How to gain confidence

I, like many people unfortunately, was always made fun of when I was younger. I was never the popular girl and I never felt like I was either. As I got older, it stuck with me. Combined with some bad boyfriends and bad friends who put me down, I never felt confident in myself. I was always the girl in the corner, not wanting to bring attention to myself. My inner voice told me that I wasn't worthy of it, that no one wanted to hear what I had to say. I never put myself really out there, sure that I would be made fun of, and put down.

The first time I was told I was beautiful wasn't until my late 20s. I had met someone online. When we met in person the first thing he said to me was, "Wow, you are really beautiful." I was so shocked that I wasn't even sure what to say. No one had ever told me that before, as sad as that now sounds. It was the first glimpse that maybe I was worthy of love and all that I wanted. That maybe I was beautiful in my own way.

Years later, I became a parent to a beautiful little girl. I never wanted her to doubt that she was worthy of everything that the world had to offer her. I wanted to give her a better life than I had. For her to grow up knowing that she was loved, beautiful and worthy. Every day I tell her that she is special, she is beautiful, she is strong, and she can do anything. Now that she's older I can ask her 'who is the most beautiful girl in the world' and she will answer her name. But even though I was telling her all these things, I knew that deep down I didn't believe it myself. It just started to occur to me that if I really wanted her to believe it, then I had to do it for myself. No matter what you tell children, they will do what you do not what you say. It's funny how becoming a parent can make you want to be better and improve yourself. Not just for them, but for you. It really makes you want to be a good example.

Do gratitude and affirmations every night

I have always kept a journal. I like to really work things out by writing them down. A lot of it is just me talking. Well every night I make sure to write down at least 5 things that I am grateful for as well as some affirmations about myself. When you end your day with something positive, it will change your outlook on things. Such as I am beautiful and worthy of love.

When you look in the mirror, say 1 positive thing first.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, it's easy to see what you want to change or the flaws you think you have. But stop yourself. Being confident is all about your mindset. So make sure you say at least one thing that you like. Everyone has positive things about themselves. It can't be all negative. Of course, we all have some areas that we are working on or just want to be better. But focus on things that you look about yourself. Like my eyes look very pretty today, for example.

Do morning affirmations

Every morning, after I take my normal hot shower to clean myself, I changed the water to cold and take a 5-minute cold shower. I know how crazy that it sounds. But taking a cold shower is actually really good for you. I then pray, and then do my affirmations. I tell myself all the things that I tell my daughter. Such as I am strong, I am beautiful, I can take any challenge that happens today. By starting and ending your daughter will positive things it sets the tone for every day.

Stop negative talk

If you heard your child or a friend say negative things about themselves, like I am ugly, I'm sure you would correct them. Perhaps even get mad that they would think that about themselves. Well, you need to be your own best friend. Stop talking negative about yourself. This will take time, especially if you do it very often. But any time you hear yourself talking negatively at all, correct it. Say something positive right away. If it's not okay for them then why is it okay for you?

Move your body every day

No this is not about losing weight. Just move your body in some way some form. When you work out or move your body throughout the day, it really does make you feel better. It was only once I started working out that I started to be more positive about myself. When you move your body, you will feel better which will help to change your mind.

It's all about your mindset.

You don't have to change your body to be confident. In this world there is a lot of negativity out there. People are always telling you how you should be, what you need to change. Stop listening to everyone else. Who cares what they have to say? Anyone that puts you down is only because they don't care about themselves and want to get you on their level. Don't let them. Being confident is all about your mind.

I really hope that this helps you in some way. It has been a journey for me to get to where I am. I know that I am beautiful in my own way. I can't let other people's opinion put me down or stop me from living my life. That doesn't mean that I don't still have things I want to work on. We are always a work in progress, but you are still worthy wherever you are in life.

-T