Even The Unluckiest Person Can Live A Charmed Life

I’m a late bloomer.

I met my husband when I was 37, had my daughter at 39, and finally got my dreams on track at the ripe old age of 50.

You see, when I was younger, I was incredibly self-destructive. I honestly didn’t think I’d live past 30, and in my 20’s I worked very hard to prove myself right. Fortunately, the crazy stuff I did back then wasn’t fatal, even though I came pretty damn close to the edge many times.

In hindsight, I can see what got me to where I am today despite it all, and it’s not mysterious or impressive.

It might seem I’ve had healthy doses of luck along the way, but the reality is, I haven’t, and that’s good news for you.

Why is that, you ask?

Because I did something that anybody can do, I manufactured my own luck when life refused to hand it to me on a platter, and by doing so, I got myself off the highway to hell and into the hallway of happiness.

Because somehow, along the way, despite everything, I learned to listen to my intuition and trust my gut which helped me avoid some big mistakes that could have taken me even farther off course.

I believe we all have a voice inside that tells us what we need to hear. It tells us what’s real and right and what’s wrong and dangerous. It tells us what’s good for us and what isn’t. We go off track when we ignore it, but listening to it can steer us towards happiness and love.

Here’s my story and how I used my intuition to help lead me out of some very dark places.

I’d been single for a long time when I met my husband and had never been married. I did come close once, but it was the wrong person at the wrong time, so I ended it. We’d been together for about a year, and I knew this person was getting close to proposing, but I didn’t love him. He bugged me. I’d seen too many women marry the wrong person just for the sake of getting married. For the wedding. For the children. To avoid being alone. My heart sank each time I saw one walk down the aisle to cement a doomed relationship. I could easily have done the same.

I could have gone along with it and married that wrong person. In some ways, it would’ve been the easier option. But it wasn’t right, so I chose to end it.

The truth is, I was scared.

I was scared to waste my life with someone I knew in my gut wasn’t suitable.

I’d seen this pattern in my own family, so I knew where it led.

I’d witnessed first-hand how a loveless marriage twists the soul and sucks the joy out of life.

I vowed not to let that happen to me.

I decided to hold out, no matter what. Even if I never found the right person, I chose not to be with just anyone for security or to have a baby.

I spent many years alone. Some of it was very lonely.

But I learned to love my own company. I learned to be independent and content with my journey of self-discovery.

I wasn’t financially secure, but that was the trade-off.

I waited and worked on myself, and when I was ready, the Universe brought me my husband. It felt like a miracle.

I couldn’t have imagined a person more suited for me than my husband. Sixteen years later, I love him even more than I did the day I married him.

The Universe provided someone so good for me that I could not have envisioned all the ways he’s improved my life.

I wanted to be with someone worthy, someone I deserved, someone right for me, so I waited and worked hard on myself, and when I was ready, he appeared.

Our meeting was so random and coincidental that it seemed destined.

But that’s the thing about life, if you settle for less than you deserve, that’s what you get.

That’s a big part of manufacturing luck: You get what you settle for.

If you take the first thing that comes along, or what gives you security but not happiness, you’ll never feel satisfied. Something will always be off, and miracles will elude you.

When it comes to jobs, you might need to take what comes along until something better presents itself, but it doesn’t have to mean you’re stuck.

When I was a personal chef, my client of 10-years moved to LA and gave me one month’s notice.

I needed a job and fast.

The news came just weeks after my husband was downsized from his job with no warning. The company got sold, and he was out, just like that.

I remember saying to him, at least we have my job, and we can live off of that if we have to.

But just like that, we were both unemployed.

I had to take the first job that came along at a restaurant near my home, and it was one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had.

The place was filthy, the chef stole our tips, and the customers were cheap. But I needed to be employed, and they accommodated my schedule as my other job hadn’t quite finished yet, and I needed that flexibility for the extra money.

But the job was so terrible I’d have quit in a heartbeat if I could have.

On more than one occasion, I called home in tears begging my husband to give me the go-ahead to walk out.

But he couldn’t.

