Goodbye 2020 Hello 2021

SWelcome 2021 FINALLY! Let's me start out by saying you BETTER be way easier on us then 2020 was because I don't think any of us have it in us to keep up with how things are much longer. We all want to be able to walk outside air clean with no mask again. We all want to be with our family again. We all want to be able to go out to dinner and a movie on a Friday night again. We all want to attend concerts and amusement parks again. Its almost crazy to think back on a world not how it is now as if it almost never existed to begin with. Now I don't know about any of you but I for one know I am officially done with the 2020 version of the world! I know there isn't a whole lot we can do but at least we do still have control of our own lives and we can still choose what we decide to accomplish everyday we step out of that bed for ourselves. I'm sure a lot of our resolutions are the same in the bigger aspect of things but I figured I could share some of my own personal goals for myself in this new year. Day 1 of 365 this is our story; time to choose how we want our book to end this time.

So to start off one of my goals this year starting small would have to be controlling my emotions on little things that have no real effect in my actual life. An example also my biggest problem is how angry I become in losing on a video game. I know it sounds silly but my whole body literally starts shaking and it can sometimes ruin my whole mood for the whole day (not healthy apparently haha) so this year I promise myself I will control myself. I will not let it ruin my whole day since the consequences aren't real! I will learn to enjoy it as it is; a game. Meant to be for fun or as a leisure activity.

Second, another goal of mine this 2021 is to learn how to love myself the way i deserve to love myself. When I look back on the subject now it is honestly heartbreaking to realize I haven't truly loved myself since I was about thirteen. I spent so many years trying to help the rest of the world get back on their feet that i ended up slipping and stumbling over my own. So no longer will I sit back and not take my own feelings/thoughts into consideration. No longer will I sit back and offer all the knowledge and experience I have had to help others get through their own trauma. Not without them actually taking my words in and absorbing them into the soul for only then will i feel it to be worthy enough of my time anymore. No longer will I take everyone else's abuse and fear soaking all of it up till I no longer can handle any of my own when thrown my way in life. Today day one will be the start to me Amanda standing up tall and only standing my own ground. I won't fight everyone else's battles for them, I won't throw my own feelings away to make others happy, and I dang sure won't let everyone else tell me how i need to be happy. I will love myself again as if it's all I've ever deserved!

Third, this is more of a dream of mine I suppose, it would be to have my social media platforms grow larger in numbers so that I can gather more of an audience to lead them here. I would love to be able to get the attention of the people so I can write even more stories and they can help me help them with ideas/topics or anything really. I have been writing freely since about fifteen and I would have never imagined I would be able to put my stuff out for the world. Let alone so easily; so things may not be how they use to be but we have to admit we are blessed with some of the advancements we have now aka Vocal. The fact we can express who we truly are in such a worldwide fashion is something we start to take advantage of because the internet is so widely spread out now. We all need to step back and be thankful for the opportunities we are granted with right at our own finger tips. So yes I pray one day my stories can become bigger and better plus who knows maybe even I can have a published book out one day ha!

Forth, the final goal for myself i have is to get healthier. I know what you are all thinking "well duh we all want to get healthier" that's not the aspect i mean though. I since a child have HATED the doctors office/hospitals. Which would be fine because as a child who doesn't hate it or the dentist but the problem is here I am twenty five and i still wont go to the doctors. I know i know how are you that old and no regular doctor, no gynecologists, no set dentist and to that I say yet I'm still alive haha. No but on a serious note if i was in better shape maybe i wouldn't be even thinking about it right now but unfortunately my family medical history is crap. I have low iron, high blood pressure, and a weak heart that I'm aware of so who knows what else. My grandma,grandpa, two aunts and dad all passed from a heart attack and all before the age of 50 besides my grandparents who only made it to their 70's. So no matter how much I may hate it this year I will get health insurance and i will start taking care of myself properly so i can break this family curse once and for all.

In conclusion, I could go on forever with all the dreams and goals I have in this crazy mind of mine but I wont take up any more of your precious time I suppose. Basically I guess I just want better for not only everyone else but for myself this year too finally! We all deserve happiness specially after last year but I will only focus on mine and the ones i love truly this year for that is all that matters to myself now. Good luck and happy journeys to you all.

Signed: The girl who is over 2020