Get Over the Mistakes Your Parents Made

Many people carry emotional wounds from childhood. These wounds often come from how they were treated by their parents. If your parents criticized you a lot, got angry when you made mistakes, or made you feel like you were never good enough, you may have grown up believing that something was wrong with you.

When parents scold or punish a child harshly, especially for small things, the child begins to think that they are at fault all the time. This creates deep feelings of guilt and shame. If this happened to you, you may have started to believe that you were not lovable or that you didn’t deserve kindness or success. Over time, these thoughts can become part of how you see yourself. You may feel unworthy, inadequate, or not good enough—even when you are doing fine.

Children are very sensitive. When parents use emotional punishment—like ignoring their child or withholding love—it can hurt just as much, or even more, than physical punishment. The child may begin to feel unloved or unwanted. This feeling can follow them into adulthood, affecting how they see themselves and how they interact with others.

As adults, many people who grew up in these kinds of homes struggle with low self-esteem. They may constantly compare themselves to others and feel like they always fall short. They may think, “Everyone else is better than me,” or “I’ll never be successful.” These beliefs are not true, but they feel real because they were planted at such a young age.

One of the most common thoughts that come from this type of childhood is, “I’m not good enough.” This simple sentence can have a big impact on your life. It can stop you from trying new things, taking risks, or believing in yourself. It can make you afraid of failure and rejection. It can keep you stuck in jobs, relationships, or situations where you are unhappy because you believe you don’t deserve better.

These emotional patterns can be hard to break, but the good news is—they can be changed. The first step is to understand that your parents were not perfect. Like all people, they made mistakes. Maybe they didn’t know how to express love. Maybe they had their own emotional wounds that they never healed. Whatever the reason, their behavior was about them—not about you.

You are not to blame for the mistakes your parents made. As a child, you didn’t have the power to change your environment. But as an adult, you do. You can choose how you think, how you act, and what kind of life you want to create for yourself.

To begin healing, it’s important to look at the past with honesty, but not with anger. Accepting what happened is not the same as saying it was okay. It simply means that you are ready to move forward. Try to let go of the guilt and shame that were never yours to carry. Those feelings were put on you by others, but they do not define who you are.

You can start to rebuild your self-worth by changing the way you talk to yourself. Replace negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough” with kinder, more helpful ones such as “I am learning,” “I am worthy,” or “I am doing my best.” Be patient with yourself—healing takes time.

It also helps to surround yourself with supportive people. Find friends, mentors, or even a therapist who encourages you and believes in you. Healthy relationships can help heal the wounds left by unhealthy ones. They can remind you that you are valuable just as you are.

Another important step is to take responsibility for your life today. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself—it means realizing that you now have the power to make better choices. You are not a child anymore. You don’t need your parents’ approval to feel good about yourself. You can give that approval to yourself.

Start setting goals, even small ones, that move you in the direction of the life you want. Each step forward builds confidence. Each time you act in your own best interest, you strengthen your self-worth. You begin to trust yourself more.

Also, forgive—if not for their sake, then for your own. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or saying what happened was okay. It means letting go of the anger and pain so it doesn’t control your present. Holding on to old hurt only keeps you stuck. When you forgive, you free yourself to live a better life.

Growing up in a home where love was conditional or criticism was constant can leave deep scars. But those scars do not have to control your future. By understanding that your parents’ actions were not your fault, by changing how you think about yourself, and by choosing to grow and move forward, you can break free from the emotional traps of the past.

You are not your past. You are not your parents’ mistakes. You are a person with value, strength, and the ability to create a life filled with love, peace, and purpose. The journey may not be easy, but every step you take is a step toward healing—and toward becoming the person you were always meant to be.