Birthdays Matter

It seems as though the older we get, the less we care about our birthdays. When we were little, it was an exciting day when little Abby’s mom came in with cupcakes and candy for everyone singing happy birthday. It seemed like the best day ever! Or how about those Saturdays when your mom would take you to your friend’s house where fifteen other kids were running around chasing each other and playing with little toys from their goody bags while the parents sat at a picnic table chit chatting. It seemed like the time didn’t last long enough. You never wanted the party to end. Just pizza and ice cream and friends forever.

So why do adults hate that dreaded day that comes around every year? Is it because it seems frivolous and childish to celebrate a birthday when everyone has more important things going on? Or that there is so much sadness and chaos and hate in the world that each day spent on Earth feels like a dreaded time bomb just waiting to go off, and that celebrating someone’s day of birth in the midst of it all just seems like a sick joke?

Regardless of the reason, I feel that I have a personal responsibility in this world to spread joy and positivity. It’s true, I’m a natural optimist. I know that in every situation no matter how bleak or hopeless, there is always something to celebrate and be grateful for.

The truth is, birthdays are not just about eating the cake or singing the song or the feeling of doing it because it is customary to do so. They are not only to celebrate one’s day of birth, but to express love and appreciation for that person as well as the gracious gift of life that we are all given. It is a time to take a pause from life in between all of the crazy things we have going on and dedicate it to something happy. To gather friends and family together for a meal and share jokes and stories, or doing something fun and outgoing or relaxing.

I have a personal vendetta with pessimism. We all have been surrounded by people who allow themselves to be saturated in cynicism and go through life with not one good thing to say about anything. This is cancerous, whether in your home, your workplace, or even your church. It is most unfortunate that no matter how great things may be, there will always be someone who will tear down everyone’s happiness without a second thought. Without any regard for anyone’s feelings, this person will say something that completely sucks the air out of a room, with the possibility of being accompanied by a rude or inappropriate comment. These people do not live with true love or peace in their hearts.

This is a challenge facing many people every single day, and dealing with this type of human being can be the ultimate test of your own sanguinity. The truth is, it is up to you to fight this disease. Sometimes it can be difficult to spread cheer, especially on your worst days. You might be thinking, why is it my responsibility to make others happy when I should just focus on making myself happy? If so, really think about this here. It takes time and effort to spread joy in other’s lives. Baking chocolate chip cookies (with love) for your coworkers will most certainly take time away from yourself. Let’s break it down a bit.

You will have to sit down and go over all the ingredients you will need for the cookies. Then, get in the car and drive to the grocery store to buy those ingredients. When you get back home you have to bake the cookies, wait for them to cool, and package them all so that you can bring them to work with ease. This would take a solid afternoon from you, probably 3-4 hours.

The point of the cookies example is this: being a positive force in this world will take energy from you, but that is okay. When you put true time and effort and care into providing something for others, that love will shine through and people will begin to see it all the time. Even the sourest, most negative Nancy at your work will crack a smile.

Anyways, I kind of got ahead of myself there. The point is I am passionate for making others feel good. Seeing that smile crack would just absolutely fill my heart with joy. But I am far far FAR from perfect. Last year was a very challenging year for all of us on this earth. Not only was I away from my family on a military deployment, but back home people were forced to be distanced from their loved ones as well due to the Coronavirus outbreak. Many people had to celebrate their birthdays alone or via ZOOM, if they chose to celebrate at all.

Regardless of these unfortunate restrictions, I failed to acknowledge many of my friend’s and family’s birthdays, both when I was away and when I came back to the United States. Whether this was due to my overall lack of effort or privately facing my own challenges was neither here nor there, but I regret not giving people my thoughts. Because the truth was, I did wish them a Happy Birthday. I wanted them to have a fantastic day and to enjoy something special just for them. For my family who lives quite far from me, I wished that I had taken time to send a gift or a card rather than just a quick phone call. But 2021 is going to be different.

My New Year’s Resolution is to keep track of people’s birthdays and send them something to remind them of our friendship. As I do every December, I bought a brand new planner where I marked all of my friends and family member’s birthdays, including friends whom I haven’t spoken to in months. I want to make it a point to go to the store and buy them a birthday card, write a nice message inside, and send it to them personally. Or for close family, to send flowers to be delivered right on their birthday to make them feel special.

This year, I want people to know that even thousands of miles away, even though we haven’t spoken in months or even years, even though we don’t talk every day or keep track of each other’s lives, that they will always have a friend in me. That a longtime friend was thinking of them and wanted to send her love. Maybe they had a really rough day at work and came slumping through the door, shuffling through the mail and they see that card. Maybe I have a chance to make their day just a little brighter.

This year, I choose love for others. We have so much power as human beings that most never truly realize. If we choose to wield love and compassion more than we did selfishness and greed, imagine the culture change we could make not only in our little lives, but in the lives of others.