5 Essentials to Trust

1. Build genuine interest in others

People will give back proportional to what you have invested in them. Well, not exactly but you get the point. Can't reap where you didn't sow, can you? If you want to experience a healthy trusting relationship, think about what you are bringing to the table fırst. Before you consider what you will take from it ask yourself what you are giving. The downside is also important for you to know: You may not harvest from the good seed that you sow in others. That's not your problem though, so don't expect too much from others. It will do you well to give others room for mistakes.

2. Listen more

It feels better to be heard than to be told. Building genuine trust requires you to go the harder way of listening first, but it pays more. Instead of doing what feels better for you, offer the opportunity for the other person to feel better first, by listening to them as a priority. If you can practice listening first, good. If not, try to listen more than you speak. Ever heard of the saying 'What I hear, I forget; what I see, I remember but what I do, I understand'? Listening is good but it is going to take more than that to build the trust in a relationship.

3. Remember names!

I paraphrase the following quote from Dale Carnegie 'How to Win and Influence People': 'How sweet it is to be addressed by your own name. I know it goes without saying that remembering names of people may be a mammoth task, but hey, you want to build a trustful relationship? You are going to need to jostle those neurons to record and remember names of people that you want to build a strong trusting relationship with. I try to associate names of people with something unique about them... ever realized that the way a name sounds has a connection with the way the person looks? Weird, but I have found a mysterious melody that connects names to people' appearance.

4. Think twice before you speak.

Intentionally and unintentionally, words can hurt - deeply and badly. They don't have to be mean, just careless. Careless enough and the trust becomes harder to build. Constructive criticism would build a strong, healthy relationship, as long as the other person has a strong personality to take it well. Else, shelve it until an opportune moment when the atmosphere is relaxed. Consider the repercussions of what comes out of your mouth, because once those syllables leave, they aint coming back without touching a heart. And I bet you don't want to touch a heart you are privy to in a way that grazes and leaves scars.

5. Don't demand, earn it.

Ever heard of the saying 'people don't get what they deserve but what they demand'? Not with trust. I remember telling my peers to refrain from saying 'trust me' when making a persuasion because it tends to raise the alarm bells of the listener. Trust is not given to those who ask for it but to those deserving of it. Show that you can be trusted by the way you handle information. If the other person talks about others with you, they would the same about you to others.

Now remember, people are dynamic and these tips may not always be applicable but they are valuable principles. If you have made mistakes and lost trust before, don't mourn over the spilt milk, neither coerce or manipulate the other person by sympathy seeking antics - remember tip number 5!

You have heard, lest you forget, you have seen; therefore, go out there and do, so that you may understand how to build strong relationships! Cheers!