I remember seeing Watchmen in theatres back in 2009, and connecting with the character who was meant to be the least relatable. Dr. Manhattan was a near omnipotent figure who saw time differently than everyone around him. He could simultaneously see the past, present and future.
My mind has always been an analytical one. It parses every sentence, look or gesture for hidden meaning.
"Did I offend someone?"
"Did I annoy someone?"
"Are they mad at me?"
I play and rewind moments in my head. Sometimes the moment is from a few minutes ago, sometimes it is from years ago.
I've known my girlfriend for less than a year and she already knows my mind all too well. COVID has accelerated our development, quickly bridging the gap from novelty to familiarity. She knows when I am mulling something over because my presences"radiates" negativity in that moment. She knows I might apologize for a misstep or say that everything is fine, and then have more to say days later when I've had time to analyze more.
I live in the past, but I also live in the future. She wants kids someday. She has a dog and wants another one someday.
Thoughts of the future scare me. Her dog whines and I extrapolate, thinking that I will have to endure years of it. Then I add babies and another dog to the picture, and one bark becomes a sign of more stress to come.
Fear of the future ruins the present. I make my girlfriend — a gentle, caring person — feel guilty for wanting to share her life with me. I push her away because I am living in another time.
COVID has already taught me so much, but there is more to learn. I want to embrace the present and be a more positive presence for the woman I love. I also want to let go of the negative memories and sentiments that taint my view of the people close to me.
My girlfriend knows how much I love my mother, but she also knows I harbour lingering resentment from the past. A mention of my mother can bring up the image of a woman who is my best friend, or the woman who was an overbearing presence for many years.
Yet I am not the only person who has a complicated history with their parents. My girlfriend reveals her own past, and how she was able to forgive and move on, and I'm trying to learn from her example.
My past has made me guarded and anxious, and sometimes I spiral into insecurity. I close myself off or I make negative assumptions about the people around me.
"They are judging me."
"They are insulting me."
Sometimes I'm right. A lot of the time, I'm not. I will respond to a situation I create in my head and create tension where there didn't need to be any.
My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I nearly broke off our relationship months ago over a misunderstanding that seems so insignificant now.
At one point in time, I would have blocked and deleted her number, and then likely regretted that decision months later. I had the patience to set aside my feelings of anger or insecurity, and give myself time to calm down. We talked, we made up and the relationship is better than ever now.
I see how negative I can be now that I spend so much time with someone who is more positive. They make me better, I learn from them and I become a happier person in the process.
I no longer want to live in the past or future. I want to trust the process and enjoy the journey, being happy that I have someone travelling with me.
About the Creator
Cadeem Lalor
Cadeem Lalor is a Canadian writer. His short story “Memory Catcher” was published by Idle Ink on August 1st 2020, “Embers” was published by Siren Call Publications on October 28th, and “Feed” will be published by Storgy on March 12.
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This Thing Could Change Your Life And Everyone’s Ignoring It
In a world full of constant noise, flashy headlines, and endless distractions, it’s easy to overlook the things that truly have the power to transform our lives. We chase trends, follow advice from popular figures, and often miss the simplest tools that can make a profound difference. Surprisingly, there is one thing—simple, accessible, and often ignored—that could fundamentally improve your life, yet most people don’t give it the attention it deserves. So, what is this life-changing thing? It’s not a revolutionary gadget, a secret investment tip, or a miracle supplement. It is the practice of mindful reflection and intentional living—a concept so simple yet so powerful that ignoring it can leave you stuck in cycles of stress, distraction, and unfulfilled potential. The Power of Mindful Reflection Mindful reflection is the act of pausing deliberately to assess your thoughts, habits, and goals. It is a way to understand what you are doing, why you are doing it, and whether it aligns with the life you truly want. While it sounds abstract, its impact is very concrete. Consider this: most people go through their days on autopilot. They wake up, check their phones, rush through tasks, scroll social media, and repeat the cycle. Rarely do they take a moment to pause and ask, “Is this moving me toward the life I want?” Without reflection, life becomes a series of reactions rather than intentional actions. By taking