Dear Depression

Dear Depression,

As hard as it has been to live my life without holding your hand, I have to now stand on my own. For a long time, I have taken your advice to withdraw from my family and dear friends. You lead me to believe that silence was the best way to cope with sorrow. I believed you when you told me that no one loved me. I really didn’t understand why you wanted me all to yourself. Truth is, you were quite selfish. You knew all along that sharing me with others would be your sacrifice to allows others to show me that I am not alone. Your days of trying to convince me that life is not worth living are over. I spent all my dinners with just you. I turned down lunch invites from co workers to be with you. You blinded me from the sunshine and warmth of happiness and joy. No longer will I give you any more of my days. I deserve better and I’m moving on.

I woke up this morning and I have decided I’m leaving you. You never had my best interest. You held me down. You talked to me everyday with negativity. You watched me sink without a word of encouragement. You knew all along it was not my time to die, but you agreed with me that I should go. We walked hand in hand, but you never once tried to lead me to the light. So many dark days, you held me down. I really thought you and I would make a life together. I was comfortable with you because I didn’t have to work at being happy, which I had no energy to do. You were going to let me go on believing this was the right life for me. What a deceiver! But I don’t trust you anymore.

So depression, so long. Can’t say I will remember the good times. I will say that I will pass it on who you are so you can’t victimize the next person. Find your way to a hole and fall in. I will be happy again. I will enjoy life again. I will reconnect with my family and friends. I will allow love back into my life. There is a whole world out there and life to live. It’s time. I missed so much just trying to cope with life’s ups and down. I leaned on you for support but all you did was make it harder for me to heal. You never meant good. Your mission was to help me to hurt me. Did you think I wouldn’t realize that you were bad for me? Did you think you could keep me all to yourself forever? Did you really believe that my loved ones wouldn’t come looking for me?

I just packed your things and now I’m telling you to go about your way. You are no longer welcome here. Leave your key and don’t look back. This is a depression free home. I have pulled back the curtains and opened the blinds. So it’s way too bright in here for you to live. I know how much you love darkness. We no longer have anything in common because I love light. Don’t bother calling me. I have blocked your number. Don’t bother coming back because you are barred. And just so you know, if you try to return, I will notify the authorities which are my loving family and my awesome friends, and they will come and stand with me to keep you out.

So good-bye.