’t do it alone. I thought the same. But when I took the first step, even trembling… the universe began opening unexpected paths for me. Life rewards those who choose themselves, who respect themselves, who close chapters with love, even with tears.

Today, from the peace I feel waking up every morning, I can say with certainty: being brave wasn’t staying… it was leaving.

And although it took me time to understand it, today I am grateful for every tear because they brought me to this version of myself: a woman more conscious, stronger, freer, more real.

If you are reading this and your heart beats fast because you recognize yourself in these words… this message is for you. It’s no coincidence. This is your sign. Your moment. Your opportunity to be reborn.

You don’t need to have everything figured out to start. You only need an act of self-love, a “enough,” a “I deserve to be happy too.” No one else will write your story. That task is yours alone.

Today I choose to write mine from love, not fear. Today I choose myself.

Today… it’s time to say: I CHOOSE MYSELF TOO.