Ballad of a Party Animal Turned Sober

There is a strong message I would like to get across to my Indigenous brothers and sisters. Today I have a very important topic I would like to discuss—no, we need to discuss: Alcohol. Sadly, for the majority of the First Nations People of North America, alcohol in one way or another has had a negative impact on our day to day lives. Without a doubt it grew to a broad and negative influence on my own personal life, then in turn, my friends and loved ones. Alcohol abuse has been and will, unfortunately, continue to be an epidemic for our nationwide people unless we do something about it. My usage of alcohol all started from seeing and hearing my favourite stars indulge their happy lives in the stuff.

I was once a very avid lover of the booze, stemming from my very first drink back in my high school days. I grew to love imported beers, tequila & lime, coke & rum, vodka & OJ—the simple stuff, along with various fancy drink names I’d much prefer to forget. I am all too acquainted with drinking hard until I was blacked out, more times in my life than I care to count, or even admit. The next day terror of it being only able to recall shards of memory like a scratched BLU-RAY disc skipping out on entire scenes. Thanks to the drink; I’ve lost girlfriends, friendships, cars, items of personal significance (such as my grandfather’s hand-me-down gold ring) and of course; many a paycheque bucks overspent on or because of the devil’s nectar. It took me until my early thirties and a prison stint to finally put down the bottle and realize that alcohol was not awesome. Not awesome at all.

Initially I kick started my drinking days in high school at the subtle age of 17, or maybe it was 16, when a good buddy and cousin used to cruise over to my remote reserve dwelling on weekends with a few mickeys of raspberry flavoured Smirnoff. I wanted to be fearless and sociable like the Rap and Rock stars I had spinning in my Sony Discman (yes, very old-school). Ultimately, I ended up desiring for the drink so much so because it gave me that extra spur of numbed confidence. In my intoxicated state I could now approach and talk to that beauty at the party, or the hot female sitting alone at the round bar table. I completely failed to realize that I must have looked like a complete ass in my word slurring, droopy-eyed state. What I didn’t fully comprehend way back when was that alcohol greatly hinders our process of intellect—decision making, in other words. I would have slammed back shot after beer after shot, right up until I finally felt like a knight in shining armour. Just like that, I was brave enough to approach her, not realizing I was completely obliterated, and most likely saying the wrong things, and with an addition of misleading body language. Drinking, once upon a time ago, was the key to alleviating my social nervousness. Yes sir, I was the shy guy in my early days before alcohol entered into my life.

But there was a big reason as to why I originally became curious and way-too desiring for the drink. Mainstream media and social culture: two aspects of regular life that have deceived us big-time. But what is the big lie, you might be wondering? It’s as easy as saying this: drinking to overkill is cool. But it really isn’t. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to be a hypocrite, but just a regular guy trying to state the obvious. A whole cluster of our choice motion pictures, and music videos especially, were and still are always making excessive drinking look way cool. Then we as followers want to mimic those scenes, going out of our way to go and party like our favourite music artists or movie stars. Why not, right? By all means these celebrities run the world, so to speak. Celebrities are inadvertently responsible for creating and flaunting the latest styles and trends that society dons. Promoting the latest in food, drinks, clothing, jewellery and so on are just a few of our favourite celebrity’s undeniable responsibilities.

Movies: a huge reasoning to society’s fondness of the drink. Numerous motion pictures make overdrinking look anything but wicked. One of my favourites, and mostly because I was a DJ at the time, was Project X. Or better yet, the Hollywood blockbuster trilogy; The Hangover for instance, portrayed and made excessive boozing a desire with its fantasized depiction of drinking as comedic. In said movie, four average Joe’s blackout and go through all sorts of awesomeness: stealing a cop car; borrowing a Bengal tiger from Mike Tyson; marrying a stripper—masculine pipedreams and impressive feats by all means. If only it was like that in real life, but it really isn’t. We try to make our nights of drinking look as cool as the movies, but in the end, it doesn’t happen. I remember one such instance. A good friend and I were chilling out, watching the Boondock Saints. There is one unnecessary scene in both movies where the assassin brothers get wasted off their asses, all the while making it look cool and appealing to our young, prying eyes. Monkey see, monkey do. “Let’s drink like them,” said my best good friend. So, following the movie, best good friend and I headed over to the nearest liquor store to purchase a 26-ounce bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey. Why? Because the Boondock Saints brothers happened to be Irishmen. That was a terrible idea. Firstly, because two twenty-year-old men shouldn’t kill off a 26-ounce bottle of 80 proof whiskey by themselves; and secondly, the real hangover lasted a full two days—pushing three. Not fun at all, ladies and gentlemen.

