Do You Know Depression?

I have been battling depression for more than twenty years, on and off.

Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious mental disorder that negatively affects how you feel, think, act, and perceive the world.

What Is Depression?

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression?

I keep asking life and myself why me. Why am I depressed?

Depression is a mental state of low mood and aversion to activity. It affects about 3.5% of the global population, or about 280 million people worldwide, as of 2020. Depression affects a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)

I write my best stories under episodes of depression. It’s like the water that feeds my creative, innovative imagination. I figured out that’s why it never goes away. I am praised, thanked, and congratulated for my stories.

No one will believe that these words were written by someone severely depressed.

I know depression since it’s been living with me on and off for years. I must admit that there are times when I ask, “Is death better than this?”

When depression renders us weak, and life shoves many of us into corners, some of us will wonder, ‘What is death like?’

Then, many try to find out what death is, leaving mountains of pain behind for their family and friends.

Knowing depression, I can sense it when I talk to someone. I can see it in the fear in many eyes. I can read it in the pain and emotions shown on many faces. I can identify it in the actions, choices, and decisions of many people I know battling it. I can also identify it in silence. It’s felt in their words, too, thanks to the pain in their heart.

Many times, it’s not what was said but how it was said and who said it.

Depression hurts not only the victims but their families and friends.

What causes depression?

Google says: Depression is caused by a combination of biological, environmental, psychological, and genetic factors.

The way I feel many days is much more than all of the above. Since depression decided to stay with me, I think I should take the time to know it and what it wants from me.

It wants me to be sad, but I choose to be happy and find ways to stay positive. I can see the good in everything, even the bad.

One win for me.

I take the time to know myself. “If you know yourself, no one can tell you who you are.”

Depression doesn’t know me, so it can’t tell me who I am.

Another win for me.

I look for the good in everyone and everything. I hope for the best and am prepared to deal with the worst. My first instinct is to be good. I give the good I want. Using the negativity, cruelty, and thoughtlessness I get from humanity as fuel to re-energize myself.

My thinking changed. I won.

I never allow my personal feelings to interfere with what is right. My mood and emotions don’t make decisions for me.

Depression loses again.

I don’t regret the cruelty or anything negative humanity does to me. Their actions, choices, and decisions tell me a lot about themselves. They also teach me many things about life, guiding me to make better decisions.

Depression can be a teacher, too.

I give gratitude for the good and the bad.

Depression loses again.

I discuss my feelings and why I am the way I am with my children so they, too, can know what Depression is. Children will forget what their parents say, but what they do and how they live stays with them.

I don’t act, behave, or live like someone depressed. I am stronger than Depression.

I hope Balance doesn’t get mad at me for doing what is best for me. I refused to allow depression to win.

For all of the people out there experiencing Depression, take the time to know it. Study its blueprint as I do. Know its structure. Then, deliberately do the opposite of its criteria. Find positive ways to beat depression without medication that has dangerous side effects. Think of it as the enemy waging war on your mood, emotions, feelings, body, mind, and soul. If you know the enemy and their weapons, then it’s easier for you to beat them at their own game.

If your heart could speak, what would it say?

Think of Depression as the enemy. Then, fight not to let them win.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.