A Dialogue Between Me and Myself

Me:

Let’s stop pretending. You’re not going to glow up. Not mentally, not physically, not in life. People like you don’t suddenly change. This is who you are.

Myself:

Is that a fact… or just something you’ve repeated so many times it started to sound true?

Me:

Call it realism. I’ve tried before. I had motivation, made plans, and made promises to myself. They all died quietly after a few weeks. If I couldn’t do it then, why would now be any different?

Myself:

Interesting. You’re using past failure as evidence but ignoring one detail—back then, you still showed up. Even failing required effort.

Me:

Effort isn’t enough. I need discipline, confidence, consistency… things I clearly don’t have. I always end up back here. Same thoughts. Same doubts. Same life.

Myself:

Or maybe the same fear.

Me:

Fear? No. I’m just being honest with myself. Some people are born with drive. I wasn’t.

Myself:

Then explain something to me. If you truly believed change was impossible, why does the idea of trying again make your chest tighten?

Me:

Because it’s exhausting to hope and be disappointed.

Myself:

No. It’s terrifying to hope and succeed—because then you’d have no excuse left.

Me:

That’s not fair.

Myself:

Isn’t it? You say you “can’t glow up,” but what you really mean is “I’m afraid to try and prove I could have done this all along.”

Me:

I’m afraid of failing. That’s all.

Myself:

Are you? Or are you afraid of failing after you finally take yourself seriously?

Me:

What’s the difference?

Myself:

Right now, failure is comfortable. It confirms what you already believe about yourself. But failing after real effort? That would hurt your pride. That would mean you risked something.

Me:

So what? Everyone fails.

Myself:

Exactly. Yet you treat failure like a verdict instead of a lesson. You don’t fear falling—you fear being seen trying.

Me:

Seen by whom? No one’s watching.

Myself:

You are. You’re the harshest witness you’ll ever face.

Me:

Even if I tried… I don’t even know where to start. Change feels overwhelming. Like standing at the bottom of a mountain with no map.

Myself:

And instead of taking one step, you sit down and argue that the mountain is impossible. Convenient, isn’t it?

Me:

You make it sound like I enjoy this.

Myself:

I don’t think you enjoy it. I think you’re used to it. There’s a difference.

Me:

What if I try and nothing changes? What if I put in the effort and I’m still… me?

Myself:

Then you’ll be the same person—with proof of courage. But ask yourself this: what if you don’t try and stay exactly as you are?

Me:

At least that wouldn’t hurt.Myself:It already does. Just slowly enough that you call it normal.

Me:

You think glowing up is just about courage and mindset?

Myself:

No. It’s about honesty. And the truth is—you don’t hate yourself because you’re incapable. You’re frustrated because you know you’re capable and keep choosing safety over growth.

Me:

Safety feels smarter.

Myself:Safety feels smaller.

Me:

I’m tired.

Myself:

You’re not tired of effort. You’re tired of fighting yourself instead of your fears.

Me:

What if I change… and lose people? What if I outgrow them—or they reject me?

Myself:

Then you’ll finally know who belongs in the life you’re building, not the one you’re surviving.

Me:

You make it sound simple.

Myself:

I make it sound honest. Simple doesn’t mean easy.

Me:

So you’re saying every excuse I make… every argument about why I can’t change .

Myself:

it's just the fear wearing logic as a mask.

Me:

And if I stop listening to it?

Myself:

You’ll still be afraid. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s acting while fear is screaming.

Me:

I don’t know if I’m ready.

Myself:

You don’t have to be ready. You just have to be willing to stop lying to yourself.

Me:

And if I failed ?

Myself:

Then fail forward. At least your life will be moving.

Me:

…So the real reason I say I can’t glow up..

Myself: it's because deep down, you’re scared of discovering who you could become.

Me :

That’s terrifying

.Myself:

Yes , But staying the same forever should terrify you more.

(Silence)

Me :

Maybe… maybe I’ll start small.

Myself :

That’s all glow-ups ever are. One honest step after years of fear