"My Bed or Yours?"

⚡ "No one is going to understand why we did this together."

"That's the beauty of it. Fuck 'em. Let 'em guess."

"Just like we leave it a mystery how we met at that cemetery?"

"Exactly."

"Fantasizing about doing this and actually going through with it are two different things."

"You said he doesn't love you. And you don't love him. Right?"

"The last few years, I've learned to hate him."

"I'll bet sometimes he hates you too."

"Aren't you the charmer. You mean like how your wife must hate you?"

"Who gives a fuck at this point? I sure don't! Do you have some exciting plans for the future? Are you looking forward to, like, a trip to Paris or some Mediterranean cruise? What? Are you anticipating an invitation to be David Corenswet's baby mama?"

"No. My life is a dreary, dismal mistake."

"My life is a shit-show on steroids. So let's change things! Irrevocably! Take back the control they stole from us. All the haters will never see it coming. We'll upend their entire worlds!"

"Pretty confident about your own importance, aren't you?"

"No. And neither are you. That's why we're having this conversation."

"If you say so."

"If we go through with this, you know how everyone will react."

"They'll be shocked.⚡"

"Bewildered."

"Blindsided."

"Brokenhearted."

"I don't know. Maybe for a minute they will be."

"When was the last time you did something romantic?"

"Are you kidding me? Is that what you call this? Romance?"

"That was a joke."

"Ha ha. You don't sound like Romeo and last time I checked, I'm no Juliette. I belong in a barn, not on a balcony."

"And I belong in a zoo. I'm well aware. But some people would say that sneaking off with a man of wicked intent is quite romantic."

"Who would say that exactly?"

"Like, poets and authors."

"I'm not a poet and you're no author. Are you?"

"For all you know, I've written a dozen bestsellers."

"Can I have your autograph?"

"You're so sarcastic."

"Am I?"

"Have you told any of your friends about me?"

"All my friends pulled slow fades a long time ago. We won't say why."

"You're evasive too. It's annoying."

"Welcome to my world."

"You're just scared, aren't you? That's what this is all about."

"Oh, hell no! What's there to be frightened of? I'm not scared; I'm pissed! Fuck him and everything he stands for! All I want to do is shit on his soul! And you..!"

"What about me?"

"You're my last, best weapon."

"One designed to inflict maximum emotional damage."

"Yes."

"I can respect that. You're my means to an end too. We're on the same page."

"I don't even know how old you are. Or what your middle name is. I really don't know anything about you."

"And I don't know anything about you. You're nothing to me. That's what makes this so right."

"I admit: I've thought about it for far too long. I can't stop thinking about it. It's always there, when I first wake up in the morning. It's the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night."

"I understand."

"I feel trapped. Like I'm a lightning bug he captured in a jar when he was a kid, then hid away in a closet for all these years, and I didn't die, and he just takes me out once in a while to see me blink luminescent S.O.S. messages that he'll ignore."

"And you said you were no poet."

"I feel meaningless, like a chalkboard that's been erased."

"I get it."

"And I'm so sick and tired of everyone talking about me behind my back."

"So lets have a laugh at their expense. Freedom, at last! It will be liberating. The ultimate liberation."

"Pour me another drink."

"Absolutely. I need another one too. And let's get naked! We can't very well do this the right way if we aren't naked."

"Our Entry; Our Exit. Full Circle, and all that. I'm not blind to the irony."

"Cheers."

"Jeers."

"Ha! Good one."

"I used to have a sense of humor. I used to sing too."

"So? Are we doing this or not? I'm dying to see your nude body. Pun intended."

"I still don't know."

"Hey! I'm definitely not, like, trying to force you! I'd never do that. Never. Personally, I've just been pushed beyond my limits."

"Me too."

"And don't forget: you were the one who came to me with this idea! You sold me on it, got me all fired up about it, and now you get cold feet? That's pretty fucked up."

"It didn't take much persuading. All I had to do was mention the possibility of an Out and you were all in."

"Whatever. Suddenly, you seem less than enthusiastic about doing it with me."

"Don't tell me how I feel! This was my idea. Simply finding you shows how desperate I am."

"No matter how frustrated you are, I'm way more."

"I'm definitely more frustrated than you."

"Oh no. It's me. Definitely me."

"It's without-a-question beyond-all-doubt me."

"Well, then, prove it!"

"What happened to allowing me to make up my own mind?"

"You're right. My bad."

"You act like doing this is going to be easy for you."

"It's not. But it's gotta be easier than, like, living a such a fucked-up existence."

