A Journey Through My Recent History

A Journey Through My Recent History

An Exercise in Self-Awareness

It’s amazing how quickly time seems to fly. As I sit here trying to remember the past few weeks, it all seems like a blur. However, as 名探偵(famous detective) Conan says: "Shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu!"(There is always one truth.)

But I'm not a famous detective 名探偵 thingamabob... so what can I do?

Well, if there's one thing I learned from my years of wasted life watching detective stories, there is always clues lying about. Hidden truths we don't pay attention to but can guide us closer to the truth.

This morning, I found a small packet of clues showing me fragments of my recent thoughts and actions that I had completely forgotten. And with an odd moment of compulsion, I felt the strange desire to write about it today.

Meeting The Old-School Alexa

So, I don’t have a slave-bot to help me remind me of the things I’ve randomly asked for or searched for throughout my days. No Alexa, or Siri, or Jarvis, or an imaginary friend named Bobbifer who I can talk to whenever I feel like. But I do have the next best thing: search history!

Yes, most of us are petrified of our search history. But not I, I have a thing called dignity! … and multiple devices. One device for things that deserve shame, and one for things that are pure of heart. So, let’s take a look at the pure one for this post, shall we?

Here’s what popped up from my cell phone when I tapped Google’s search-bar with my index finger this morning:

japanese to english

pat o'brien actor

adult happy meal

japanese onion powder

which parts of chicken for burrito

human feet short big toe

monkey feet

kraken mascot

japanese cottage laws

disneysea show fantasmic

world women's volleyball rankings

Oh man, do I remember some of these!

A Quick Re-cap Analysis

So, uh… I didn’t think this far ahead about what I should write beyond examining my search history. My mind and groin has presently stumbled upon two choices: 1) end this terrible experiment immediately and pray to the gods for mercy, or 2) go into each one a little bit, then end it immediately and pray to the gods for mercy.

I’m going to go with option #2: kicking my ass and collecting the $200.

japanese to english — This search comes up for me quite a bit. I also frequent “English to Japanese” but that is often less accurate.

pat o’brien actor — One of the many books I am currently reading is called About Face, and this actor’s name came up in the book. I had no idea who he was, so I searched for it.

adult happy meal — A weird news story I saw mentioned adult happy meals, and I never heard pray tell of such a thing. I regret ever searching for this one, as it gave me less hope for America and McDonalds than I’ve felt in a long while.

japanese onion powder — I was tasked to buy onion powder at the store here in Japan and I wasn’t sure if it was going to be called “onion powder” or “tamanegi powder.” This search helped make it more confusing.

which parts of chicken for burrito — I had eaten a particularly dry piece of chicken I cooked up for myself and then wanted to know what type of meat is so succulent and moist like I’ve had in a burrito. (fyi: It’s chicken breast, supposedly)

human feet short big toe — My wife and I were sitting on the couch staring at each other’s feet and commenting on it. This was part of that search. Did you know that humans have made up three types of feet so we can label and brand each other just by the shape of our toes? It’s Greek, Roman, and Vegan. Or something like that. Didn’t really care much about it to be honest.

monkey feet — Same as above. I felt like my foot was closer to a monkey foot and my wife was closer to a human foot. I was wrong, monkey feet are weird.

kraken mascot — I’m from Seattle and love partaking in one of the last remaining generally unwoke sports: hockey. I heard that this mascot had been recently revealed. I was immediately trolled and really wish I had not looked at it, as I believe hockey is now completely woke. Thanks a lot Biden.

japanese cottage laws — Don’t ask, don’t tell.

disneysea show fantasmic — Me and the missus are going to Tokyo Disneyland next month. Our favorite show is Fantasmic. Once again, a search has broken my heart. Fantasmic is no more in Disneyland, nor by Disneysea. The Japanese have spoken. There is no imagination or dragon-slaying Mickeys ‘round these parts, ya hear?!

world women’s volleyball rankings — The World Volleyball Championship Tournament thingy happened recently (I don’t know the real title in English, I watched it in Japanese… waarudo sekai barehbaaru… something something. Whatever.) I wanted to know what Japan and the nations they were matching up against were ranked.

I watched every minute of the Japanese matches, and I must say I friggin’ loved it. I already knew about Koga, but they’ve got a lot of cool shorter than average ladies rockin’ the volleyball courts here in Japan. Hayashi and Seki are probably my two new favorite players I discovered from watching this tournament.

…Okay, this one went way too long… Most of you who have the misfortune of reading this deep into my blogposts probably don’t care at all about this topic. But, seriously, volleyball players in general are super-hot. That’s something we all can agree on. Right?

Conclusion: I Remember

It sure was fun taking a stroll down memory lane. I remembered a lot of things I had forgotten I did. Especially that one Japanese volleyball lady. I mean that SEARCH for that one Japanese volleyball lady. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Anyway, I highly recommend giving it a try yourself sometime. It can be fun to see how your personal search history reflects your life over the past week or two. And you don't have to post it anywhere like I did. You can keep your history personal and for your eyes only. However you use it, just be sure to enjoy the memories that come flooding back! (And delete the memories that you don’t enjoy or don’t want XD)

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またね

I hope these thoughts are helpful. Thank you so much for reading. I Agape-Love you all.

Until next time, God bless.