Control your emotions, don't let them control you! 3 simple steps to take before you react.

Let me start by saying first I am a huge believer that you have a right to feel what you feel and you should ALWAYS listen to your gut and follow your heart. BUT the problem so many times our emotions take over and we lose track of our real gut feeling or our real feelings in a situation. Keep in mind emotions and feelings are not the same thing although we get them intertwined. You cannot win and attack any problem when you are led by your emotions. If they are leading some how the situation always gets worse and some how it never gets us where the hell we were trying to get in the first place. Truth is, when emotions come up its usually something that at the root is very important to us.. so the EXACT time we need to shut them up and let US take the lead and not them. We should all stand up for ourselves and not shove things under the rug.. but stand up for what you want or feel you deserve without losing the battle before you even start. These steps can only take a few minutes, even if it sounds like they will not, get past the first step and the rest come quickly and even more quick as we train our minds. Come on now, isn't the whole reason we disagree or argue is because we want to win the disagreement. These tools get you so much more of what you want and they are simple first steps.

SIT BACK AND LISTEN TO YOUR EMOTIONS BUT DO NOT ACT YET!

This is the hardest part in the moment. SHUT UP and hear them, do not talk or make the call or the text and even walk out of the room if you need to or sit there silent for a few mins. You would rather appear rude for a minute or even someone be upset for you walking away or being silent than say or react a way that is not you anyway and then the consequences of what we all as women especially have heard "crazy". Hear them and listen to them and let them wash over you.. when that feeling of crying or screaming or whatever it is comes and goes.. now you are ready to analyze how to attack the problem. Sometimes depending on how bad we are hurt or angered it can take time for this step but usually its quick. If it does take days.. allow it and dont rush it.

ARE YOUR FEELINGS COMING FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY OR THE PERSON OR THING YOU ARE DEALING WITH OR IS THIS SOMETHING FROM YOUR PAST?

So many times we react from the past.. and the person sitting in front of you getting the reaction has no idea why you are acting this way and it appears crazy.. yes women I know we hate that word to us but lets be honest it does when your on the other side and it doesnt make sense. Men, you just appear like a raging asshole and we think we need to get the heck away from you. NO ONE comes out of this reaction with the other person understanding this. Ask yourself. Is this todays problem and make sure you detach from the past pain of THAT moment and pay attention to only THIS moment.

VISUALIZE AND PLAN HOW THIS WILL GO...

By this that does not mean to shut your mouth if you dont like the way it could go. Please do not do that because then you are not being true to yourself. SPEAK UP , but do it in the right way to get to the ultimate goal you want to. Visualize how you will say it and express what you want to say... reword it when you realize that doesnt sound right and do it again. You cannot visualize and plan the whole conversation but you can the beginning and so many times the way we start it sets the tone. Be vulnerable or sad or even mad but do it without your past baggage speaking or out of control emotions and YOU are speaking and getting heard the way you deserve to be heard.