CHOOSING HAPPINESS:
Let's be honest, it’s exhausting being unhappy. Along with negativity, bitterness, and jealousy. Nobody wants to exist in this way.
What's Love Got To Do With It? Love is the ESSENCE of Life. Love is the way of happiness and peace.
INTRODUCTION
Once you learn to fully love, forgive, and embrace ‘YOU', life begins to be fun. The phrase ‘are we having fun yet’, will seem like a bitter reminder that you once weren’t. We aren't happy until we love first, ourselves... then others.
We aren’t meant to exist, miserably trudging through endless days, trying to act a role someone else scripted just to try and fit in. I don’t know about you, but I realized long ago… nobody seems too content anymore. Why on earth would I want to fit in, let alone keep molding and stuffing myself into a form to please others that I probably don't even respect.
I guess it took me way too long to see that I was going through the motions of a woman who I thought I was expected to be. My happiness was not even a blip on the radar as a people pleaser, I was constantly fussing over everything and everyone that wasn’t me. Of course, no one minded, not even me. I was the eldest child, I always took care of things. It was natural to me, and I was unaware of the fact that I was becoming a control freak.
In retrospect, I stayed busy. Always. Cook this, clean that; Do this, do that; pay all the bills and make sure I was perfect at everything since nobody else was going to do it. Of Course, they weren’t going to!! Why would they? I always beat them to it. No wonder I didn't realize that I lost my identity. I never gave myself time.
Myths and Misconceptions
I’ll never be happy. My childhood and past was too rough and I’m too scarred.
Happiness is an illusion. Everyone is pretending to be happy.
All Relationships are difficult. Two people can’t live together and love each other for 40 or 50 years and be happy. They are faking it.
*I wasn't lying about my childhood, I was obviously pretty wounded, to be so profoundly lost and without hope. However, I was extremely wrong about Happiness.
The Brutal Realness
Many of us are lost. Bereft and discouraged we tend to push it aside, put on our ‘big girl/boy panties, and go about our business. We’re STRONG, but we deserve more; deserve the freedom to be silly and quirky and anything else that shines through the shroud of pain. It's our basic, human right to feel good about ourselves and our interests. We should be encouraged to walk our paths and to pursue our dreams, the way we see fit.. no matter how crazy or stupid of may seem to others.
Grasping at Straws
Once you begin to realize that you no longer want to act a certain way or live a certain way you begin to change things. However, depending on your level of denial of self and the amount of time, chances are you may think you know what to do next, but you are just jumping ship. Diving into your new life may be exciting for a while, then sometimes you’ll have to come back up for air. Self-improvement takes time, you've got to take baby steps.
Forgive yourself
- For denying yourself.
- For staying with someone or doing something that you hated.
- Let go of any guilt you are harboring either from others or from inside.
- Accept yourself, know that you are great. Embrace your inner child. She/He wants to be free again!
FORGIVE OTHERS
For some this is the hardest part.
Just know that your parents, spouse, or anyone else who may have harmed you, had to go through their trials and map out the blind spots. Try to accept that. It’s imperative for your health and happiness. We are all born with baggage. It trickles down, and the goal should be to learn & grow as much as possible; then to make sure we pass it on to the next generation.
For me, I had the hardest time forgiving myself, just for living so long in denial of who I actually am. I feel like I betrayed myself for most of my life. One day it all just hit me like a bolt of lightning. That’s just the tip of the iceberg however. it takes time, some of us more than others. Once you do this, it's much easier to live yourself.
Now, please take a deep breath… in, then very slowly, let it out. Also let out all the negative emotions that are holding you back.
Once again.. (breathe)
then out slowly.
Repeat once more. (breathe)
Do this same thing with all that holding you back.
Now, let’s move on.
We can only do the best we can with what we know at the time, anything else is impossible. Do you see any reason(s) why you or anybody else, for that matter should go on punishing you? Of course not. I didn’t think you would. (And if for some odd reason you did.. please rewind, & start from the very beginning!)
Ok, let’s review some key points:
- You are a unique being. You’ve always done the best with what you’ve been given. There’s no reason for guilt or shame
- There’s no reason to harbor resentment towards anyone else because we know they had their share of problems, and they did the best with what they knew and were given.
- You can and must forgive yourself
- You can and will love yourself
- You’re ready! It’s time to move on and let the past go.
Conclusion:
Tonight before you fall asleep, make sure you remind yourself that you are strong and brave. Remember: you deserve to move on and enjoy a fulfilling life.
>>>The exact steps to take when Choosing Happiness are unique to each individual. It's a process that can change as you go, and often you have setbacks that may discourage you. However, I've learned that positivity is just as "contagious" as negativity. Being someone cheerfully positive is possible for anyone. It only takes a handful of times to turn anything into a good habit. So, even though I've used many cliches.. remember, practice makes perfect!
