I Believe

I Believe Getting Locked Up Set Me Free

“Freedom: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.”

Freedom is what allows people to do as they like and take responsibility for their actions. When they take the freedom from you, you only see hate. People who get locked up, go in and either learn or never do. I was locked in my own life, the living hell I had to endure was all for a purpose. To believe that getting locked up sets me free.

My name is Julio, and I started my journey to this realization, through my life never seeming to work out. I never thought that I could find the will to keep going in a place where I was sent by force. There is no freedom in a place like a group home, but there was salvation for me.

October 28, 2014, was the day I fell hard. I had already been using all sorts of drugs since my freshman year of highschool, but it wasn't until this particular day I screwed up everything. I had a mentor to whom I would go to when things didn't seem to add up. That specific day I was intoxicated. Getting high was my way of escaping all my other problems. I always managed to hold myself down and not say anything just barely passing my days intoxicated. On October 28, I decided to tell my mentor that I was intoxicated and from then on, everything went downhill.

Minutes after telling my mentor he contacted the principal, and I was expelled immediately. I was only intoxicated and I had no drugs on me, so my punishment wasn't as bad. As a condition of returning to school, though, I had to enter a drug rehabilitation program. Because I had all sorts of emotional problems, I began to get in a psychotic mode. I started going crazy to the point that I assumed taking my life would be an easier way out than getting help. I was living with my grandma at the time, and I let her know that I wasn't doing so well. I wasn't in a position to be around people let alone be by myself, so they locked me up in a place to set me straight.

November 11 was the slowest day of my life. I was in the car with my parents, my grandma, and my girlfriend at the time. We were driving to this place where I had to turn myself in. I began to think that moment I set foot in this place my freedom was no longer mine. I was a number in the system and a guy with problems. I remember saying goodbye to everyone I loved the most. I felt so alone at that moment because I was scared. I could not go out to eat ice cream whenever I wanted, I was not going to school, and I was not free.

I was introduced to the man who was doing my process papers, he was a short bald guy. He began to talk about the goal “to fix the youth”. The only thing I could think about was when I was going to get out. Here is the funny thing: a second in this place and I already wanted to get out. He began to tell me about my sentence, he said it would be a maximum of 4 months if I did everything right.

“Four months? What the hell!” These words pressed against my brain.That seemed like an eternity. It was mid November, and I was going to have to be stuck in this place for all the holidays. I told myself “No.” I had to get out, but there was no escaping this place. I really needed to fix myself before I could function again in society.

After being processed, I walked down to the place where I was going to live. I had to meet the guys I was sharing rooms with. I began to question what these guys were going to be like, look like, and act like. I started picturing that I was going to hate every single one of them, but then I met Isaac.

Isaac was telling me that he had been in and out of the system trying to fix his mistakes. He said he always tried to do good but always went back. At this point I began to think about what I would do next to not end up like him. I decided I was going to embrace the fact that I was in here and just do my time. It wasn't easy though not a single damn day.

One month in this place and the Christmas holidays were the worst. I began to get paranoid that I would be stuck in this place forever. It was the same routine everyday. I couldn't handle it anymore so I consulted my case counselor. The only thing she was able to tell me was that there was no way I was going to be let out earlier. Who knew that if you wanted to take your life they would keep you in here longer. Just like everyone else though, we were all alone.

On Christmas night I had to do a speech to motivate the guys. That if everything went well this would be the last Christmas spent here. I felt like a leader, I let everyone know that this was the beginning of something new. The boys cheered me on and we made the best of a bad situation. Then from there I saw that this place wasn't as bad. With all the counseling I did, the help of some of the boys I met. I saw places like these are only there to help you. They taught me to stay sober, love myself and more. Things I wasn't able to do on my own. It's crazy though “Getting locked up sets me free” but I strongly believe that.

I graduated from the program on January 5th 2015 and was there for 3 months. I had this whole rally of boys I spent 3 months with. Fighting the good fight. The ones that dropped me off at this place were also there to see me free. Now you begin to think that at this point I had an idea of why I was put in a place like this but I did not.

Graduating the Program, and having to continue in a clean and sober life lead to seeing everything differently. Now that I was free I could do whatever I wanted. I could even do drugs again. But remembering what i had to go through i said it was not worth going back. My belief that getting locked up set me free came after I got out. When I got out I was involved in so much that I managed to go back to school, get my first 4.0 GPA, be in the Honors Roll, be a PCC student at 17 and more. All my success now is thanks to the help they gave me.Thanks to the belief i found. Getting locked up might have been the worst thing I could have gone through but I learned I was worth living for. I believe that if it wasn't for me getting locked up I would have never been freed from myself. I would still have been in the same place I was a year ago locked up in my own head