6 Hard-Earned Lessons from a Teen Who Grew Up Too Soon

1. It’s ok to make mistakes — That’s how you learn

In my household, privacy doesn’t exist. My mom believes privacy should only exist between couples. Of course, after being obedient for so many years, I started to rebel — ignoring what she said and doing what felt best for me. I realized I needed my privacy, and staying in this house will never give me the freedom and space I deserve. This makes me crave freedom even more.

One of the mistakes I made recently was talking about my parents to my friends. When they found out (because they snooped through my private conversations), I got grounded. But instead of feeling guilty, I realized something: I’ve never disrespected them — they disrespected me by invading my space.

The old me would have been crushed by guilt. But now, I know that it’s okay to make mistakes. Especially if they help you stand up for yourself and if it can help you grow into a better you.

2. Not everyone will like you and that’s ok

All my life, I tried to fit in — at home, in school, everywhere. But I was never "normal" because my traumas and my past got in the way. I didn’t know how to communicate properly, and cartoons were my only friends growing up. So my personality was shaped from it.

But when I finally found people who were like me, I realized I don’t need to be normal to be loved. There will be people who accept me and people who won’t — and that’s okay. What matters is what I think of myself.

To anyone struggling to fit in, just be yourself. It might take time, but the right people will love you as you are. You don’t have to force yourself to be someone you’re not.

3. Your mental health is just as important as Anything else

Nothing has stressed me out more than my family. I grew up in a negative environment that gave me CPTSD (Complex PTSD). But even through it all, I stayed hopeful — partly because of cartoons and their happy endings, but mostly because of Allah (God).

Last December, I had one of my worst CPTSD episodes. That moment made me realize: I can’t keep living like this. How much longer am I going to let this effect me? It was ruining my life, so I had to start healing.

I raised myself and taught myself things my parents never did. I had to become independent early on, study for exams alone without anyone’s help. Do my homework by myself, and so much.

And I’ve experienced all roles in a family — the youngest, middle, and eldest. How? I have three older step-siblings who abused me, and my father never protected me, not even once. He loved them so much that he thought they were "disciplining" me and it was for the best. When my younger brother was born, he got all the attention, and I was just invisible. Nine years later, another baby brother came along, and I was forced to act like the eldest — raising him, feeding him, teaching him.

Honestly, if you compare the way I raised my youngest brother to how my parents raised us, you'd see a huge difference. My youngest brother is kinder, more respectful — because I taught him that and I’m so glad I didn’t let my parents ruin him.

Though I may not fully understand what it’s like being an only child, I’m best friends with one. I’ve seen how lonely and suffocating it can be for her. So to anyone suffering silently — I see you. I hear you.

If you're struggling mentally, please know: you always have a choice to heal. I had friends who pushed me to heal. You don’t have to do this alone. There’s always a choice and/or option. It’s up to you if you want to take it.

4. True friends are rare gems ( but are worth it!)

Growing up, I had a lot of fake friends. And when they left, it hurt. I regretted ever being friends with them at first, but then I realized something. If I hadn’t been friends with them, and hadn’t gone through that heartbreak, I would’ve never learned to move on. So, I’m grateful I went through that because it showed me what true friendship is supposed to look like.

A true friend is someone who loves you for your flaws, supports you through everything, and is there even when life gets hard. I’m blessed with six real friends now. They know my story, my pain, my mistakes and yet they love me for who I am. They love me for me and chose to stay with me.

They’ve comforted me, guided me, helped me grow, and never judged me. They see my strength when I can't see it myself — and I do the same for them.

If you find even one person like that, hold them close. In a world like this, such friends are truly a gift from God.

5. Believe in yourself Even when no one else does

For years, I thought I was nothing but a burden, an inconvenience. I had zero self-esteem. But when I started healing, I learned to love myself — even though my parents didn’t like that I was "different."

And honestly? Not being normal is what makes me special. It makes me, me.

Learning to believe in myself felt like breaking free from chains that held me down my whole life. And now that I’ve tasted that freedom, I want more. I NEED more.

If I could tell anyone struggling to believe in themselves anything, it would be:

"Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life was never supposed to be easy, but hope will keep you going. If you give up hope, you’ve already lost. But if you hold on, you’ll find the life you dream of. Never give up on yourself — because you’re worth it."

I’m only 17, but life has taught me more than some adults ever learn. I’ve been through depression, trauma, abuse — but I’ve also learned to love, respect, and care for others deeply.

So to anyone reading this: you can talk to me anytime. I won’t judge you. And I hope I can help make your pain a little lighter. After all, everyone deserves to have someone to talk to.

6. Faith Can Save You, Even When Everything Else Fails You

Of course, in a Muslim household, you’d expect life would’ve been easier. But it wasn’t, at least that was the case for me. My dad drinks, and my mom grew tired of trying to make him stop. My step-siblings turned away from Islam — became atheists, started smoking, and got involved in things that destroyed them physically and spiritually.

My step-brother is now unemployed. My step-sister — well, she’s ruined her life in so many ways that I cant even begin to describe it. And my oldest step-sister? She hated me since birth. I’ve only ever seen her once, and the condition of her place was honestly heartbreaking.

Even though I grew up in such a household, I tried my best to be a good Muslim. What made me believe in Allah even more was when He answered my prayers and sent me my first true best friend. She is literally a blessing from Allah, and so are my other friends. Because of them, I became hopeful and started trusting Allah more.

You know, I taught myself about Islam. Two years ago, I found out that shaking hands with a non-mehram was haram — but I never knew that before because of the family I grew up with. I’m learning Arabic now to understand the Quran. I learned how to pray namaz on my own, and I honestly fell in love with the hijab and taught myself how to wear it properly.

The more I became hopeful, because of Allah, the more I felt like the burdens on my shoulders were slowly lifting. Life started to look…brighter. I grew up telling myself:

"Everything God puts you through is only to test your patience and faith. He would never make you suffer more than you can handle. And He would never let you suffer unless there’s a reward waiting for you at the end."

I’m still learning about Islam, and with all my heart, I’m glad I trusted Allah. My path has never been clearer.

And no — I would never force anyone to accept Islam, but I do hope people stop viewing it in such a negative light. Islam is a beautiful religion. It’s truly amazing.

One of my personal favorite things is that I have vivid dreams. And sometimes, Allah gives me dreams that give me hope, dreams with meaning that remind me that my journey has a purpose. Dreams that tell me that I WILL get the life I’ve always wanted.

I’m not going to sit here and say I’m a "good Muslim" — because I struggle too. I miss prayers sometimes. I avoid the Quran from time to time. I’ve made mistakes. But compared to the family I grew up with, I know I have a good heart. As long as I continue to repent for my sins, I know I’m a good person.

And one thing I know for sure?

I will NEVER give up.

I know that sounds so cliché, but it’s true. I’ve never given up on anything or anyone, and I’m definitely not giving up anytime soon.

I want to keep fighting, so that someday, people — and In Shaa Allah, my own kids — will see me as someone who fought for her peace, her faith, and her life. Someone who chose to rise. Someone who never gave up hope no matter what.

These are the life lessons I’ve learned as a teen who matured too fast. I’m still learning. Still healing. But if there’s one thing I hope you take away from this:

You are enough. You are worthy. You are stronger than you think. And Allah is always there — even when no one else is.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you’re not alone. You can talk to me, and I can guarantee I’ll never judge you.