Peace, Love, and Harmony,
~Serenity
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I Never Chose the Easy Path; I Always Chose Hardship
From the earliest memories I can recall, life presented me with two roads. One was smooth, inviting, and well-trodden—a path that promised comfort, approval, and ease. The other was rough, rocky, and uncertain—a path of struggle, obstacles, and lessons that demanded effort, patience, and resilience. I never chose the smooth road. I never took shortcuts. Not because I was fearless, but because something deep inside refused to let me live a life that wasn’t earned. The easy path whispered promises of fleeting satisfaction, fleeting success, and fleeting recognition. It was tempting. Many around me chose it, and I often wondered if I was foolish for ignoring it. But I learned early that true growth is rarely convenient. The easiest choice often leads to emptiness, to regret, to a quiet knowing that you could have been more than you allowed yourself to be. Hardship became my teacher long before success ever noticed me. The lessons it offered were harsh, uncompromising, and often lonely. There were days when choosing the hard path felt like choosing isolation. While others were celebrated for small accomplishments, supported by friends and family, I walked in silence, with doubt as my companion. Progress was invisible to the world. Failures were frequent and relentless. Many nights, I returned home tired, my heart heavy, my mind questioning why I even bothered. Yet even in that silence, I was being shaped. I was learning the value of persistence, of dedication, and of refusing to give up on myself. The hard path forced honesty. It refused to allow excuses. It stripped away illusions and pretenses. I was left face-to-face with my limits, my fears, and my own humanity. On this path, I discovered strengths I never knew I had: patience I had never cultivated, resilience I had doubted, and self-respect that grew every time I stood up instead of walking away. These were not lessons that could be taught in comfort. They were only learned in struggle, in challenge, and in the quiet persistence of refusing to quit when no one was watching. I remember one time vividly. I had a goal that seemed impossible—one that required me to sacrifice comfort, leisure, and social approval. The easy path was right there: a way to avoid the challenge, to be “okay,” to follow what others had done before me. Many advised me to take it. “It’s safer,” they said. “It’s simpler,” they said. But I could feel, deep inside, that taking the easy way would leave me empty. I chose the hard path. The journey was grueling. Every step felt like pushing against gravity. But with each challenge, I gained more than I ever would have on the easy road. I gained endurance, confidence, and an understanding that real achievement is never handed—it is earned. Strength, I realized, isn’t loud. It doesn’t announce itself. It grows quietly, in the moments no one sees—the early mornings, the long nights, the repeated failures, the times you push forward when giving up would be understandable. Resilience is not simply surviving; it is deliberately choosing to continue, to stand again, to pursue the path that tests you the most. It is knowing that walking away is easier but will never lead to the person you are capable of becoming. I have walked many hard roads in life. Each one was different, yet the lessons were the same: comfort cannot teach endurance, shortcuts cannot teach discipline, and fleeting success cannot teach respect. Every struggle, no matter how small, adds to your character. Every failure is a mirror that shows you who you really are. And every choice to face hardship instead of fleeing builds a foundation that lasts long after temporary victories fade. There were times when I felt truly alone. People around me often misunderstood my choices. Friends, family, colleagues—they all questioned why I refused the easy way, why I worked harder, why I pushed myself beyond what seemed necessary. They didn’t see the growth happening quietly inside me. They didn’t see the small victories, the lessons learned, the resilience being forged. But eventually, the results spoke for themselves—not in a loud announcement, but in the quiet confidence and self-respect that I had built from the inside out. Life, I have learned, rewards those who endure hardship. Not always immediately. Not always visibly. But it rewards those who persist, who face struggle head-on, and who refuse to settle for anything less than becoming their fullest selves. Success that comes without effort is temporary; strength and self-respect are eternal. Hardship tests us, but it also teaches us. It shows us the depth of our own courage, the strength of our will, and the power of refusing to surrender. The lessons of the hard path are subtle, often invisible, and always lasting. I learned that failing is not shameful; failing is a necessary step toward mastery. I learned that enduring pain, even when no one notices, builds a type of strength that comfort never can. I learned that the more difficult the path, the deeper the reward—not measured in wealth or fame, but in character, wisdom, and self-respect. Every choice to embrace struggle instead of avoiding it shaped me. Every sacrifice, every extra hour, every moment of doubt faced instead of ignored, added to the foundation of the person I am today. My life was not easy. It was messy, unpredictable, and often overwhelming. But it was authentic. It was mine. And through hardship, I became resilient. I became someone who can face challenges without fear because I have faced them before. I became someone who respects themselves because I have honored my own effort. I became someone capable of growth because I refused to choose comfort over character. I often reflect on the people around me who chose the easy path. Many of them achieved quick victories, immediate recognition, and temporary peace. But over time, I noticed something important: the victories were shallow, the peace fleeting, and the growth minimal. They lacked the depth of resilience, the quiet power of self-respect, and the profound satisfaction that comes from knowing you endured, you learned, and you became someone stronger. Choosing hardship is not glamorous. It is not celebrated in real-time. It is often lonely, exhausting, and demanding. But it is transformative. It shapes your mind, your heart, and your spirit in ways comfort never can. It teaches discipline, patience, humility, and courage. It makes failure meaningful, effort valuable, and success earned. The hard path is where true people are made—people who understand that life’s challenges are not punishments, but opportunities. Opportunities to become better, stronger, wiser, and more capable. I never chose the easy path. I always chose the harder road, the one that tested me, the one that demanded effort, and the one that required me to face myself honestly. I walked through fear, doubt, exhaustion, and setbacks. I fell, and I got up. I failed, and I tried again. I cried, I questioned, I endured. And through it all, I became someone I could respect, someone who knew the value of persistence, someone who understood that hardship is not the enemy—it is the greatest teacher. Today, I measure success differently. I do not measure it by comfort, convenience, or ease. I measure it by growth, resilience, and the depth of self-respect I have cultivated. I measure it by how I faced challenges I could not ignore, how I embraced struggles that seemed unbearable, and how I refused to take shortcuts at the cost of my own becoming. I never chose the easy path. I chose the one that made me resilient. I chose the one that taught me self-respect. I chose the one that allowed me to become the person I am today. And if I had the choice again, I would choose the hard path every single time. Because the road of struggle is not only a journey—it is the making of a human being.writing...
By Ihtisham Ulhaq7 days ago in Motivation
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