Goals with Soul

I’ve spent years circling in and out of the masculine goal setting paradigm, each January 1st that inner (Melrose Place ball busting) Heather Locklear circa 1995 with the black power suit would stomp into my mind and demand what it was I intended to achieve this coming year?

I would come up with an impressive array of intentions, aspirations, goals and ideas that would placate her and would leave me sweating and flicking through my diary seeing how I could fit it all in. Perhaps it was living life to the fullest, but what i ended up with was a full life and blown up adrenals glands.

As I got older, I found I couldn’t party like I used to, I started searching for magic pills and potions to give me more energy so I could do more, a life coach to help me work out how to do more, and productivity planners and courses to help me get organised so I could do more.

Some of it worked, and some of it stuck with me, and through all of it the to do lists just got longer.

When would have a session of burn out, it would feel like I was wading through mud, tired before the day started, and needing rests during the day just to get though. The rest of the time I hd great energy, but then I’d push too hard, rush around, and get lots done let’s be honest, but I would pay for it the next day. I just couldn’t live like this any longer.

I began to long to do less, to eliminate recurring to do’s and finally see the bottom of my to do list. I felt like my life was passing my by.

I started to write a list, of everything that I was responsible for, everything that I was doing and trying to achieve. And then, I started crossing things off. I had to make the way clear. I was ruthless. Everything that wasn’t essential had to go. The more I started to say no to events I didn’t want to go to, resign from positions I didn’t love, and find the help I needed with the things that remained (think hiring someone to help with my ironing) I began to feel like I had some time back again.

I began to listen to Danielle La Porte and her podcasts and one began talking about creating words for the year that give you a sense of how you want to feel for the year. I chose some easy ones to start: ease, abundant, energised. Since those first words chosen, I have chosen 3-5 words per year every year, and they are how I am living my life. Every decision, every choice, every day I ask myself am I living in alignment with the words I have chosen for the year.

My words for this year are : effortless, nourished, homebody.

I chose effortless because I want to feel as though I move, work, play, create and love effortlessly.

I chose nourished because this year is all about creating beautiful food for my family and myself that is abundant with nourishment.

I chose homebody, because last year during lockdown, I felt the most free that I have ever felt, the most grounded, the most loving, the most peaceful, the most joyous. So this year I am dialling up on having things delivered and keeping a lid on going out. Not because I have to, but because I want to be at home and recreate that feeling of not having to be anywhere each day. Because I want to bake and create and renovate and be free from other peoples energy and agendas and be in my own ruminations for the day.

This year I have learned a new practise of anchoring these words into my cells in a deeper way with the use of an essential oil. In January I performed a ceremony where I imagined embodying the words I’ve chosen for the year, that I was looking back on the year and feeling the sense of these words in my life, whilst inhaling my favourite oil Jasmine. Now whenever I wear the oil, which is most days, I can easily conjur those feelings.

You can explore the essential oils I use and recommend here

The most powerful thing we can do for ourselves is to be still and listen. My soul was calling forth from me not more, but less, and when I opened up to receive that message many more flooded in following it.

What I’ve learned is that when we say no to something and remove something from our to do list permanently, it creates a vacuum that doesn’t necessarily need to be filled.

Did you know that Arianna Huffington and Oprah both agreed in an interview they could have been just as successful if they had done half of what they had done in their careers/lives.

Food for thought.

Em x