Forgiving Someone Who Never Said Sorry: A Guide to Inner Peace

Forgiveness is hard. It feels even harder when the person who hurt you doesn’t say sorry. Maybe they don’t think they did anything wrong. Maybe they’ve moved on like nothing happened, leaving you to carry the pain alone. It feels unfair. It feels like letting them off the hook.

But forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you.

I learned this the hard way. For years, I held on to anger and pain from someone who hurt me deeply. I waited for an apology that never came. Every time I thought about them, I felt my chest tighten with bitterness. It was exhausting. It felt like carrying a heavy weight everywhere I went.

Then one day, I realized something: my anger wasn’t hurting them—it was only hurting me. They had moved on, but I was still stuck in the past, reliving the pain over and over again. That’s when I knew I had to let go, not for them, but for me.

If you’re in a similar place, here’s how you can start your journey to forgiveness and inner peace.

1. Acknowledge Your Pain

Before you can forgive, you have to be honest about how you feel. Don’t downplay your hurt or brush it off as “no big deal.” What happened to you mattered. Your feelings are valid.

Write it down, talk to someone you trust, or even say it out loud to yourself: “This hurt me. This broke my heart. I didn’t deserve this.” Acknowledging your pain is the first step toward healing.

2. Understand What Forgiveness Really Means

Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what they did was okay. It doesn’t mean you’re excusing their actions or letting them back into your life.

Forgiveness means releasing the grip their actions have on your heart. It means choosing to no longer let their behavior control your emotions. It’s not about them—it’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment.

3. Let Go of the Need for Closure

One of the hardest things to accept is that you may never get the apology you want. People don’t always take responsibility for their actions. Some don’t even realize the damage they’ve caused.

Closure doesn’t come from them—it comes from within you. It’s about deciding that their lack of accountability won’t stop you from moving forward. You don’t need their apology to heal.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t change the past. You can’t force someone to say sorry. But you can control how you respond to what happened.

Ask yourself: “What can I do to take care of myself right now?” Maybe it’s setting boundaries, surrounding yourself with supportive people, or finding healthy outlets for your emotions, like journaling or exercise.

Taking control of your healing is empowering. It reminds you that their actions don’t define your future—you do.

5. Practice Empathy, but Don’t Excuse Their Behavior

This step isn’t about justifying what they did. It’s about trying to understand why they acted the way they did. Hurt people often hurt others. Maybe they were dealing with their own pain or insecurities. Maybe they didn’t know how to handle their emotions.

Understanding their perspective doesn’t mean their actions were right. But it can help you see that their behavior says more about them than it does about you.

6. Give Yourself Grace

Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve let go. Other days, the anger and hurt might creep back in. That’s okay. Healing isn’t linear.

Be patient with yourself. Forgiveness takes time, especially when the pain runs deep. Celebrate the small steps you take toward letting go, even if they don’t feel like much.

7. Choose Peace Over Resentment

There’s a saying: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

When you hold onto anger, it eats away at your happiness, your peace, and your ability to enjoy the present. Forgiveness is your way of saying, “I refuse to let this control me anymore.”

You deserve peace. You deserve to wake up without the weight of resentment on your chest. Choosing forgiveness is choosing freedom.

8. Release, Don’t Reconnect

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let the person back into your life. It’s okay to forgive someone and still decide to keep your distance.

Forgiveness is about releasing the pain, not reopening old wounds. Protect your peace. Let go of the hurt, but hold on to the lessons it taught you.

Forgiving someone who never said sorry is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But it’s also one of the most liberating. It’s a gift you give to yourself—a gift of peace, freedom, and healing.

You don’t need their apology to move forward. You don’t need their permission to heal.

You are stronger than the pain they caused. And you deserve a life that’s free from the weight of their mistakes. Choose forgiveness. Choose yourself.