Bright Light Through a Dark World

In a world full of the darkest times my generation has ever known, I found a light brighter than I anticipated. Here is my story.

When the coronavirus first hit my family and I was just put out of our home and we had no choice but to stay in a hotel. The hotel life is no life for a family. The struggle to keep our heads above water was very real and exhausting.

My now ex and I lost our jobs due to covid. He was laid off in his job and it was a different story for me. See, I was working at a call center of the start of the pandemic. Looking back, I do not think it was the fear of the unknown as much as the fear of not being able to return home to my kids if I was to contract the virus. I started to develop a horrible case of anxiety and fear started to overwhelm me.

The last week I was at my job was my breaking point. We were in a meeting and my boss was going over the procedures from working from home. Well as someone who was presently in a hotel that option was not available to me and plus, I was told the words that every employee longs to hear but some of the worst timing. I was told I was too essential to our team to work from home because we only made sales while I was there.

I pride myself in customer service because I have been in this industry for over 11 years, but when this virus hit that part of me wanted to do anything else but be around people. That week I steadily started making excuses on why I was not coming into work. On my last day, I was up all night with tear-stained cheeks fearing going to work. I made the ultimate decision to quit.

I can tell you now that I have worked on my anxiety, that it was my fear that had me so secluded. The day I quit my job I did not leave my hotel room, not even out of the door for almost 4 months. I do not honestly think I have been so full of anxiety or fear in my entire life. My world after that officially went dark.

The money slowly started to dwindle little by little and my ex and I was forced to once again make a hard decision. We threw our lives in the hands of the Salvation Army and it was the best decision we had made because it led us to our home and the reason, I found my true calling.

My ex did not return to work and I begged him to seek gainful employment but with my anxiety, I kept going back and forth between him working and him staying home. I started looking into work from home jobs that I could do. I used apps and other sources to make enough to keep paying our bills. We were blessed to not have rent to pay due to the pandemic and section 8. We still had bills and were still in debt.

One day I decided to write how I felt and some of my life experiences. There was an ad on Google for article submissions that pay. So, I started doing what I used to love doing when I was a teenager, writing. I wrote all different kinds of articles and started a blog, The Mommy Blog. It was not long after that I discovered that my anxiety was almost nonexistent. Without even thinking I was getting out more and talking to friends and family again.

Anyone I came in contact with said that I had a brightness to me and that I seemed happier. The more I would throw myself into my writing the better I became. I now have a full-time job and still writing. I have found myself a better mother to my 5-year-old and 19-year-old. The light inside me is so bright now and it has been there the entire time. It was lit the day I was born.

Through a dark world, I found my light and my true calling. My world has never been brighter and full of life, but it took being in the dark to find the light. I hope that this story inspires others in their darkest times to simply find the light.