Are You Afraid of Public Speaking?

I just remembered when I was in my teen years: a shy girl, that preferred to be alone, always studying, with no time for socializing. What a wrong point of view !. I thought that my most important task as an student was to get excellent grades in all my subjects. I thought that intelligence was measured by high grades. I also thought that smartest people deserved the best salaries and job opportunities available in the marketplace. Little I knew then, how important was to socialize. You cannot go far in life without friends, connections, interactions. I realized all this, when I was in my 50’s, while been trained in the financial industry, in Wall Street. Kind of late, eh!, but not too late!

As a teenager, I couldn’t look at people in the eye, unless the person was in my reduced circle of friends. I got so nervous and pale. My body language was the one of an insecure, shy girl. Nevertheless, I was able to keep an “A” in all my subjects. With a privileged memory, I could recite the content of all my subjects and I thought it was ok, but it was not.

Kids copy paste behaviors, attitudes, values from their parents and the environment that surrounds them. Being an orphan (my dad died when I was 4), I was raised by my mother that never socialize, afraid to be hurt in her feelings and/or rejected by people.

I should clarify that all this happened in my country, not in the USA. Anyways, one day, when I was in high school, I had to give a little lecture as part of a team. I became so nervous. I had a breakdown. My knees started to shake, I was sweating and I forgot the topic completely. I apologized, and sat down almost crying. I was 16 then. After that incident, I worked on myself, on my insecurities; and the second time I gave a lecture, I was so confident that I surprised myself and my audience, to the point they gave me a round of applause.

Schools are failing in their curricula. Students need to know who they are, follow their dreams, talents and passion. Schools are teaching so many unnecessary subjects, like geometry, for example. Tell me, when gave you use the Pythagorean theorem in your entire life! Those subjects need to be substituted by ones that really help them overcome challenges in the real outside world, i.e. How money works or how to write a budget.

Schools need to reinforce the students’ innate abilities and help them modify their weaknesses. The idea of the educational system is that you should finish high school, get a loan to study, go to college, get a job to pay the loan, get a salary. There is no fulfillment in what the majority of people are doing after finishing college. So much emptiness and disappointment! Most of the people who graduate from college dont seem to be happy in their jobs, except for the entrepreneurs who created their own. Anyways, this could be a good topic for another story.

As an adult, I was able to give presentations in college, and even to preach in church, and I just love it! Now, I would like to share with you the strategy that worked for me. I did not find it in any book. It was not a psychologist that helped me. It is a very simple one that I found within myself.

While been a teacher of a small group, I realized that there was a shy kid experiencing the same signs and symptoms of social anxiety, unable to make a presentation of 5 minutes. I taught him the strategy. I said: the fact that you are standing in front of an audience means that you are the important one, think of a presentation as a “show”. It is your “show”. You have valuable information to share with them. Take your time to research your topic, work on your confidence. Do the rehearsal in front of a mirror. Your audience deserve an excellent presentation. They going to learn from you. Make yourself proud of yourself. Do not let people intimidate you. Look at hem in their eyes, shoulders up, spine straight. Present yourself as a “big deal”.

My student followed my instructions, and he was able to make an excellent presentation at the end of the class, for his final grade. He did it very good. I was so proud of him. I felt so valuable because as a teacher, I was able to accomplished my task. I helped him in the same area that I was deficient when I was his age. This is what a real educator is all about: giving empowerment to the students, to add value to their lives.

If you are in the same situation, and you are afraid of speaking in public, I hope that after reading this article, you gain confidence in yourself and get empowerment, too! You already became my student. Thank you!!!