So he’d talk me off the ledge by reminding me that if there were any way possible, he’d say leave, but we couldn’t afford it. So, I’d suck it up and get back to work.

He’d also had to take the first thing that came along. His was a stressful and dirty job for next to no money that taxed him emotionally and physically.

So we were both struggling with terrible, low-paying jobs we took out of sheer necessity. It was a very dark time for us, but we had a new baby and a mortgage and bills.

I tried to be grateful for the job, such as it was, but I also decided not to get stuck. I chose to get proactive and use the experience as a stepping stone. Yes, I had to keep showing up, but that didn’t mean I had to stay.

I kept applying for jobs, and eventually, I got one in a local high-end hotel.

A friend had taken me to that same hotel for a treat one year when I was still a personal chef.

I thought I’d like to work there if I ever left my cooking job.

So I waited and watched the job postings, and after six months of watching the listings, one came up.

I applied the instant it went up and got called for an interview right away. After making it through the interview process, the hotel hired me.

I loved that job, and the money was good.

I worked for one of the best teams I’ve ever worked for and met some great people. A few years later, I left to open my own business but was so grateful to have that in the interim.

Instead of becoming resigned to that terrible job, I scoured the job sites every day until the perfect posting came up.

When the opportunity arose, I jumped on it.

I persevered.

My husband changed jobs a few times, but after trying for six years, he got into a unionized company doing a job he enjoys.

For six years, he kept his eye on this company. He made a contact at one of the terrible jobs with a guy who worked there. He kept in touch and nurtured that relationship. He checked the job postings every day even though this company rarely hired. The people who worked there never left. I knew a woman whose husband worked there, and once when I asked her if they were hiring, she laughed in my face and said they never hired. When she did that, it upset me. Not just because she was rude but because my husband wanted to work there so badly.

And then one day it happened. The company expanded.

My husband called the guy he’d kept in touch with and asked him about it. He told my husband to apply on the website, and he’d notify a manager to keep an eye out for it. He got the interview, and they hired him.

All because he didn’t give up.

He stayed focused and never gave up on his goal.

That’s another way to create luck is perseverance.

If you’re patient and proactive, eventually, you’ll be lucky. It might take a while, maybe even years, but if you keep going, you’ll get lucky.

You have to keep working towards your goals even if they feel like they’ll never happen because sometimes change takes time.

Don’t get caught up in feeling like everything is permanent.

Almost everything in life can be changed.

If you don’t want something, don’t settle for it. If you want something, then make a plan, go for it, and don’t stop for anything.

Try to nip bad decisions in the bud before they become you get in too deep.

If you have to do something that makes you suffer, use your spare time to figure a way out of it.

Learn to love yourself.

I got therapy to unravel my problems and solve them or at least find a way to make them more manageable. Having a partner during that time would have been pointless because I had to work on myself first.

When I had jobs I hated, I relentlessly pursued better ones, not stopping until I found something.

When I was unemployed, I had a system.

I’d print out ten resumes a day and vow not to come home until they were all gone. I did this every day until someone hired me.

That’s how I manufactured the luck that’s kept me employed, no matter how many times I’ve started over. I haven’t loved every job I’ve had, but I’ve always worked.

I could give so many more examples of times in my life I’ve seemed lucky, but the truth is, I haven’t been lucky at all.

Life’s thrown me some real curveballs.

But since I’m married to the supportive, helpful love-of-my-life, doing a job that fulfills me, successfully working for myself, I probably seem pretty lucky.

The truth is, I’ve been proactive, patient, and persistent, and I’ve listened to that little voice inside that tells me when something isn’t (or is) right. It’s that combination that probably looks like luck from a distance, but I don’t have a patent on those things. They’re freely available to anyone who wants them, and anyone can take care of themselves by making good choices.

If you choose not to settle, trust your gut and persevere, you can fill your life with luck and miracles.

The Universe will always reward you if you hold out and hold onto your dreams and actively work for them. So even if you think of yourself as unlucky, the truth is, your life will be just as charmed as anyone else’s if you put those principles into practice.

Thanks so much for reading!

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Erin King is the author of How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru.