A Total Turn Around

In New York lived a young man named Derek. Derek was raised in the lower East Side, a troubled kid in a troubled part of town. Growing up isolated, insecure, bad grades, constantly fighting with his mom, and no true direction in life. He was kicked out at age 19 when his mother was fed up with his disrespect. He can still remember walking out hearing her compare him to his father, who left them on Thanksgiving when he was ten. With no close friends or family, the only person who took him in was his coworker Tyler. Upon arrival, Tyler simply said “get your own groceries, rent is due on the first, your room is upstairs.” and that was the only conversation they had for a week.

He set his duffle bag down and sat on the twin sized air mattress. Staring at the ceiling he wondered to himself, “what could possibly go wrong next?” He began to think of all the people he went to highschool with. How could it be that they were so fortunate to have loving families and copious opportunities? With their brand new clothes, family dinners and vacations, internships and family businesses– none of which Derek had.

The next morning, he looked for Tyler needing a ride to work. But Tyler had already left, so Derek had no choice but to walk for an hour. Arriving late for the last time, his manager brought him into the office and sat him down. “Listen bud, I tried to be patient with you. I’ve given you more chances than I have fingers, you told me last week that things would change but you just don't pick up the slack. I'm sorry but I’m going to have to let you go,” said the manager. Derek's irresponsible behavior had caught up to him even outside of his home life. He left Burger King feeling deflated and disappointed in himself. Grim thoughts clouded his mind; his carelessness, his laziness, and loneliness. He wanted to blame Tyler for losing his job, but he knew it wasn’t Tyler’s fault. All the writeups, walking in late, he came to terms that he was a failure by his own choices. He had to find another job fast, otherwise he’d get kicked out of Tyler’s, too.

He spent days searching for a new job. After a week of no one calling him back, he was starting to feel like nobody wanted him, like he was too useless for anything. He was ready to punch a hole in the wall, but to his surprise the phone rang with an opportunity. It was the owner of a warehouse in Brooklyn offering him a night shift as part of the stocking crew. The owner told him to arrive promptly at 10 PM that night for training. Finally some good news! Derek was going to nap for a few hours to recharge and be ready for his new job.

Forgetting to set an alarm, he woke up when he was supposed to show up. After a 45-minute run in the cold night, the owner turned him away. “If you can't show up on time to training on the first night, how can I be sure you would even come on time after today?” said the owner. A job that seemed to show up at just the right moment in life, now only a learning lesson. As he walked away in despair, the only thought in his mind was “I’m such a failure.” Nobody to talk to, nobody to help, Derek was fed up with himself.

He left the warehouse and walked around the city, kicking a crushed Pepsi can with every other step. Walking along the Brooklyn bridge, he could only think “Nobody cares about me. I can’t do anything right, everyone would be better off if I was gone.” Staring off into the city skyline, he got real with himself. “I’ve let my mom down, I’ve let myself down, I hate myself” he said as tears slowly sank down his cheeks. He looked down at the 127 foot drop into the merciless water below. “I can end all the suffering, right here right now if I wanted to. And I don’t see why I shouldn’t; this would be the only thing I would have ever done right.” He hopped up on the ledge. He could feel the cold wind gently on his back as if trying to tip him over the edge. “It would stop hurting in just a second” he whispered.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” said a man standing just a few yards away.

Derek turned around and said, “Have you been standing there the whole time?”

“Don’t do something permanently foolish because you’re temporarily upset kid. Get down from there, walk with me for a minute.” A thick grey beard covered his face, dressed in tattered jeans and a dirty jacket. “Listen kid, I’ve never walked this bridge before. And the one night I do- I see what would have been the biggest waste of potential on Earth.” said the old man.

“What do YOU know, old man? You don’t even know me, what are you talking about potential. If you knew why I was up there you probably would have let me jump,” snapped Derek.

“You’re right, I don’t know you. But you were about to make that jump, you clearly don’t know yourself either.”

Derek was stunned, the old man was right. Derek always wondered why he never fit in, why he never found any hobbies, he didn’t even know what he would have studied in college, even if he could afford it. He never really figured out who he was.