"A farce."

"Exactly."

"You know what? When I stop to think about it.... once the initial shock wears off for everybody, no one is really going to be that surprised."

"Why do you say that?"

"Everyone thinks the worst of me. They all think I'm pretentious. And stupid. Everybody hates me."

"I'm not an I.Q. test. And I don't know you well enough to hate you."

"Trust me: if you did know me, you couldn't love me."

"Let's leave love out of this, okay? Fuck love! Fuck lovers everywhere! Fuck everything but fucking, okay? For fuck's sake!"

"Calm down."

"I'm fine."

"You're drunk."

"I'm fine."

"Well, I'm not."

"So what you're saying is you changed your mind. No surprise there. I'm used to that shit. You were never serious to begin with, were you?"

"Oh, I'm serious. Don't you dare tell me I'm not serious! I'm serious as a drone strike on Gaza. I'm as serious as an ICE agent pulling a gun on a innocent mother-of-three in Minneapolis."

"Heh. I kinda like you. You say the darnedest things."

"Sometimes. I, um... Is there, um..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"What?"

"Like maybe some chance for the two of us? I know! I know! I'm crazy! But I like you too! Call this a last ditch effort before proceeding with the plan."

"There is no chance for us. Period. I'm a despicable asshole. Just ask my wife. Ask my parents. Or my brothers. Or my coworkers. Fuck, ask my mailman. You have no idea what I've done."

"Well, you don't know me either! If you did know me, you'd know I'm no bitch! People act like I'm the problem but I'm not the problem!"

"That's what problems always say."

"Your peeps may have cause to hate you--"

"--Good cause."

"-- but I don't deserve to be treated like shit!"

"Hey. It's okay. Don't misunderstand. I'm a victim too! I've just stopped whining about being a pariah."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. And you wanna stop whining too. I can tell. You're just too used to being miserable all the time. It's familiar to you. You're too much of a coward to shut the fuck up and take, like, definitive action."

"You are an asshole."

"Told ya."

"So we'll 'help each other'?"

"Yes. It's almost like we're fated to be together, just so we can free each other from our ordeals."

"I don't believe in fate."

"I don't either."

"If destiny is real, then I was destined to be fucked in the teeth."

"Come on. Be honest. Tell me you won't like making them suffer. We can do that, you and I. We make them regret what they did to us."

"Revenge."

"Yes."

"Burn down their pretty little imagined worlds-- the ones that are all jellybeans & sunshine & laughter-- the secret ones that give them hope."

"Yes. So what'd'ya say? Let's do, like, one more shot and then crawl into bed together."

"That's where you want to do it? In bed?"

"Duh."

"Good a place as any, I guess."

"We don't have to do it in bed, if you don't wanna. We could even do it, like, on the steps of the county courthouse if that's what appeals most to you."

"No. The bed is fine. Actually, it's perfect. Clean fresh white linen sheets."

"Yes! Now you got the picture!"

"You brought everything we need?"

"Right here in my satchel. I came fully prepared to make a splash."

"And what if I'd said no?"

"I would have been very disappointed. To the extreme that I might have even done it alone. I don't know. But like I said: I won't force you."

"I don't feel forced. You're right. I want this too. Just talking to you about it feels almost... I don't know..."

"Intimate?"

"Yes. It's been a very long time since I've felt this way."

"I honestly don't know if I've ever felt real intimacy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't fucking apologize to me, okay, and I won't thank you! This isn't for the fun of it! It's what we both need!"

"I know. I'm-- Look, do we really have to do it like this? When I first came to you, I never thought we'd do it like this."

"We discussed this already! At length. You know why we're doing it this way."

"Maximum shock value."

"Exactly. I want that bitch to puke when she sees what she made me do."

"After I'm gone, I hope to hell that motherfucker I married falls for some skanky bitch way hotter than me, only to have his dick rot off before he can fuck her with it!"

"From your lips to God's ears."

"I don't believe in God."

"Me either. So, are you ready?"

"Yes. Give it to me."

''Here. One for you, one for me."

"I just put the gun right up against your forehead?"

"Yes. You blow my brains out and I take care of you at the exact same time. We'll be dead before our blood hits the walls."

"Okay. I'm ready as I'll ever be."

"Okay then. Let's do this."

"I'm nervous."

"Don't be. It'll all be over in less than a minute."

"On the count of three?"

"Yes. One..."

"Goodbye, cruel world."

"Two.....!"

"Fuck the human race!"

"THREE!"

~~

_________________Bolt⚡