All hail the almighty YouTube, another mainstream incentive that’s become a huge influence on the many alcohol fueled injuries (and deaths) that occur all in the name of likes and amusement. Of course we’ve all seen the videos, it’s considered a boredom pastime—or for me, a hangover pastime. There are even TV shows that salute the drunken idiots that put themselves or others in danger for pure entertainment. Take a bow; Daniel Tosh and Rob Dyrdek.

In today’s typical society, we live on our tablets and smartphones, even during working hours, just scrolling, and living out our lives vicariously. Then there is what I would say is easily the greatest influence on today’s culture: Social Media. Facebook takes the Golden Gloves in this bout. Now think back. How many times have you seen posts of your squad all out having a badass time without you? Posting exciting pics with captivating captions every five minutes. Then finally you’ve had enough of what you see, you abandon your post and jump into the nearest cab or Uber, and then be on your way. Jittery anticipation turns to utter disbelief once you arrive at the hotel party because you find that everyone looks much more worn-down than they did in their filtered picture posts, and just about everyone at the party is in conflict. Also, there’s nowhere to sit and relax due to the sickening assortment of cigarette-butt filled empties lying about. Yes, the inevitable blackout phase had entered the party in the course of the time you made your way over. Now that there ugliness is real life, unfortunately. The party was truly badass, now just take the ass out of that expression and you have the real verdict: bad. Social media trickery, my friends.

Drinking until we blackout is repeatedly seen as righteous, or a code of honour. Not only do movies and music praise it, but reality situations do as well. What rewards are post-secondary students customarily given for passing that challenging exam? Booze and parties. College and university parties habitually have themes reworded to emphasize: Blackout ‘till you Pass Out. I have never been to university, but I have partaken to a few, student hosted social events. With alcohol flowing like wild river rapids, too much of a bad thing occurs at said gatherings.

Keep in mind now that not all people black out when they go out drinking, but a good chunk of us drinkers do, and studies exist to prove it. The horror of a blackout is that we don’t remember our actions, bad or good—usually not good. Just off-the-record; can anyone remember the Simpsons episode where Homer imagined himself as a true gentleman at Marge’s dinner party? Yes, good. “Hey if I don’t remember it, then it didn’t happen,” some will argue. Next thing you know, they’re forking over a wad of court ordered cash and apologies in reparation. Or worse yet, heading on a one-way trip to the big house. In case you didn’t know; a blackout is when the hippocampus fails to process long-term information to the brain’s hard drive. Message not sent equals memory not recollected. Too often, people like to compare the duo: blacking out versus passing out. When you pass out, you are unconscious, giving your buddies the freedom to shave eyebrows or etch penises on your face in permanent marker. When you are blacked out, you are usually very conscious, with your recollections being as dark as the farthest reaches of outer space. The next day we are then scolded or gossiped by word-of-mouth of our embarrassing actions we can’t even remember. Not to mention; the hangover triggered by the blackout ends up dialing up the anxiety that was meant to be masked by the drinking in the first place. A vicious cycle, huh?

Fortunately—or unfortunately, however you want to look at it—with today’s technology, almost everyone keeps unofficial records (or evidence) of our “fun” nights via smartphone cameras. You all remember that scene at the ending of, once again, The Hangover. The one where the credits scroll alongside the camera shots of all their craziness from the night of the blackout? Yes, that’s the one. We have all been there haven’t we? I sure have, and I all too often cringed, with an added touch of biting anxiety, at the embarrassing scenes of oneself depicted on my buddy’s iPhone. Ah hell, I might have even had my own collection of unforgettable memoirs had I not lost my own iPhone during my blackout.