“Now I don’t know if you believe in a higher power, but me? I think the universe led me here to stop you from making the worst mistake of your life.” said the old man. “Kid I’ve done a lot of things in my life, few that I’m proud of and more that I’m not. That's probably why I lost everything and now I'm out here collecting cans. With a record, enemies, and no one to lend a hand– I believe this is what the universe gave me for being the person I chose to be. It’s only a matter of time before I punch the ticket, so there's not much I can do. But you? You’re young, you still have a whole life ahead of you.”

They talked and walked to the end of the bridge. “If you’re waiting for somebody to come save you, you’ll be waiting a long time. The only person in this world who can do anything for you, is standing right here,” said the old man pointing to a tinted car window, where Derek stared back at himself. “You got more years ahead of you than behind you, do something with them. I might be homeless but I’m happy. You my friend can find that happiness too.” The old man walked away with his cart, and Derek just stood there with tears welling in his eyes.

The walk home was the most insightful walk of his life. He couldn’t deny the fact that the old man spoke the truth, as much as Derek wanted to throw in the towel on life and stop trying, he knew he couldn’t. With the old man’s words cemented in his mind, Derek knew he had to do better. But how? That was his biggest question.

The next morning with nothing to do, he walked to City Hall Park to think of a game plan. He knew he had to change, but he didn’t even know where to begin. His heart felt heavy as he thought about his mother, how lonely she must have been since he was gone. He vowed to not go back home until he had cleaned up his act and secured another job, he was going to prove to her that he was better than what he had shown to be.

As he sat down at a bench to figure himself out, he noticed that someone had left their little black book sitting there. There was nobody around to claim it, so he picked it up. The worn leather cover had the words “We Become What We Think About” carved onto it. He opened the book up and on the first page was written, “The mind is like a garden, which can be carefully cultivated or let run wild. It must, and will, bring forth what is planted. If no useful seeds are planted, the weeds will ruin the garden.” Derek turns the page and reads “Odds of winning the lottery: one in 300 million. Odds of being born: one in 400 trillion.” He sat there perplexed. Could that be true? Is it really easier to win the lottery than to be born? He began to think that life was actually the biggest win, and about how he was about to throw away his biggest blessing if he would have jumped.

He sprang up and sprinted back to his room, taking the book with him. Once there, he read the rest of the pages. The final page read “change doesn’t happen overnight, but it's overnight change in our decisions that eventually form better habits that create lasting change.” It was at that moment he figured out what he needed to do. No more thoughts of worthlessness, instead he viewed himself as a person with untapped potential. He took responsibility for his actions and owned his current circumstance, and made the decision to never be that person again. From then on every morning he woke up, he would repeat a phrase from the book– “every day and every way, I am becoming more successful.”

He set out to find a job, but not just any job. He wanted a step up from fast food, and was set on it. He used his last few dollars to print a resume at the library and to buy a blazer from the nearby Goodwill. After a stressful day of interviewing, only one place had offered him a position at the end of the interview. A marketing firm wanted him to file paperwork. He vowed to never arrive late again, and he changed his work ethic to that of the CEO’s. His alarm was set for 5:30 so he could get a run in before work. After a great first day, he went back home with a beautiful bouquet for his mom. He apologized and promised to be better every day going forward. Crying, she gave Derek the longest and tightest hug of his life.

It took him a year to be promoted from paperwork to sales. On one of the pages was written, “don’t build clients, build relationships,” and that's what he did. He followed every word of advice in that little black book, making him one of the firm’s top sales producers at age 21. One year into sales, his firm surprised him with a bonus of a two-tone Rolex and a twenty-thousand dollar check, which he used to take his mother to the canals of Venice. Derek had made the turn around he was looking for.

That was over 30 years ago. And it's still hard for Derek to believe that today he has a firm of his own with his name on the doors. Employing over 500 people, helping his clients achieve financial freedom, and leading an organization dedicated to helping at-risk teens suffering like he did. Derek remembers how he felt that dark night on the bridge, and he devoted his life to bringing the best out of everyone he met. Derek is thankful every day; for the person he used to be, for the old man who changed his mindset, and, most of all– the little black book that was waiting for him at the park that changed his perspective on life.