Finding passion through misery
Sometimes you have to feel totally lost to be able to restart
When I started thinking about my passions, I really was unsure what I had to say. Why would anyone care what I had to say about anything? But then I realized that so many people have been exactly where I am, some many people are exactly where I am.
It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day struggles of life. Especially after you have kids. After I had my daughter, everything I did was about her and making sure she had a good life. Especially being a single parent I felt like it was all on me, and I had to figure out life for her, which was most important to me. I forgot about myself, my passions, my values and just did whatever I had to in order to provide for her. 3 years later and suddenly the world changed, and nothing would be the same again. When the pandemic first hit, I found myself not working for 2 months for the first time in a long time. I should have taken the time and used it wisely. Though instead I just used it as a vacation. Going back to work was a different world suddenly. Everything seemed harder and more difficult. I felt like I was swirling down and fast. I had to admit that I wasn't okay and that alone was okay. Furthermore, I was under large amounts of stress at work, and it started to bleed into everything other aspect of my life. I had no passion for life anymore. I felt like nothing really made me happy, and I was just surviving. It took me a while to realize that it was time for a change. No one was going to come in and save me. I had to save myself.
I wanted to be able to love my life every day. And I started to really consider what they looked like for me. What brought me passion and happiness? I honestly didn't know the answer. When you have gone so long being unhappy or focusing on yourself, it can be overwhelming to think about. I really started to dream about my life. Visualization is the strongest tool that you can use to really start to think about your dream life. Really think about all the aspects of a regular day, and how you can get there.
I really started to try things, and to do things that I hadn't done in a long time. If you don't know where to start, then just start trying things. The more new things that you try than the more that you can really know what makes you happy, and what you are meant to do. I started to realized that I had to take care of myself, and stand up the values that really matter to me. If I didn't, then I couldn't teach my daughter to do it.
In doing that though, I saw that like so many people I didn't have just one thing that I was passionate about. I loved writing, cooking, trying new things, dancing and working out. I tried to decide what one I wanted to focus on. Especially because all you hear about is find your niche. But I couldn't decide on just one. We are complex people with many strengths and skills and passions. It's rare that someone is only good at and passionate about one thing and one thing only. I couldn't help, but to think how crazy that was. But I couldn't really find a job that did all of them, could I?
Enter YouTube. We were in our third wave, under the latest stay-at-home order. So not going out a lot, I watched a lot of YouTube. I started to realize that I could do this, started to think of ideas for videos. I was so scared at first. No one will want to listen to me, I told myself. But then I heard someone say that, you can't compare yourself to anyone as you have something to offer that no one else does. Why was I holding myself back because of what anyone else might think? I wasn't even sure. So I decided to become a Zumba instructor and took a course. In that course, she said how nervous she was before she started. And I realized that she was exactly where I was, and look at her. I had something to offer, something to say.
So I started my first YouTube channel. It is a little bit of everything, and I am still figuring it out. My goal is to start a second one that will be about Zumba and working out. Knowing that I can help those that are struggling just as much as I was. I would love to be able to do YouTube full time one day. Being able to motivate other people who are just as lost as I was. It would allow me to be able to stay home with my daughter, try new things (which I love to do) and spread my passion to people who need to hear it. No matter what you have to say, know that you have something to say that someone needs to hear. Don't let fear hold you back. Even if nothing really becomes of it, at least I tried. I don't want to look at my daughter one day and tell her that I wanted to do something, but I didn't because I was afraid.
If you feel it is right in your soul, then follow it. When everyone tried something new, they were exactly where you are. You have something to say and you matter.
-T
About the Creator
Talara Nolan
I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.
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How alone are we?