even 10–15 minutes a day to reflect, write, or simply sit quietly, you can start to identify patterns that either help or hinder your growth. Over time, this small practice can lead to profound changes in mental clarity, productivity, and overall happiness. Why Everyone Ignores It Despite its simplicity and effectiveness, many people overlook mindful reflection. Why? The Pace of Modern Life: We live in a culture that glorifies busyness. Slowing down feels counterintuitive, even uncomfortable. Pausing to think is often seen as wasting time. Misunderstanding Its Value: People often assume self-improvement requires dramatic effort or expensive courses. Simple introspection is underrated because it doesn’t come with flashy packaging. Fear of Facing the Truth: Reflection can be uncomfortable. It forces you to confront bad habits, missed opportunities, and personal shortcomings. Many avoid it because self-awareness can initially feel unsettling. Ironically, it is precisely because this practice is ignored that it has such transformative potential. Those willing to engage with it gain an advantage few others will pursue. How to Start Small You don’t need hours of meditation or complex journaling systems to get started. The key is consistency and intention. Here are a few simple ways to integrate mindful reflection into your daily routine: Daily Journaling: Spend 5–10 minutes writing down your thoughts, goals, and challenges. Focus on questions like, “What did I learn today?” or “What could I have done differently?” Morning or Evening Reflection: Before starting or ending your day, take a few quiet minutes to assess your priorities. Even brief moments of thoughtfulness can shift your mindset. Digital Detox Breaks: Step away from screens for a short period. Use this time to reflect, breathe, and notice your surroundings. You’ll be surprised how clear your thinking becomes. Set Intentions: Start the day with a simple question: “What is the most important thing I want to achieve today?” Intentionality keeps you aligned with your goals. These are not complicated habits, but their cumulative effect can dramatically increase your focus, decision-making ability, and sense of fulfillment. Real-Life Transformations Countless individuals have experienced life-changing results by adopting this practice. Successful entrepreneurs, artists, and leaders often cite reflection as a key factor in their achievements. Take, for example, the story of a young professional who felt stuck in her career. By spending just ten minutes every morning reflecting on her actions and long-term goals, she began to recognize patterns that were holding her back—unproductive routines, fear of speaking up, and lack of strategic planning. Over months, this simple habit enabled her to change jobs, develop leadership skills, and gain a clearer sense of purpose. Similarly, many people find that relationships improve when they take the time to reflect. Recognizing communication patterns, emotional triggers, and unspoken expectations can help strengthen bonds with friends, family, and partners. The Science Behind It Mindful reflection is not just anecdotal; science supports its benefits. Research in psychology and neuroscience has shown that taking time for introspection can: Reduce stress and anxiety by allowing the brain to process emotions effectively. Improve cognitive function and problem-solving abilities. Increase emotional intelligence by fostering self-awareness. Enhance overall well-being and life satisfaction. In short, reflection is not a luxury; it is a practical tool for mental and emotional health. The Challenge: Turning Awareness Into Action Understanding the power of mindful reflection is one thing; making it a habit is another. Most people fail because they underestimate the importance of consistency. A few minutes of reflection today will not transform your life instantly, but persistent effort compounds over time. To make it stick: Treat reflection as non-negotiable, like brushing your teeth. Keep a small notebook or use a digital journal for easy access. Pair reflection with another daily habit, like drinking your morning coffee or taking a walk. Celebrate small insights and adjustments; they build momentum. Conclusion: Don’t Ignore the Obvious The truth is that the most life-changing tools are often the simplest. Mindful reflection may not make headlines, go viral on social media, or promise overnight success, but its effects are profound and lasting. By taking the time to pause, think, and act intentionally, you create a foundation for meaningful growth in every aspect of life—career, relationships, health, and personal fulfillment. If you’ve been rushing through life without stopping to reflect, it’s time to reconsider. This simple, often ignored practice could truly change your life—if you’re willing to embrace it. Remember: the difference between those who drift and those who thrive often comes down to a few minutes of quiet reflection each day. Will you be among the people who ignore it, or the ones who let it transform their life?
By Saboor Brohi 3 days ago in Motivation
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