What Being 17 Feels Like Right Now

Being 17 is not what I hoped it would be. Or maybe I’m the one who couldn’t live the ordinary teenage life because of my circumstances. It’s not all about freedom, or getting to go out whenever you want. For me, being 17 feels like living in the in-between — old enough to understand the world, but too young for the world to understand me.

I wake up each morning reciting the shahada, it’s automatic for me. Then I grab my brother’s wristwatch and check the time (so what if I don’t have my own clock. Something is better than nothing). Usually, the first thing I think about is the kind of dreams I had the night before. I feel like some of my dreams hint at the future. When I woke up today, the first thing I told myself was: “It’s time I daydream more about a better future.”

And I do. I daydream a lot. About the series I’m creating, about my characters, the plot, the world they live in, the lore and backstory. Or I imagine my future self — the version of me who finally gets to live without limitations, who finally makes her dreams come true. I love daydreaming. For me, it’s a wonderful way to escape reality. Over the years, my imagination and dreams have become so vivid that it’s actually super cool and really exciting.

The hardest part about being 17 is that I’m always stuck at home. I see other teens hang out, grab coffee, celebrate birthdays, have sleepovers — I’ve never done any of that. I’ve never been to a friend’s house for a birthday, never had a slumber party. I don’t even have a phone to call or text my friends (because I am still, according to my mother, grounded). I can’t go anywhere unless I have my mom’s permission. Being 17, for me, means watching the world from the sidelines. I like adventure. I love thrill. So being stuck at home and not being able to go out with friends or alone is just a real downer for me. I don’t exactly have anything to play games on either or any interesting books to read. My exams are coming up, so currently, I’m solely focused on that. And when I’m not doing my exams, I’m drawing or just crafting. Even though my entertainment and basically everything is limited, I’m still grateful. I ‘m happy I still have something. Anything is better than nothing.

Even with all that, I’m proud of one thing: I’m still hopeful. I still pray for a better life — for me, for my friends, for everyone who feels stuck.

I’ve reached a point where I won’t let anyone make me feel small anymore. I’ve spent too long drowning in other people’s judgments. Now, I choose to stand tall, even if the world doesn’t always treat me with the respect I deserve. Adults often forget that teens are human beings too. I’m not a child, and I’m not yet an adult, but I’m still me — and that should be enough to earn basic respect. It’s every human’s basic right to be respected, no matter what age. If you can’t respect someone younger than you, then don’t expect them to respect you. Respect goes both ways. And it’s something that should be earned. Because the world has taught me, not everyone deserves respect.

If I could design my perfect day, it’d be so simple: wake up on time, make breakfast, clean, enjoy some quiet “me” time. I’d work out, relax, study, play games, draw, animate, storyboard, and just create. I’d eat light, take a walk, hang out with friends or visit a café alone for a peaceful break. Buy things that make me happy. Clothes of my aesthetic. Then I’d follow my night routine and sleep on time. That’s the dream.

For now, my safe space is my best friend. Alhamdulillah, we’ve been friends for almost a decade. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without her. And I’m truly grateful to my Lord who has blessed me with 4-5 more friends who understand me, care for me and overall appreciate me. I don’t think I would’ve survived mentally without my Lord’s blessings.

When I think about the future, I feel excited — not scared. It feels like freedom is just around the corner, waiting for me. And I’m ready for it. I’m ready to seize it.

People often think teens are lazy, glued to tech, or “don’t know what real problems are.” But that’s so far from the truth. Some people just love assuming things about us without knowing the whole story. If they did, they’d realize we’re all just trying our best, like everyone else. Sometimes even harder. Each generation is different from the last. I don’t expect someone to understand our generation. I expect them to respect us, because the problems of the next generation has a higher impact on them than the ones of the previous generation. Every generation deserves respect and kindness.

The funny thing is, I never really had a childhood. I was forced to grow up early, to think like an adult before I had the chance to be a kid. So in a way, I’m not rushing to grow up — I’ve already been there.

If my future self could tell me anything, I hope it’s this:

“We did it. Our dreams have come true. We’re living the life we’ve always dreamed of. We’re finally at peace.”

That’s what being 17 feels like to me.

Not perfect, not easy, constantly juggling problems — but full of hope. And sometimes, hope is enough to keep going.

To anyone out there feeling the same way:

I hope my articles reach your heart. I want you to know you’re not alone. You can do this. You just need to have a little faith.