When you feel lonely, alone and depressed, it's easy to not focus on it. I could focus on the day-to-day routine of my life and not have to face the reality of all the things I was feeling. But then the pandemic last year hit and life as we knew it had changed. Nothing was the same from then on. The first lockdown didn't really affect me as much. I was off for a couple of months and went back feeling refreshed and like everything would be okay. The summer however was very tough, and I struggled through most of it. Like I usually do when I find myself in a depression I go into myself. I am a person that doesn't like to share a lot of things with people. So when I am struggling at it, it's hard for me to let anyone in to tell them. Then the second lockdown happened. Somehow it seemed more permanent to me. Being in Canada it is fairly cold in the winter, depending on where you live in this great country. Like many I dislike the cold and so it was the perfect storm of being isolated. As the lockdown continued I would find myself more and more isolated from the world. Days and weeks started blending into each other. It was so easy to lose track of what day of the week it was or what day of the month frankly. I found myself feeling like days and hours were just passing me by. I would very often think at the end of a day, 'what did I even do today'. There are 24 hours in a day, but to me, it could have been 2 hours as I would have gotten the same amount of stuff done.
By Talara Nolan5 years ago in Motivation
“The Words That Could Save a Life: A Story About Advice, Ego, and the Hearts We Forget”
There is an old saying: “A wise person learns from advice. A proud person learns from regret.” This is a story about both. There once was a boy who grew up hearing advice from everyone around him. His parents, teachers, elders, and friends — all of them tried to guide him. They warned him about choosing the wrong friends. They reminded him to respect time. They told him not to let anger, ego, and selfishness poison his heart. But like many of us, he believed he already knew everything. Whenever someone advised him, he smiled politely on the outside — but inside he thought: “I’m different. I’ll be fine. Nothing bad will happen to me.” So he ignored the small warnings of life. He cut off people over small arguments. He shouted instead of listening. He lied to escape responsibility. He chose friends who laughed at rules and mocked wisdom. He stopped spending time with family because he thought they didn’t “understand” him. He thought freedom meant doing whatever he wanted — without consequences. But life is patient. And life always teaches — one way or another. Slowly, he began losing the people who once stood closest to him. His best friend moved away after a fight that was never healed. His parents stopped advising him — not because they didn’t care, but because their hearts were tired. His teachers gave up correcting him because he rejected every word. From the outside, his life looked normal. But inside, something was missing — peace. One night, he finally sat alone in silence… and silence can be loud. Thoughts began replaying in his mind like a film. He remembered every moment someone tried to guide him. Every warning. Every soft reminder. Every gentle voice that said, “This path will hurt you.” And for the first time, he asked himself: “Why didn’t I listen?” It wasn’t lack of knowledge. It wasn’t lack of love. It was ego. Ego had whispered inside him: “You don’t need advice. You’re always right. You’re smarter than them.” But ego is a beautiful liar. It makes you feel strong while quietly destroying your relationships, your discipline, and your peace. That night, he realized something powerful: Wisdom doesn’t come from age. Wisdom comes from humility — the ability to listen. The next day, he did something difficult — something most people never do. He apologized. He apologized to his parents, not because they demanded it, but because his heart finally understood their worry. He apologized to friends he had hurt. He apologized to himself — for not valuing his own future. And slowly… life softened again. His parents’ voices became warm again. His friendships began to heal. His mind felt lighter. He started listening before reacting. He didn’t change overnight — but he had finally begun the journey. He changed not because the world forced him — but because advice finally reached his heart. That day, he promised himself: 🕊️ “Whenever someone gives me sincere advice, I will not fight it. I will think about it. I will learn from it.” Because the truth is simple: The people who advise you are not trying to control you. They are trying to protect the version of you that you have not yet become. And one more truth: Advice always arrives before regret. Regret arrives when advice is ignored. Moral / Life Lesson • Advice is not a restriction — it is protection. • Ego is the biggest enemy of growth. • Listening is not weakness — it is wisdom. • The people who correct you are the people who care. One day, you will look back and realize: The words you once ignored… were the very words that could have saved you. So when life sends you guidance — through parents, teachers, faith, friends, or even strangers — don’t shut your heart. Because the doors of wisdom only open… for those willing to listen.
By Shahab Khan6 days ago in Motivation
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