Sometimes we are forced to deal with our blacked out and drunken actions, often we are not. I for one, was not a very good guy to be around when too far gone. Easier said: I became a very mean and unpleasant individual. A real McDinkus I often became. For some it can get even worse. Imagine the mysterious-yet-cool, quiet dude in your class or workspace. You casually offer him to come out for drinks, but this youngster barely even knows what beer tastes like. Next thing you know, after a polished bottle of Jack Daniels, he’s dangling from an 18th storey balcony—for kicks and giggles. But it doesn’t end there. Things can get furthermore senseless. We’ve all known that guy who punches walls at the party just because he can. It’s happened to me at my apartment once or twice, maybe thrice. Or how about the guy who punches his bro’s or his girlfriend, or a cop? I have seen and heard it all. Then one day, or even the next, you remind said person about it, and all he has to say is, “Sorry dude,” with an uncomfortable giggle. Later on, he hears the dreaded rapping at his door. Knock, knock. Who’s there? The police, open up. Occasionally, a lot more often than not, the law gets involved. From there it can only get worse: DUI’s, sexual assaults, aggravated assaults, and personal injury or deaths brought on by plain drunken stupidity. Nobody at the bar or party ever wants to chew over their potential criminal accountability until it’s too dang late, people.

Lest we ever forget: how much and how fast you drink play vital roles in how your night will end up. I used to buy a 12 case of Corona with a side order of vodka or rum, and that was usually just to get my night a kickstart. Can you imagine drinking 12 to 24 cans of Pepsi in one day? That’s just nasty. Then I’ve had those friends who would say to me, “Bro, don’t eat before you start drinking, eat once you’re good and drunk.” Of course I would comply, and not remember if I ate anything for the whole forgotten weekend. Blood alcohol shoots up like the Apollo 11 when you drink on an empty stomach, ultimately instigating a blackout. Now we can’t forget the biggest culprit of drinking that we are all guilty of: pre-gaming or better said, pre-drinking. We’ve all done it. We engage ourselves in maxing and relaxing, shooting back a mixture of drinks before we go out and . . . shoot back a mixture of drinks. Did I just repeat myself?

Blackouts happen. It seems totally inevitable, but it is completely in our control to prevent them. For some, it takes a long time to realize the damage caused by excessive drinking and blackouts, and for others, unfortunately never. It took me a number of years, following my own personal trail of tears and empties. Again, don’t get me wrong, my fellow Indigenous peeps. I am not the one to preach to you all and say, “Hey, you better quit drinking, and you best do it right now.” No way José. All I’m trying to insinuate is: switch it up. Slam back a cup of water between drinks. Pass up on the drinking games, beer bongs and shot challenges. Sip, don’t chug. Don’t drink yourself into oblivion but limit yourself to a few drinks. You don’t have to quit drinking but do try drinking in moderation. Also, I might add, I drank as a cure for boredom, and you may too as well. Hell, why not exercise your body as well as your mind. I took up the gym and writing; and both have done miracles for my state of mind. Keeping your mind in mind will help get you to a much better place in life, both physically and mentally.

Indeed, today’s media and social culture has lied to us young men and women alike. It has been exaggeratedly implied that over consuming alcohol is awesome, and that we should be rewarded with some kind of Medal of Honour for our “impressive” exploits of drinking. Well, my friends, tell that to the numerous Indigenous men and women who are facing: life altering injuries, jail terms, relationship issues, probation, money and health exhausting addictions, and so forth. Either way; its all-soul demoralizing outcomes. When you really sit back and think about it, doesn’t it seem that alcohol just brings misery about in the end? Drinking destroys a lot more lives and futures than it will ever build, now that’s the dog gone truth. Drinking isn’t for everyone, and it definitely wasn’t for me. So, I went ahead and gave it up for life. Hear this from a once party loving animal gone clear-headed and sober. Take the time to contemplate and relish the precious moments in life (family gatherings, campouts, weddings etc.) rather than to fade away and get lost in the blackout, or clear, bottomless bottle of it.