How I Finally Got My Brain to Work With Me, Not Against Me
A personal journey from mental resistance to sustainable productivity
There’s nothing more frustrating than knowing what you should do… and not being able to do it. For the longest time, that was me. I had the tools, the lists, the goals. I even had ambition. But something always stood in the way. That something? My own brain.
I thought I was lazy. Or broken. Or just not cut out for success. But over time, I realized something important: my brain wasn’t the enemy. It was trying to protect me—from burnout, from failure, from the fear of trying and not being good enough. The real issue was that I had never learned how to work with my mind. I only tried to force it into someone else’s mold.
This is how I finally got my brain to stop sabotaging me—and start helping me instead.
1. I Stopped Trying to “Force Focus”
You know that feeling when you sit down to study or work and your brain just… refuses? Like you’re staring at the page but reading nothing? I used to try to push through. “Just focus!” I’d yell at myself. That didn’t work. Ever.
Eventually, I realized that focus isn’t a button you can smash—it’s a state you ease into. I started giving myself time to warm up. Five minutes of freewriting. A quick review of what I did last time. Playing calm background music. Basically, I created a gentle “on-ramp” into focus instead of expecting instant productivity.
2. I Replaced Shame With Curiosity
When I procrastinated, I’d beat myself up. “You’re wasting time again. What’s wrong with you?” But shame isn’t a good motivator. It just made me anxious and avoided things more.
So, I started asking myself why I was procrastinating. Was I tired? Was I overwhelmed? Was the task unclear or intimidating? Nine times out of ten, there was a reason behind the resistance. Once I identified it, I could address it. Tired? Take a nap. Overwhelmed? Break it into smaller parts. Confused? Ask for help or look up an example. Curiosity gave me tools. Shame just shut me down.
3. I Created a Routine That Respected My Energy, Not Just My Time
Productivity advice often talks about time—using planners, calendars, timers. That’s useful, but I learned that time doesn’t matter if I have zero energy during that time block.
So I started tracking when I naturally felt most alert. For me, that’s late morning and early evening. That’s when I now do my deep work—studying, writing, brainstorming. I leave low-energy tasks (like email, chores, or review) for the afternoon slump. This one switch made me so much more efficient.
It wasn’t about working more. It was about working when my brain was actually awake.
4. I Let Myself Work “Messy” at First
Perfectionism is sneaky. I didn’t realize how much it was sabotaging me. I’d avoid starting something just because I couldn’t make it perfect on the first try. But I finally accepted that messy beginnings are normal.
Now, I let my first drafts be ugly. I let my notes be chaotic. I give myself permission to just start, even if it’s clunky. The magic happens in the revision, not the beginning. Once I stopped trying to impress myself with perfect productivity, I actually got more done.
5. I Found My “Why” and Wrote It Down
Motivation comes and goes. But when I was completely disconnected from why I was doing something, it was almost impossible to start.
So I got specific. I wrote out my “why” for each big goal: why I wanted to pass that exam, or finish that project, or build that skill. Sometimes it was emotional—like wanting to make my family proud. Sometimes it was practical—like landing a better job. But having that reminder kept me going on the hard days.
My brain needed a reason. I had to give it one.
6. I Stopped Comparing Myself to Robots (or Instagram)
This one is huge. I used to feel awful because I couldn’t study for 8 hours straight like those “study vloggers” online, or wake up at 5 a.m. and immediately journal, meditate, and run a mile.
But then I remembered: I’m not a machine. I’m a human being, with emotions, distractions, highs and lows. My brain is unique. My pace is my own. And the moment I stopped comparing myself to unrealistic examples, I started feeling proud of the small wins I was achieving every day.
7. I Gave Myself Credit
Before, even when I did accomplish something, I brushed it off. “That wasn’t enough.” I never felt good enough. But now? I celebrate progress, not perfection.
If I did 30 minutes of focused work, I count it as a win. If I showed up to a hard task even when I didn’t feel like it, I acknowledge that. I keep a simple “done list” instead of just a to-do list, to remind myself how far I’ve come.
Because my brain responds better to encouragement than to criticism.
Final Thoughts
My brain still doesn’t always cooperate. I still procrastinate. I still have off days. But the difference is, I’m not fighting myself anymore. I’m working with myself.
Getting my brain to work with me didn’t come from forcing discipline. It came from understanding myself—what I need, what I fear, and what drives me. I stopped trying to change who I was, and started building systems around who I am.
If you’re struggling with your brain, trust me—I get it. But you’re not broken. You’re just human. And that’s not a flaw. It’s the beginning of learning how to thrive.
About the Creator
Engr Bilal
Writer, dreamer, and storyteller. Sharing stories that explore life, love, and the little moments that shape us. Words are my way of connecting hearts.
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