I am lying on the ground. I feel a throbbing pain in the back of my head. I taste blood in my mouth. “Jessica." "Jessica.” I bat my eyes open. There are several people in my room; most of them are paramedics. I ask, “What is going on?” “You had a seizure,” said my mom. I had no idea what that meant at that moment, but it was serious enough for the paramedics to load me up onto the gurney and put me in the ambulance. That is when my heart started beating faster.
The ambulance ride drove smoothly to the hospital. I got out and went straight to testing for everything. At this point, I felt terrified. I thought I had a brain tumor and that all of those years watching T.V. too closely had caught up to me. As my parents and I waited anxiously for the results, one of the pastors from the church we were going to came to see me in the hospital. Once my mom saw her, she bawled like a baby. I believed in God, but I did not consider myself a Christian like my parents at this point in my life, but I loved the pastor. She asked how I was doing and prayed for me. She comforted my parents and me because we needed it at that moment. Eventually, the results came back, and everything turned out normal. The emergency room doctor recommended I see a neurologist as soon as possible. My parents and I went to see a neurologist. He said as long as I did not have another seizure, I would be okay.
I cannot keep my eyes open. I need to lay down...just for… one…minute…. where am I? What happened? Why am I on the other side of my bedroom? My body shakes as my dad held me up and said, 'You had another seizure." The second seizure was worse than the first because I had horrible amnesia. I went back to the neurologist. He confirmed with testing that I had epilepsy. The scariest thing about epilepsy is that you can die from a seizure at any moment. Every time I had a seizure, all I saw was black. I felt scared because I believed is that all that I see? Is there more out there? Is it because I do not believe in anything or anyone?
I am running in the pouring rain. The bag of clothes in my hands is drenched in water, hanging like a lantern. I am drenched and my feet land in puddles going splish splash. I am running from my problems. A couple of weeks ago, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. My parents and I were terrified of my diagnosis. My parents thought I was dying the first time I had a seizure. My life hung in the balance of a pill; I don't have too much confidence in it. The side effects of the medication are also affecting me at school and in my personal life. I am trying to make up for the mistakes I made in my personal life by running and bringing their clothes back to my friend. Then it started to thunder. I couldn't go any further. I thought, "God if You are real, make things better for me." Someone said, "I will." I turn around and saw no one behind me. A lightbulb went off in my head; a smile lit up my face as I ran home in the rain.
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Jessica Nicely
Jessica Nicely Aspiring Christian author Follow me on IG @hopethroughthedark
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The Hustle Trap: How Chasing Success Is Quietly Stealing Your Happiness
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By Hazrat Usman Usman7 days ago in Motivation
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