Denial And The Six Steps To Take To Overcome It

Denial is a defence mechanism that makes us refuse to accept reality as it is.

Being in denial can be a good or bad thing.

After going through a traumatic life experience such as the loss of a loved one or a physical injury, being in denial can be good. It can help a person deal with the situation at hand such as making final arrangements or healing physically without involving the mental aspect of internalising the bad situation. This can help a person cope for a while until they are in a better situation to carefully mentally process what they may be going through.

Being in denial turns into a negative thing when a person blatantly refuses to accept a bad situation and how it negatively affects them and their lives even after time has passed.

Severe cases of denial could be symptoms of mental illnesses and that might need the intervention and help of a qualified professional.

Some instances of denial however are negative habits that we practice at the individual level to avoid facing or dealing with the issues in our day-to-day lives.

We may be in denial because;

We don’t want to face reality

The reality may be hard to come to terms with and we may choose to be in denial to avoid facing it.

Because we are hurting

A harsh reality such as the death of a loved one may cause us to hurt and lead us to be in denial about the loss or situation.

To avoid getting hurt some more

Accepting the reality especially in bad situations can cause us more hurt and most of us could choose to be in denial to avoid getting hurt some more.

Because we refuse to adapt to change

Being in denial keeps us in some comfort zones which may be unhealthy. A person with an unhealthy addiction may choose to be in denial about it to avoid the hard work and sacrifice needed to overcome the addiction.

Let us stop being in denial about our-;

• Poor mental healths

• Addictions

• Bad habits

• Unhealthy relationships

• Insincere and disloyal friendships

• Poor money decisions and poor financial situations

• Poor health

• Bad eating habits

• Lack of ambition etc

Instead, let us:

Self reflect

Take some time off, avoid all distractions, clear your head and look inside yourself to allow you to see your self honestly. This way, you will be able to see what you may be in denial about.

Acknowledge our shortcomings

After a period of self-reflection, let us personally come to terms with ourselves. Are we toxic? Why do we constantly attract insincere people? Why are we addicted to the things we are addicted to?

Let’s be honest about what we may be in denial about, and how we can improve the situation.

Seek the help we need to improve

After coming to terms with our shortcomings at a personal level, seeking the help of someone we trust will be a valuable step to take.

The person should be someone that can help provide the help we need and one that can help guide us to seek it.

The help should also come in a healthy manner and environment. You cannot go to a bar to seek help about your alcohol addiction from someone drinking. Chances are that such an action could be counterproductive as you just might end up drinking.

Certified professionals such as counsellors and therapists may be the best people to seek help from. But because they may be expensive and it can prove hard to book appointments in many locations, seeking help from the helpful and trustworthy people around us is also recommended.

Make the deliberate effort to be better

Taking initiative at an individual level and making the deliberate effort to get better is a core factor in the journey to overcoming denial.

Even with all the support from other people and systems, true change cannot come unless we are willing to put in the work ourselves.

Be consistent in our efforts to getting better

Being steady in the endeavours to get better at overcoming denial is also core.

It is very easy to make a few positive strides and fall back into bad habits again. The conscious and deliberate efforts made every day are what will help a person to finally overcome denial.

Make being better and healthy a core habit

After practising consistency in our steps to overcoming denial, being aware on a day to day basis of what we may be in denial about and making the effort to avoid being captured into the denial trap on a day to day basis is important.

This article reflects some opinions of the author and should not be taken as professional advice. Please contact a qualified professional when in need.

Sources:

www.mayoclinic.org