Dear New Year,

Dear New Year,

Stop putting me through the ringer every year to prove I have no boundaries when it comes to family. Stop dragging up the bodies I thought I had buried, or allowing me to continuously be hounded by debt collectors. Please, I beg you!

I'm tired of answering this proverbial door called life only to be greeted by the ghosts of yesterdays past. Oh, just let them be!

Like I get it, how many times do I have to bump my head before I begin to see the light? How many times do I have to pick up the phone and verify my identity before being slapped in the face?

How many times do the same burdens have to show up at my door? They say the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results".

Am I insane? Are we insane?

Every year we set a resolution to be a better version of who we were the year before, and it couldn't be clearer that 2020 was telling me "When you're ready, I'm ready". Or 2020 was telling me I'm insane. Either way I am tired, drained and depleted.

Here I am 2021! Ready, willing and able. Cause baby we can't keep doing this merry go round thing year after year with no real results!

I am ready to walk into the new year assured that I deserve better and that I won't confuse having relationships for having "meaningful and fulfilling relationships"; you know the ones that aren't built on just taking but also giving?

I am ready to walk into the new year assured that taking time for self and for my family isn't the inability to deal with life but the ability to know when I've reached a point where I just need to breathe.

I am ready to walk into the new year assured that every person who shares their thoughts on my life isn't right, and that in between the constant judgment and misunderstanding; I have to find me!

I am ready to walk into the new year solving all my debts, stacking my paper. No more unnecessary flossing or tryna' keep up with the Joneses' when the thought of drowning terrifies me.

If there is anything 2020 taught me, most of all was that a "new year" can be mine if I am willing to seize it! And I have got to do everything within my power not to make the same mistakes I have made before.

Whether that be starting things and not seeing them through to fruition. Not believing in the "power of me". Dealing with toxic family members just because "we're family" or not recognizing that certain people, places, or things time in my life have just run its course.

As the clock strikes twelve, that's the pivotal moment we should give great consideration to what has troubled us and make all the necessary strides not to fall into that same trap again. Guess I should take this same advice and put it to work?

That's the time we should come up with a SOLUTION and not a re-solution; but something we can stick to, bury, see through, complete or what have you. Something that isn't far fetched, hard to grasp, leaves us confused or questioning our path.

And so with that said I'm telling 2020 and all the years past to pack a bag and keep it moving! I'm through with carrying around baggage and burdens from many moons ago.

"Cause ain't nobody got time for that" in 2021. I am claiming bigger and better for myself. For those around me. For my kids and my husband. For my sanity. For my peace. For my future.

I think you've shown me more than enough; that the only way it will be enough is when I decide it is! So here's to the new year, and all that is meant to be.....

Yours Truly,

Tired of Making New Years Resolutions now I'm about a New Year and a Solution...