AngelOwlEyes

I had reached the end of my rope. When would life stop hurting so much? I was so tired of this endless rollercoaster of feeling high only to be torn down to an extreme low. Was I the cause for this? Self fulfilling prophecy, perhaps? At this point, I was no longer sure. All I knew is that I was completely hopeless and defeated in that moment. I had recently moved back in with my parents at the age of 40 after a failed relationship. I was terrified to return due to the trauma that I had went through growing up. I didn’t think I had the fight in me to do this again. I had no vehicle, so I couldn’t go for my beach ride down by the water that relaxed and soothed me. I felt trapped. My intuition called out to me to go for a walk this particular day of wanting to give up all hope. I was led right down the street to the Jewish cemetery near my house. As I walked through, I observed each headstone and was greeting each soul as I passed by. I didn’t know why I was here. It was the closest thing to nature and stillness I could reach. I walked in a straight line all the way down the walkway and collapsed to my right and laid myself out onto the bare grass where the graves had stopped being placed. I looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful day and it felt strange to feel so hopeless in that moment. As I cried, I closed my eyes and thought to myself “God help me.” I opened my eyes and stared directly above me at the sky. The clouds were moving fast above me. Out of nowhere, a giant cloud covering the sky above me flew directly over me in the shape of an Angel. I gasped for breath and swallowed. I thought to myself, I did not just see that. Just as quickly as the doubt poured in it left abruptly. Another monstrous cloud Angel flew directly above me again. This time while laying down, I followed it with my neck as it flew past because I could not believe what I was seeing. At that moment, I panicked. God was real. I freaked out. I felt like I was in a video game. I felt like I was being watched. This could not be real! But out of nowhere this overwhelming calmness came over me. My tears subsided. I knew I was not alone and for whatever reason I God had heard my prayer. I got up a few minutes later to walk out of the cemetery. As I was exiting, my intuition told me to look to my right. There in the third row was a feather lying in front of a headstone. I went over to pick it up. This wasn’t just any feather. It was an owl feather. I knew in that moment that my life would be changed forever. You see, I love owls. I have owl stuffed animals, statues, pictures, you name it. My name on every social media platform is AngelOwlEyes because I look like a baby cherub who like the owl, has excellent intuition. The problem is I never listened to that intuition because I felt I was being judgmental. This upcoming spiritual journey would show me otherwise. It would show me that I was gifted with excellent intuition in order to listen to it, not brush it away. I continued now with the feather walking to exit the cemetery. I looked up to my right and saw that there was a Barn Owl statue on the porch of a person’s home perched there as if it was overlooking the cemetery and now directly looking at me. I smiled to myself. I felt whole but very anxious at the same time. A shift had happened. I knew that this was the beginning of my transformation and I accepted whatever was about to come before me with open arms.

It has been several months now since that day and I cannot begin to tell you how my life has taken a drastic turn for the better. I have healed generational wounds within my family and gained the self love within myself that was always missing. I will save that for another story.

I feel so much gratitude to be alive everyday and that God chose to hear my calls for help in the cemetery where I felt I had finally reached my end. Its ironic that my beginning happened where supposedly life ends. Or does it? It’s funny how God chooses to communicate with us through things that are near and dear to us. Sometimes we just need the opportunity for stillness to stop and see things in a world where everything doesn’t stop anymore. The signs are all around us, you just have to pay attention.

My Grandmother whom I believe is with me everyday said to me “Nicky life is full of ups and downs, as long as you’re not flatlined it means you’re alive.” Indeed, Grammy, indeed. I have learned to now always remember to embrace my authentic self. To use the God given talents I was given regardless of fear of what people think and it has made me a better human being. When I look in the mirror now, I am not only proud but love what I see. It has been quite the journey but I am in no rush to get to the end, for it’s about the marathon not the race. I live everyday moving forward with faith in God knowing he is with me as well as my Angels and Spirit guides. I walk into every room now with the purpose of healing it and bringing light. This owl pays attention to her intuition now. And so it shall be….