Forgive and Forget

What does "Forgive and Forget" mean to you? Does it mean that you are weak; that you have to let people keep hurting you and step all over you? Perhaps it means, never saying a word about it so you are not called a complainer or negative person?

It may seem hard for some of us to forgive and forget. I look at it like getting a second chance at life. Why? because keeping unforgiveness living in our hearts is dangerous and risky to our health. In fact, is like accumulating plague in the arteries. I am not a professional medical advisor; however, I have experienced shortness of breath due to anxiety, and panic attacks that I actually thought I was going to die. So, imagine having plague arteries, right?

My husband's best friend had a quadruple bypass due to plague arteries. He was fortunate that he was rushed to the hospital just in time. We listened intensely as he shared his experience of pain in his chest and the difficulty he had breathing. Not to mention the long-suffering aftermath of recovery.

To me, unforgiveness is the like, if we plague our hearts with unforgiveness the aftermath will be long-suffering. You might disagree with me on this, and that is perfectly fine. I agree that it's ok to disagree. However, my writing is not necessarily about open-heart surgery.

Guard your hearts, my friend.

Is Everything Ok?

First, I had the privilege to assist the coordinator of one of the ministries in the church. I remember that I was honored to take part, and was filled with joy. Beforehand, I had a great relationship with a particular sister, but it wasn't long before accepting the assignment that I realized the relationship began to change a bit, and so I asked her if everything was ok, and she answered yes. I was puzzled though but I left it alone.

After about a couple of weeks, I started hearing some negative comments coming from her about the tasks that I was assigned. She literally went from being kind to giving me an attitude and mumbling about certain small tasks in the kitchen not being done correctly. I didn't understand what was the problem. Again, I would ask her if everything is ok, but she would nod her head yes. But, I could feel the tension.

Following the monthly meetings, the minutes were emailed. There we shared some ideas as well. I would read comments made indirectly, and they were always about either the flyer I created or other tasks that I was involved with. If I said anything to them it became a problem. I tried to maintain humility but it didn't work. This went on for a long time. It was evident to me that something was not ok; these women did not like me. To my surprise, I lasted on that committee for eight years. And to be honest, I hate to say it but I did so that they don't get the satisfaction. Like I said it happened many times, and I cried so much that I wanted to leave the church. Instead, I forgave them because as sisters it was the right thing to do.

Another time, the leader called each of us to come and stand in front of the fellowship hall to thank us for the work done. As we all stood in a row one of the women from the committee gave each of us a tiny brown gift bag. After that, the leader started to call each lady by name and gave them a lovely decorated medium size gift bag. She then asked us all to be seated.

As I proceeded to my table, I felt embarrassed that I was the only one she did not call by name nor did she give me a gift bag in front of the ladies in the event like she did the others. So, I walked away wondering if everything was ok, I was just given a small flat gift bag.

I noticed that a sister seated across from my table was looking right at me. I felt my body shaky, and my face flushed from the embarrassment. Then all of a sudden, I heard the leader call out, "Oh!, Ev, here, I forgot to give you this," as I turned around to her she smirked and gave me the gift bag. Clearly, something was not ok.

I felt my eyes about to water but I took in the slowest breath and held it in, thanked her, and headed back to my table. To brush it off I just started to clear up the table and asked the ladies if they wanted more coffee or tea. What I really wanted to do is just rush out of there and cry.

I hated every moment of it. Unfortunately, there were more incidents that happened. Sadly to say that those were never resolved; just left alone. As for me, I never asked again if everything was ok because the honest truth it was never ok.

In closing, my friend, for those of you who can relate to what I shared. I hope that you will work on keeping your hearts healthy. Do not plague your hearts with people that are going to cause you long-suffering. Also, to those of you who are still finding it hard to forgive and forget due to a more harsh situation, I truly hope that you will find some peace. Keep hoping, believing, and living life to the fullest with your loved ones. I'm sure that will always be ok.