HOPE

Setting the mood... Got my Lucky Charms, Spotify Music and about to type away on my laptop.

Good morning ya'll!

Currently ran across this photo (and will provide many background stories to my photographs in the future) and felt my heart melt and be touched a little bit.

This photo is absolutely the most important photo I have captured in my life. I am reminded of this particular day. This day was when I asked for "help," I asked for "strength," and I asked " what can I do to change my life," "how can I be better, myself AND others around me?"

I dealt with many demons and battles in my life.

This is a vulnerable post.

I believe vulnerability is very important.

We all want to show courage, strength and power.

We don't want to show weakness, sadness, or our demons we battle with.

What I realized is though, being vulnerable of your feelings about your horrible past, bad experiences, flaws and struggles, IS being courageous, strong and powerful!

You are playing on the cards on the table and that is not only courage but bringing honesty. Bringing your true self on the table for the other person to listen, gather information and understand.

I feel people don't do this because of rejection, judgement, bad experiences in past and insecurities. Everything takes time to heal. When someone has gone through trauma, and have all these struggles, we need compassion, a lot of patience and understanding.

We need to have open hearts. We need to be supportive, loving and compassionate towards anyone that is stepping forward providing their deepest struggles, secrets, traumas that they experience in their lives, and sharing it you.

We, (myself included) don't always look for sympathy, we always look for people to LISTEN.

Being that is Suicide Prevention Month, I want to reach out to everyone and tell the ones that are in this darkness, I am stepping forward to say, "I have been there."

I have been through this road myself....

You are NOT weak. You are NOT alone. You are NOT dumb. You are Not crazy. There is nothing wrong with you.

You are BEAUTIFUL. You are BRAVE. You are an AMAZING person. You ARE strong.

Please be AWARE. Please BE THERE. Please be AVAILABLE. Please give that ATTENTION. Please SUPPORT....Please be SAFE....

Be there for the ones that vent and have taken the courage to step forward and confide in you...

I know how dark it can be... I scared myself... I have breakdowns...meltdowns...felt hopeless...had a few near death experiences and some trauma....

I can't it to myself and eventually I was gone. I lost myself. I literally felt drained. I was wearing a "happy mask." I didn't realize that the mask was fading away and revealing to everyone around me how I TRULY felt. I was embarrassed to ask for help.

It is tricky and hard. There is fine line of harassing or giving them space. But here is what helped [for me personally], when a friend constantly reached out to get out the house, [even when I didn't feel like it], and join events, if they were vulnerable too, it opened some doors for me to put a card, now and then on the table, whenever I felt like taking my slow, baby steps. I was always afraid that I was a burden, rejection, judgement or bad reactions.

Being "gone," "lost" and having daily struggles, negative, and suicide thoughts, it is the most real, scary, hard thing to EVER go through! You can't imagine unless you have experienced that dark place. When you are "gone," you have a lot of numbing, "zombie-feeling," and "watching yourself feeling."

It takes that 1 person to take the initiative, reach out to you, or help you through this dark experience. We are NOT "attention seekers." We do NOT want "sympathy." We are NOT "baggage." We are NOT a "burden."

We want someone in our life. We want someone to talk to, even then, when you say you "Keep your head up," "Hey! smile!" " Everything will be okay," "You can always talk to me," "I am always here for you." [ I am guilty of that.]

Sometimes those words are not enough when you have so many demons you are dealing with on your own or when you are so lost, so gone, that it really isn't enough.

Please, please, PLEASE....

I encourage you all to take that EXTRA STEP. Take EXTRA TIME. Take EXTRA CARE of people that are in this battle. It is the most scariest thing to go through in your life. You are your worst enemy and worst critic.

What helped me on my personal experience in the end, was that I found God again.

I was surrounded myself with people that support me, cut off people who was against me or have done wrong to me, did not worry about the "numbers of followers or likes," cut off any negativity, taking notes in my church journal, writing in my own personal journal, cut alcohol, cut smoking and drugs. Be involved with the community, help others in need or have any open heart for a stranger who seems in trouble, have OPENNESS and a CHANGED HEART.

BE VULNERABLE!

Know that you are NOT A BURDEN TO ANYONE, Reach out to your closest friends or to someone that you feel you have a full hearted TRUST with them.

When I look at this picture, yes it is flashback of my weakness, but this was a supernatural work of art painted on the skies. They used their paintbrushes in the skies to created this sunset for me in my darkest day when I survived.

This sunset is "HOPE."

I have it in my home. It is printed out and on display as my home decor.

Everyone always compliment and admire it.

This photo, I look at every day when I wake up. Its my reminder to myself that not only that symbolizes "hope," it is also a reminder that I am a FIGHTER.

I was blessed to overcome this challenge in my life.

My advice and encouragement to other during your battles and struggles,

Be vulnerable. I can't stress this enough!

Help for others in your community or the people you love. Giving to someone and seeing the impact that you have on them is VERY REWARDING! BE ACTIVE! Be in a fitness group classes online or go outside on a neighborhood walk, Go to the outdoors! Studies say 5min. in the outdoors with nature can actually change your mood and make you feel SO MUCH BETTER! Go to the beach, bays and lakes! Having that "freshness" smell of the water or taking off your shoes and walking in the water or even swim if you like the water, being intuitive with nature can improve your mood and make you feel better! Hang out with friends that you have trusting and full heart with! Surround yourself with people that you love and go out with them to do any of the outdoors! You can also interact with them through video chatting or calling! Hearing someone's voice or video chatting actually makes you feel good and better because it is more an intimate experience and is always amazing and a better feeling with your loved ones! There is studies that have proven that HEARING a VOICE of your loved one is better than reading a text from them!... There is many things you can do and I can go on and on about it...

I know this list of things may be overwhelming or a feeling of giving up.

When you are at a point of, "I am willing to try anything,"Feeling that hopelessness, I hope these suggestions will help, guide and encourage you to be a FIGHTER, be BRAVE, be THE CHANGE, be THE HELPING HAND, LIFT OTHERS, be RESPECTFUL, Bring COMFORT, Show LOVE and COMPASSION, VULNERABILITY and NURTURING!

You will get through this obstacle, this challenge in your life. I post this as a sign of HOPE. I survived, SO CAN YOU!

Thank You Ya'll